Blood Circulation (or If I Had Your Name)

Chapter III: In the Doldrums

I must've looked like a fucking idiot earlier with my mouth opened wide and eyes glued to Natasha. It first went to her face. There was the cute nose I remembered, cheeks touched by light make-up, and her raven-black hair that reached to her shoulders. Was it her white blouse that teased her big chest that made my throat so dry? Or perhaps, as my eyes went lower, all the while eating up her delicious figure, the red pants that highlighted her curves – curves that sent my head flying with spicy thoughts? Her black sash hanging around her waist might have gone unnoticed by me if she hadn't turned around to let me see her round ass.

I'll admit, and damn me for being a fucking bastard, I almost forgot that I was with Laura today.

That's all I've been thinking ever since I arrived at the canteen with her. How quickly my thoughts of Laura replaced in that moment of weakness, playing with my crispy breaded pork chop in front of me, fucking sad over my behavior – with Laura and Promil seeing everything earlier. If Promil noticed that, who I mentally thanked for tapping my shoulder and breaking my fantasies about Natasha (sorry that I ignored you after talking to Laura again, Promil), it's almost a safe bet that Laura noticed that too. Today was dedicated to winning her heart. Now I feel like shit for giving her the impression that I'm interested in someone else...

"Ray-Ray," a voice said to me, only to realize it was Laura tapping on my fingers.

"Y-Yes?" came my reply, looking rather dazed amidst the sounds of shoes against wood-paneled floors and the mindless chatter of my classmates.

"You a'ight? Your food's cold. It's pretty rare for you to ignore your favorite food, Ray-Ray."

I paused, looking at her empty bowl, which was once filled with three servings of chocolate ice cream. Meeting her twinkling eyes, I said, "Yeah, I am. W-Why wouldn't I be? Look." I took a bite of the fat from the pork chop and noticed that the crispiness is almost gone. It was fresh when I bought it, how long did I space out? Damn it.

Then a thought came to me in one of my quick bites: I haven't noticed her cute outfit at all. What the fuck? How could I realize it now when, in an instant, I noticed Natasha in her sexy look? And she was so far away too. Nice one, brain. I can definitely rely on you, huh?

"Ayh lhaykhe yeer ouh'phiit." I managed to say with my mouth full of chops, sounding and appearing like a bigger idiot than I was earlier.

Laura chuckled sweetly though, followed by her usual teasing behavior of sticking out her tongue at me. "Hashtag O-O-T-D! Short overalls never go out of style. Style them up with my favorite yellow striped shirt and sneakers and I'm fit for any adventure, land, or sea." She mimicked a sailor looking out for land with her hand giving shade to her eyes, scanning from left to right.

My heart did a small dance, barely containing my happiness whenever she does that: the shine in her eyes, always the teaser, and, appreciating it better, how comfy she looked with her beautiful wavy earth-brown hair let down. Growing up with her, other people might find it odd whenever she sticks her tongue out, but I know her enough that it's her way of showing affection. She'd also often do this random staring contest with me during class time, daring me to look away, hoping that I would lose or be scolded by my teacher.

As if I could turn away from the love of my life.

"But in all seriousness, Ray-Ray, you a'ight? You've been spacing out for a while now. Is it because of this field trip? To see so many, uh, unfriendly classmates? Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned this field trip to you a few days ago. Maybe then you wouldn't be here." She averted my eyes but continued, "I thought maybe..."

Maybe... What? I waited with bated breath, feeling the chops in my mouth slowly slipping out. When Laura said that, a not-so-distant memory played in my head when she, out of the blue, asked my thoughts about the field trip. Looking back at that scene more clearly, perhaps I might've misunderstood her question completely and thought she was asking me to come along. I'm here now, might as well stick it out. Thinking about it, I keep jumping into things without thinking. Good job, me.