One More Step (Would It Make Me Free?)

Changes

Shopping the next day was a new experience. Hitoshi couldn't remember the last time he'd bought or even owned something. It was strange.

Yamada insisted on buying clothes first. Hitoshi felt a little guilty making him and Aizawa pay for his things, but he was also desperate for a change of clothes. He'd been in the same goddamn black tank top and shorts for years, receiving identical ones whenever he outgrew them. Eri was wearing the same thing. Overhaul liked his prisoners to be uniform, apparently.

But he could have whatever clothes he wanted now. Any style, any color. Hell, he could even have something with designs on it. When was the last time he'd had so much freedom of clothing choice? Or a choice in anything, for that matter?

They bought a bunch of clothes, most of which he let Yamada and Aizawa pick out as he had no clue where to even start. There was one thing in particular that caught his eye, though. It wasn't anything special; just a simple grey hoodie with cat paws on the front. But for some reason, it made Hitoshi happy. It made him want to cry. He liked it a lot.

They bought a lot of clothes that day, but the hoodie was the only thing that really, truly felt like it was his. He couldn't explain it. Being able to pick out his own clothes with something he liked on it was just nice. He put the hoodie on immediately after it was paid for, relaxing a bit once it was on. It felt oddly safe. It was a gift Hitoshi would treasure greatly.

Next, Yamada insisted on getting things to personalize their rooms. Hitoshi found his gaze lingering on posters he passed by. He knew kids his age tended to have posters of all sorts of things decorating their rooms: heroes, bands, TV shows, and the like. But Hitoshi couldn't do that. He didn't have any music or TV shows or heroes he liked (barring Yamada and Aizawa). He didn't have any real interests at all, despite being nearly sixteen. Just another thing Overhaul had ripped away from him.

They passed by a shelf full of plushies, which Eri insisted on stopping and looking at. She took great care in inspecting them, as if doing so was the most important job in the world, before deciding on a few and grabbing them from the shelf.

"Do you wanna get one too, Little Listener?" Yamada questioned, jolting Hitoshi out of his musings. He wanted to say no. That kind of thing was for little kids, right? He definitely wasn't that anymore.

But his eye caught a little cat plushie. Maybe it was childish, but he'd never really gotten the chance to own one when he was younger. There was nothing wrong with trying to make up for lost time, right?

He felt a little stupid over the fact that everything he'd chosen himself so far was cat related. He wished he'd had the chance to develop other interests. They probably thought he was weirdly obsessed with them now.

Yamada practically glowed when Hitoshi picked out the stuffed animal, though, so maybe that wasn't entirely true. He was a little embarrassed by it, but he found himself cradling the cat to his chest as if it was the most precious thing he owned. It's just a stupid toy, dumbass. Don't be all weird about it. Even with that thought, Hitoshi couldn't bring himself to put it down.

Bed sheets were next, since according to Yamada, the white ones currently in their beds were "boring and lifeless." The amount of cat-related things Hitoshi had was beginning to embarrass him, so he decided he'd at least get normal sheets. He didn't want them to think he was any more childish than they surely already did.

He ended up choosing some plain blue ones. They reminded him of the sky. Hitoshi liked the sky. It was so beautiful, so vast. He couldn't believe so many people walked beneath it every day and thought nothing of it. He'd gone eleven years without seeing the sky. He couldn't imagine ever taking it for granted.

Eri decided on purple sheets. "Like Nii-san!" she'd explained. Hitoshi's heart fluttered at the title. He supposed they did count as siblings in a way now that they were being fostered by the same people. But actually getting called Nii-san was something else entirely. He liked it. Who wouldn't like being Eri's big brother? It was an honor, as far as he was concerned.

Yamada also insisted on buying him a phone and laptop - the latter mainly for when Hitoshi would eventually be enrolled in school. He blanched at the prices. He was adamant that he didn't need either of those things, that they were a waste of money, but both Yamada and Aizawa insisted they were important "Besides," Yamada had said. "We work five jobs between the two of us. We've got plenty of money to spare!" Though reluctant, Hitoshi accepted.

Eri was also bought a phone, though hers was just a flip phone. "You're too young for a smartphone right now, but with this, you can still contact us if needed," Aizawa explained to her.

Yamada wanted to continue the shopping trip, but Aizawa cut him off. "We've already got more than we can carry," he protested. "Besides, what else could they possibly need right now?" Yamada pouted, but relented anyway.

Hitoshi was honestly glad for it. He felt guilty over the amount of money they spent on him, even though he knew they wouldn't take no for an answer. He was also quite frankly exhausted from it. They didn't spend too long out, but it was such a new experience involving so many people it was overwhelming. He just wanted to hide in his room with a cat plushie for a bit to recover.

God, he was pathetic. It wasn't even that long ago since he was subjected to whatever punishment Overhaul saw fit, taking each one like a champ. Now a fucking shopping trip was too much for him? What was his problem?

He climbed into the back seat of the car, silent even as everyone else chatted amiably. He buried his face in the plush, as if it could somehow hide his shame, how stupid and pathetic he was. He kept his eyes down, unwilling to look at anyone else.

He couldn't bear seeing everyone else look at him the same way he saw himself.

Hitoshi couldn't bear being in the same clothes he'd been in for years any longer. He had new clothes now, so he saw no reason to delay changing any longer. After dropping his new things in his bedroom, he stepped into the bathroom, intent on taking a shower before changing. He hadn't yesterday, too tired from everything changing around him, though he knew he needed one. They probably had warm water, right? He hadn't had a hot shower in literal years. Maybe it'd help relax him a bit after the shopping trip.

He found himself inspecting the various products sitting on the shower shelves before anything else. He hadn't known soap could come in so many scents. And conditioner? He'd never used that in his life. He felt a little dumb about it, but he was eager to get to use it. It really felt like Aizawa and Yamada had everything.

Well, not everything, Hitoshi thought as he noted the distinct lack of body wash. They probably had some more somewhere, though. He turned to the sink, rummaging in the cabinet beneath it to try and find some.

His hand gripped a bottle, finally finding what he was looking for. He pulled it out. A sudden clattering sound came out of nowhere, causing him to flinch. The hell?

A pair of scissors lay on the floor. He must've knocked them out grabbing the bottle. He went to put them back in the cabinet, but paused once they were in his hand.

He found himself staring into the mirror. His hair was so damn long. They hadn't bothered with haircuts at all during his time with Overhaul. And why would they? They had no reason to care about something as trivial as that.

But Hitoshi did. He'd been made to look however Overhaul wanted before, but he wasn't here now. Hitoshi could do whatever the hell he wanted with his appearance. No one could stop him. And maybe, just maybe, styling himself how he wanted would help solidify that he really was free now.

Determination surging through his body, he brought the scissors up to his hair and began to cut.