Tales of East

The Burden of Souls Part 2

"Turukáno." A distant voice broke through the darkness that surrounded him. "Hanno!" The same voice continued to ring all around him. It pestered him that the source of the noise would not leave him alone.

So, hidden behind a fallen log the elfling clutched his ears and scrunched closed his eyes. He tried to block everything around him. Yet, he could not escape from the noise.

Unknown to all leave for one, the second son of prince Nolofinwë huddled into himself in the desolate woods of Valinor. The said elfling, also known as prince Turukáno, sobbed resting his head between his arms. His tiny frame shook with sobs that would not stop no matter how hard he tried.

Frustrated at his own weakness he could not help but remember his father's words. Maybe that was true... maybe he really was a terrible child. His father had been disappointed in him. He had glared at him "Turukáno are you aware of what you've done? Your actions have brought shame to me today."

Prince Nolofinwë stood in front of his son with a stern look. While most knew Curufinwë's rage to be disastrous not many were aware that his stepbrother had inherited the same rage.

However, unlike his brother Nolofinwë's anger accumulated over time. It simmered at a slow pace and then one day it would boil over burning its recipient with wounds that scarred permanently.

His father paused to rub his forehead which was creased with a frown "Not to mention that brother mine would not let it go easily."

"How could you attack Turcafinwë? He is your elder and I will not tolerate this!" His father's rising voice made Turukáno flinch from where he stood. He wanted to tell his father that he had not been the first one to hit. He wanted to tell his father how cruelly his cousin had mocked their family but he couldn't bring himself to speak under his scrutiny.

He had hoped that his father would understand him. Ask him what had made him punch his cousin or at least give him a chance to present his side of the story. He had hoped that his father would pick him up in his lap and gently ask him about the incident just like he did with Írissë or his brother Findekáno. He had wished so ardently.

"I can't believe that you've learned nothing from your brother Findekáno at all." A familiar pain shattered Turukáno's heart as he heard the words he had feared to hear all his life.

His father hated him. He had known it deep in his fea. He had seen it when his father would praise Findekáno or coddled Írissë. He had waited for the same love yet, it seemed to never come his way.

Now standing in his father's study Turukáno's heart ached deeply as he looked at his father's back. He lowered his head in shame that weighed heavy on his shoulders as tears flooded his eyes.

He would not make his father sad. "I... I am sorry ata."

Therefore, prince Turukáno had silently closed the door behind him and left the palace of the gleaming city of Tirion. The elfling walked the busy paths of the city with a small portrait clutched in his tiny hands. It was a portrait of the house of Nolofinwë.

Unseen by anyone the prince had left the city of his birth and made his way to the woods. He would never go back. Maybe that would please his father. The innocent heart of the elfling still imagined his father and his mother looking for him. A part of him wished they would be distraught. Despite his decision, he hoped his family would look for him.

Hours passed as the sky darkened and woods that once seemed familiar now looked menacing. Turukáno could hear the distant shuffle of beasts that roamed the woods. Frightened by unknown beings he covered his ears.

He should have known... no one would come.

With his ears covered and his legs folded to his chest, Turukáno waited for the beasts to calm down. He missed his mother. The dark, the cold, and the wetness scared him. He wished for his mother. She would take away all his fear in an instant. He wished for the lightened halls of his home. If he could, he would rush home at that very moment. Yet, his body refused to move. Fear and shame shackled the elfling.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a touch on his head. "Turukáno." He knew the voice. The sobbing elfling removed his hands from his ears and jumped into the embrace of his brother.

"Hanno!" In front of Turukáno was prince Findekáno, the eldest son of Nolofinwë.

Shame, anger, and envy all left Turukáno's mind as he clutched his brother's robes. His brother Findekáno had come for him and that was all that mattered. Lonesome woods or distant growls of the beasts did not matter anymore.

His brother Findekáno did not interrogate him or pester him with details. Instead, he simply hugged him back. While softly patting his back his brother picked him up and started to walk back.

Almost drowsy Turukáno woke up with a jolt. He pulled his brother's robes to make him stop in the way.

Findekáno stopped and looked down at the elfling in his arms. In response to his questioning glance, Turukáno hid his face on his brother's shoulder. In a voice that could barely be called a whisper, he said "Ata hates me."

Tears that had seemed far away a few moments ago seemed to gather like clouds before a storm. Shame which had fled on seeing his brother had found a way back.

Shuffling the sorrowful elfling in his arms prince Findekáno pried his brother's face up so that he could look at him clearly. "Hanno, atar could never hate you. How could anyone ever hate someone so smart, so kind, so responsible."

Seeing the reluctant look in his younger brother's eyes Findekáno continued. "We all love you so much Turukáno." Wiping away the remaining tears Findekáno kissed his brother's forehead.

"If I had to choose between eternal darkness of void or losing my dearest brother. I would live the rest of my days without a mention of light. Trust me Turukáno your brother would never let you get hurt."

"I am sorr-rry hanno" with trembling lips and shuddering breaths second eldest of Nolofinwe hugged his brother back. "I promise to be better and I will never let harm come to your way hanno."

"Oh my!" Findekáno ruffled his brother's hair as they started to walk again. "I am sure my brave Turkano would never let anything happen to me. How should I repay this favor? Would you perhaps fancy that pie amil made?"

At the mention of food Turukáno's stomach growled. "Pie it is then!"

Under the light of Telperion, two brothers made their way to the gleaming city on Túna.

His knees buckled below him. He had failed yet again. He had failed just like he had with Aredhel, Argon, with his Elenwë. He had failed his promise.

"Hanno..." he tried to wipe away the blood that covered every part of his brother's face. He tried to wipe it away with his cape yet, it kept on coming back.

His brother's braids with golden ribbons had been undone. No...no Fingon would hate this. Nope, his brother always braided his hair. Maybe he could rebraid it before he woke up.

With fumbling fingers, he tried to braid his brother's matted hair. Why was it so filthy? His brother always cared for his hair. Ignoring the blood that continued to form a puddle around him, the king of Gondolin, braided his brother's hair. He had seen his brother do it plenty of times. He had seen him weave the glimmering ribbons that had been so unique to him.

He braided just like Fingon did. Yet, his brother would not wake up. "Hanno...hanno please wake up. Hmm? Hanno listen to me please." The frantic now high king of Noldor shook his brother's cooling corpse.

"Hanno please," he bent down to hold his brother's face and kissed his brother's forehead "hanno I am scared. Please come to me. Please come... I am sorry... just this once. I will be good..."

Kneeling around the High King the leftover armies of Gondolin saw their king talk to the corpse of the High King. They tried to ignore his shaking shoulder and wretched sobs. King Turgon continued to whisper to his brother who now lay dead for hours. Silent whispers, apologies, and promises everything. They saw their king plead to the Valar, to Ainur, to Illuvatar.

And then it stopped. The high king straightened his shoulders and the grief that plagued him was at once nowhere to be found.