The Man Behind My Broken Smile

One Last Shot

My POV

I am Krish, currently working in one of the biggest retail company in the country. I was just busy mending my broken soul when suddenly one of my colleague approach me.

"Lods, question, ilang taon ka na?" He asked.

"Hulaan mo" I replied

That's all how it started..

The conversation went along during working hours and then when I got home. I received a facebook message from him.

He's AJ, one fine man who carelessly made me fall hard and broke my entire personality at the same time.

We got along. We always talked. Be it work related or personal things. We are just vibing, we are literally talking to each other every single minute.

We have so many common things in our lives, maybe that's the reason we clicked. At first we are talking just like friends who've known each other for ages.

But as they say, the only constant thing in this world is "changes".

Things changed. We started exchanging good mornings and good nights every single day. We started updating each other on what is happening on our lives. We are doing things that only people who have relationship can do.

He started complimenting me, saying I am beautiful.
He started to show care whenever I'm out having good time with my friends.
He started updating me with pictures and videos everytime he's out doing his thing.
He started scolding me and get angry with me when I am not eating on right time.
He started calling me non stop when I'm not updating him my whereabouts.
He started asking for the plate nos. of the taxis I rode.
He started sending me voice messages when he's singing.
He started sending me food when he thinks I'm not in the mood and when I'm on my red days.
He started supporting my back.
He started to lift up my mood when Im down.
He started everything that a man will do if he likes the person he's talking to.

And I started to fall.

I reciprocate all the efforts.
I started listening to his rants.
I started to comfort him when I think he needs to.
I started sending him food when I want to.
I started to send him comedy clips just to remind him to smile during busy days.
I started to care.
I started admiring him.
I started getting his back always.
I started thinking him in between randomness of my busy day.
I started getting loyal to him.
I started loving him.
I blocked other people who wants to enter my world because I was busy being faithful to him.

We're just like that. Doing things as if we are in a relationship when in fact I settled with a "no label relationship"

One day I got tired. Got tired of dealing with my anxieties and my overthinking phase.

I confronted him.

"What are we?" I asked.

"We shouldn't rush things between us." He answered.

And so, I got contented. What matters to me is we're happy. I'm happy. I never thought that happiness would mean one person to me. I keep on waiting, patiently waiting for him to pursue me.

But one day, a bomb explode in front of my face. I discovered he has a relationship with someone. That's when I knew I should stop talking to him just like my heart stopped beating.

I tried to detach myself from him. But he keeps on pursuing to talk to me and here I am, a someone who can't resist his charm.

I can't help myself from thinking.

What if I didn't replied to him the first time he asked me?
What if I prioritized myself than prioritizing him?
What if I didn't allow myself from falling in love with him?
What if I didn't cut off the person who is willing to pursue and give his world to me?

But the other me is thinking..

What if he truly needs me?
What if he might get sad if I stopped talking to him?
What if he really likes me?

What if...

What if the world turns and the fate will be in favor with me? With us?

I know and I feel that he still needs me. And here I am, ready to fall harder just to got his back always.

But who got mine though?