Repentance

Just Us Two.. or so we thought..

Our last word's spoken out of hurt and anger. " You make it impossible to love you" he yelled.
He knew exactly how to hurt me, that's the risk you take when opening up to someone and revealing your past. Yet, he knew and said it, so with spite I spewed what I knew would do equal damage " well it's a good thing I never did, all it would've done was be wasted on someone like you".
With that, we parted ways.

.... Some time later......

The cliché of being in a room full of people and feeling utterly alone was my life, as I live and breath. On the outside I appeared to be thriving, not looking back just onward, smiling. Inside, nothing had taste. I hate this, I felt weak, betrayed by my own heart. Why! Why can't I just let go.
Love, it.was. love! And foolishly I let it slip away and for what, pride? The last word?! Anger?!

I slipped my headphones over my head, passing my fellow Hawkins class mates, all strangers to me now, making my way to the cafeteria I immersed myself in music. "Baby, it's all I know, that you're half of the flesh, and blood makes me whole. I need you so". I hummed to myself as I grabbed an apple. Feeling a tap on my shoulder I snapped out of my trance, removing my headphones and looking over to see the curly haired boy, I smiled "Dusty"! His usual smile not there, he protested "where have you been and why have you been avoiding us". I opened my mouth but nothing came out, with a pitiful look plastered on my face I spoke "I'm sorry, I just thought.."

but before I could finish he cut me off, "if you were thinking, you wouldn't have thought that". Taken a back from his harsh yet truthful words, I let out a chuckle. "Right, look Dusty, I'm sorry. I handled this, poorly, I just assumed you guys were his friends first. So he had claim over your friendships" lowering my head "plus, I didn't think.. you guys would want to speak to me".

"We're not picking sides, you both were being idiots" he spoke bluntly. I began walking out of the cafeteria, the sweet boy followed. As we did I heard that beautiful, insufferable voice that makes me weak at the knees yet pisses me off beyond comprehension "Henderson" he yelled at the top of his lungs as he walked over disregarding my presence, he was good at being an ass like that, he swung an arm over the boys shoulder, he hooked him turning to get his sole attention. I shook my head, smiled, muttering "right"! Walking away trying not to be phased by his actions, I chuck the apple out of anger, fighting back the tears that began to gloss my eyes.

Feeling Dustin's hand tap my shoulder once more, this time I shrugged it off "just let it be Dusty ok, we'll talk later" my voice cracked, I kept my stride heading out to get some much needed fresh air.
"So quickly you've forgotten my touch" the voice said in a harsh tone. Instantly halting my steps. I refused to turn. "What do you want Eddie".

"I just, I just wanted you to know that.. that I'm fine, better than fine, I feel on top of the world.. and.. I finally have the girl of my dreams"! He said with a hint of cockiness. Wow I told myself. I turned to face him not caring if I was crying. " GOOD"! I snapped, "I'm glad that you're fine"! Now seething " I'm elated you've found the girl of your dreams, lemme guess" tapping my lip "Chrissy right"... any hurt I felt washed away with his disregard of my feelings, " I have an idea, maybe put all this energy and focus on graduating this year, instead of trying to get a rise outta me" with a hiss. I took a few steps back away from him "What I saw in you I do not know, you Edward Munson are an... asshat".

No sooner the words left my lips, the tears streamed out. He stepped forward, instantly I yelled " NO". Inconsolable, I turned my head, no longer able to face the guy that once brought me happiness, that promised me to never hurt me, that vowed no matter how pissed off we were he would always remember our words "nothings worth hurting one another, in the end it's just us two". Yeah...

"Just us two" I mumbled, letting out a loud sigh "I have no idea how we ended up like this Eddie, I don't know how it got this bad, but... I'm sorry, I'm sorry for ever saying what I said. I didn't mean it, I was hurt and reacted in anger". Eddie lowered his head not making eye contact "it's too late".

