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'•°WHISPERING CARNAGE°•'
-𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑-
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The café was my refuge; this place I can make believe that I am in a caring society. At the tables are my friends, and his, in a transient community.
We, humans, are born to need social bonds. While some people might consider it as one of their weaknesses, others have it blessed to them as their métier. We are born to need a sense of others, even if we are alone. It is terrible for the higher brain to know that we are solitary, that our life path has asked us to learn how to be the warrior instead of the cosseted, the protector and not the protected. Yet there is a need to fool the senses that the arms of humankind is a safe place and we belong to it.
So in this cafe, among the noises of people, their scent, their occasional glances and the chatter of the baristas, I gave my brain a little of what it craved, just enough to see me though. His fingers against mine, his warmth, his breath fanning against my cheek… I felt it all.
Not sabotaging other’s feelings, but this was the only place that didn’t leave me any bitter memories. I could miss him to the fullest here.
“You know you can just speak instead of staying quiet?” Yoongi was always indecisive, hasty and impatient. It didn’t matter as my lips curled in a petty grin, my eyes portraying the shimmer of pain; it always did. And it did its work; Yoongi’s eyes moistened.
“It’s his death anniversary, tomorrow, and I keep having him linger in my dreams,” the voice of hesitation was pliant, hoarse. “I still see him. Beside me, his fingers intertwined with mine. He’s still here, hyung.”
I could see hyung hesitating before his hands strapped around mine, “It has been two years Jungkook-ah. Even he would want you to move on.”
No, no he doesn’t. He loves me like I love him.
My salivating desires, my dwelling brain, my seizing heart, they all try to make the sound of plea and revolt, but would hyung understand?
