𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗬 // 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻

021

"Where are we going?"
I shout over to the tween who is dragging us down the halls of the mall, twisting left and right as if we were in some kind of maze.

"Did you forget the whole being hunted by Russians thing?" He calls back in a sassy manner, clearly stressed so I dismiss the attitude and nod realising I'd completely forgotten.
"Wow you must be really distracted," Robin laughs at me casually before something seems to click in her eyes and they widen, "oh my god! I did interrupt something in there!"

My face goes red.
"What? No-"
Robin Buckley is not someone you can easily lie to, "you're blushing!" She correctly accuses, "I so did!"
She comes up closer to me and begins to poke at my shoulder excitedly, I stifle a laugh at this, "tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"I am not telling you because nothing happened!" I breathe out, laughing awkwardly despite a little scared by the past events. It wasn't that Steve liked me or knew of my past that was haunting me right now, it was that Robin had always known. I felt a sense of guilt.
She was my best friend and I'd chosen to keep it a secret from her purely from fear, I thought if Robin knew what they were saying.. she'd leave just like Barb did. Find someone better.

"Ruby you're my best friend.. you can talk to me."

I realised now I was wrong.
"Robin.. I'm sorry."
Her eyes soften. She realises just what I'm talking about all in that moment, like everything comes back.
"I should've told you."

She steps back for a moment, face scrunching up in confusion, "w-what?!" She lets out as we walk within the crowd, trying to blend. I reach out tap her arm lightly to remind her to quieten down laughing out a shh sound at the unexpected response.

"Ruby why are you sorry? God I mean I knew and I didn't tell you! Aren't I worse?" She's rubbing her hands through her hair, tugging tightly in frustration, "I should've helped you! But.."

There's a soft silence that overcomes us as we let people pass by for a moment.
"I thought you didn't want me to know."

"I guess I didn't.. I was afraid?" It sounds more like a question then a statement, squeaking out of my lips as my voice breaks, "i don't know I mean.. I guess I was scared you'd leave me or something cause I'm a loser."

She gentles her eyes and puts both hands on my shoulders, squeezing tight as passers by rush through where we stand.
"Ruby. We're both losers."

That was it. All the confirmation I needed right there in a small, dumb, classic Robin Buckley sentence. She didn't care what they thought, she never had. I guess I always figured there'd be a part of her that would resent being friends with the girl everyone hated, the one people pointed at in class and called weird. The girl who would try so hard but it would never be good enough. Not for them.

But Robin wasn't them.
And Robin doesn't have that part of her.
God I hate when Miss Cook is right, I just have to give people chances.
Especially those I love.

A small feeling of comedic dread spreads through me as I realise I'll have to admit to my therapist she was correct. Knowing Miss Cook she'll gloat for weeks.

I snort out a laugh at Robin's response and hug her tight for a couple minutes before Dustin struts over to us angrily, "hello? We gotta move people!"

We break apart and begin to stifle laughter as we follow behind the tween once more, Robin leaning over to me and whispering a quick, "god that kid has got to work on his sass."

My eyes move over to the popular boy who patiently waits for us with the Sinclair kid and I smile, "yeah.. I wonder who he gets it from."

***