I shook my head agreeing "I wasn't.. asking to get back together. I just . . wanted to say my peace. I just wanna see you happy, you deserve that Eddie, and I hope"... "I hope you get that with Chrissy".
My final words as I turned my back to the boy I lost and loved.

....... Time Jump ........

I got a part time job at Family Video, I needed something to occupy my time. The job was easy, good movie selection and there were free rentals for employees, did I mention I got to work with Steve " the hair" Harrington. He wasn't a complete douche, to my surprise. Dustin was the one that vouched for him. Said he was a great mom, what ever that meant. A few months of hesitation I finally said yes to going out, outside of work. For our first date, I assumed he'd take me somewhere fancy then try to get in my pants and call it a night. Nope! He was a complete gentleman, he set up a complete outdoor movie experience for us, projector playing over a white sheet, popcorn, Coca Cola because I'm a coke gal not Pepsi and my fave movie snack, redvines...He remembered. We watched One Crazy Summer and talked with full transparency, he was still mending from Nancy Wheeler and I Eddie. We agreed to take it slow, to give it a chance and really allow ourselves this opportunity. We sealed the deal with a tender kiss, god those lips were warm, tender and sweet. I felt euphoric, I wanted more, needed more. Refusing to part we took small gasp of air between kisses, I ran my hands through those locks of his, I couldn't help myself. I think he knew it too. We parted, breathless "we're.. supposed to be taking it slow" we pant "yeah, I know.. sorry" we smile resting our foreheads together. Steve ignited in me something I didn't think I'd feel again, it was insane to say, but this guy was winning my heart and if I was lucky, I his. Which he clarified I was.

It's been 3 months that we made it official, " I think tonight's the night" I told myself as I stocked the new releases. I was blushing at the thought when the door bell rang, snapping me outta my trance. "Welcome to Family Video" I spoke " anything I can help you find"...
" Yeah, I was looking for revenge of the nerds, it's been out the past 2 times I've been here". I smile and turn "yeah, we actually just got it back today, Eddie"
Instantly recognizing that voice. He looks puzzled until I turn, the genuine smile was endearing. "What the.. when did you start working here" he says as he walks over and gives me a bear hug, I pull away after a second or two "a few months just 2-3 days a week".
We play catch up, he tells me about his band and how they're playing in another state which is a big deal.. I ask about Chrissy and he says she's doing great, he's happy and I can tell by his demeanor and just his all around glow he has . When he talks about her, I can't help but be genuinely happy for him, I hope she's the one. He ask if I'm seeing anyone, I tell him about Steve and he snorts "You're dating the King of Hawkins", followed by a pause.. " I'm happy for you doll, you deserve to be happy". Giggling and blushing I blurt out "that I do, and I definitely got lucky with Steve". We chat a bit longer as I get his video. "Hmm wanting to see this has nothing to do with the aaah... panty raid, they do on the Pies" arching a brow. Eddie places his hand over his chest "absolutely not"  he says. I hand him his rental after  agreeing to get coffee next week. I agree, he heads out but not before looking back "never thought we'd be here, like this. It's good seeing you". He gave me a nod of his head as he heads out. I turn back to stocking when the phone rings. " Family Video, this is..." you get cut off "heeeeeeey! Are you coming in soon? I miss you like crazy and I have something to tell you" as you talk with Steve you don't notice Eddie still in his van looking over at you, studying your smile, that smile that would bring him to his knees, or how you twirl your hair with your finger when you get lost in conversation. Sighing, he reflects on how he mishandled our relationship, how he screwed everything up, how you two were happy, how one stupid argument got way outta hand and how Chrissy is just.....not you. He jerks at the steering wheel out of frustration, then turns on the ignition. Looking back up with longing eyes watching you as your still on the phone he grins "I'm getting you back sweetheart, you and I, just us two" as he pulls out, he's already set his plan into motion.... We start with coffee....

- something short, hope you enjoyed it. It's my first & I'm a lil rusty.Thanks for taking the time to read my short.
Issa🤘🏽