Careless Words

The day he changed

Jimin was happy, the concert had gone well and the fans squealed when he ruffled Jungkooks hair. He was a very touchy person and was sure that although Kookie pulled away often he was ok with it, but he just wasn't a demonstrative person.
He went to go to the cars pouting when he saw Jungkook pull Namjoon in with him making Jimin go in the next one with Tae.
"The concert went well didn't it Tae?"
"Yer but I'll be glad to get to bed, how are you not tired.?"
"Because I feel happy."
"Is that because the fans cheered you and your crush?"
Jimin grinned Tae knew all about his feelings for Jungkook.
"Maybe...."
"Jimin......, don't you get fed up waiting for some response, do you not think maybe it's not going to happen?"
"It will sometime he's just shy."
Tae tried to smile convincingly, but wasn't so sure .
They got the driver to stop at a convenience store and picked up some beers which made them arrive at the dormitory later than the others. Laughing they went to their floor as they got near the door they heard shouting. Worried Jimin had his hand on the doorknob when he heard his name keeping him standing there.
"It's ok for you but it's me that looks ridiculous, the way Jimin clings on to get the fans going. Is he so in need of attention that he does that?"
"Jungkook it's harmless , Jimin is a touchy person"
"Well I'm fucking fed up with it, pawing over me, I know he's gay but for fucks sake to me he's just a chubby singer who was lucky to get in the group, maybe he thinks hanging onto me will make people like him more."
"I think that's awful to say Jungkook."
"Is it watch when he gets back he'll try and sit with me interrupt any conversation I'm having and be a pain in the ass."
Jimin stepped back from the door his heart feeling like it had a crushing pain. He bit his lip to stop the tears turning to face Tae.
"If your truly a friend please don't ever mention we heard that..., I don't think I could bear the pity."
"Jimin im sure he's just tired and moody...."
"No, he meant every word, what a fool I've been, if only he knew how hard I had to push myself to do those things, trying to appear friendly."
"Jimin I know , but you shouldn't change your nature to get someone to like you, you were always shy in school but caring, but around him your louder and flirty..."
"Yer..., we'll back to being me then..., promise you won't let on?"
"Of course,are you ready to go in?"
"Sure but don't look so worried they might guess."
Jimin took a breath then walked in ,
"Sorry we stopped to get some beers," he said a fake smile on his face,seeing the nervous glances of the others.
"Oh er good idea," RM said taking a look at Jungkook who had a wait and see look on his face.
Jimin put the beers on the table , "help yourselves" he said swiping one which. Jungkook was sure he'd hand to him but he walked away with it and made his way to the kitchen.
"You hungry Jimin I could make you some food?"
Jimin was about to say yes when he remembered those words ' just a chubby singer'
"Er no thanks, I'll just take this to my room, I don't fancy watching tv."
He walked past them all calling out a general goodnight and going to his room locked the door put the beer down and went into the bathroom turning on the shower so no one would hear the heartfelt sobbing that he let loose.
All this time he'd been living in La La land, the shoves he'd thought were jokes, the taking the Micky about his height, he'd got it all wrong..., he stood up stripping off and looking in the mirror.
"You stupid fool, look at you, who would want someone who looks like you...." He walked into the shower standing under the water feeling totally depressed. Drying off he made a decision, he turned off his light and went to sleep.
"Wow Jimins usually the last to go to bed, hope he's not coming down with something," Hobi said.
"Erm he did mention being tired in the car..." Tae lied.
He heard Jungkook mutter ," all that weight he carries"
"What did you say?"
Jungkook sighed. " nothing.."
"Good, because talking like that could be dangerous for your health ," he blurted fists clenched.
"Hey calm down, why you getting so mad?"
"Because Jimin is a member of our group and you shouldn't talk like that you asshole!"
Jungkook was surprised by Tae's reaction, they usually got on well.
"I'm going to bed too..." Jungkook stood up leaving the rest in the sitting room. He passed Jimins door, usually he'd still be up by now there was no light showing through the door.
He walked into his room thinking normally Jimin would hug him and say goodnight but not today. He shrugged he then took a shower and fell asleep.
The next morning the members got up for breakfast yawning.
"Eugh it's only seven thirty why did they make the radio interview so early?" Suga said.
The front door opened and Jimin came in.
"Hey where have you been?"Namjoon asked
"Oh I woke up early so thought I'd go to the gym, I'll go shower,"
"Hey eat some breakfast!" Jin said
"Oh I had a coffee and something on the way back," he lied, walking past them all.
Jungkook noticed he didn't get his usual' morning Kookie isn't it a great day'.
They were all going in a minibus to the radio station jungkook got on first sighing knowing Jimin would sit next to him plaguing him with irritating chatter, but Jimin got on taking the seat furthest away from him.
At the radio station they sat around a curved table Jimin again choosing to sit away from Jungkook.
The questions started, at first on about the recent concert then more personal .
"So Jimin let's start with you, the fans call you cute, do you think your cute?"
Here we go thought Jungkook.
"No I don't think I'm cute, I think there's a lot about me that is a persons put on for the fans, the real me is a bit more inhibited.
So the interaction between you and Jungkook?
"It started as a joke, it's probably more annoying for him now, I will have to curb my instincts I'm a bit of a touchy person."
"So are we going to see a different Jimin?"
"I think you might see a bit more of the real Jimin, I'm going to try harder to be as good as these six here, you know I consider myself as the runt of the litter I was lucky to get in the group now I just have to prove I deserve that place ."
"Wow you would think by now you know you deserve a place?"
"Do I or should it have been given to someone more deserving? You should never take for granted what you've been given, it could always be taken away."
"I must say I wasn't expecting that, how about the personal side of life, anyone you like?"
"Nobody comes to mind,"
Jungkook looked up at that, he'd been a bit ashamed of hearing how Jimin saw himself, coming from his own mouth he heard what a low opinion Jimin had of himself ,but wasn't he guilty of expressing those same words out aloud.
So RM your thoughts on the group as a whole?"
"We all work hard, it's hard to hear a member say they are not pleased with themself, especially Jimin, he stays longer at practice and puts us all to shame, don't change Jiminee!"
Jimin smiled faintly saying thank you.
The interview went on and they all left , Tae put his arm around Jimin drawing Jungkooks attention ,
"I love you as you are"
"Yer but you know the real me...., I don't like this one"
They got to the dorm and Jin went to the kitchen starting on the food.
Jimin told him not to make any for him as he was going out.
He got inside his room, changing into his practice gear then slipped out of the dorm.
The others sat at the large table eating the food Jin had prepared.
"Shall I get Jimin,"Tae asked
"Oh he's gone out somewhere didn't want lunch" Jin said.
"We're you surprised with what he said this morning?" Suga asked.
"You see the Jimin he puts out, the Jimin I know is shy and not one to put himself out there."
"But why does he do that then?" Jungkook asked sarcastically.
"Because he feels that we all have everything going for us we are all confident and out there he tries to fit in"
"I just think he was trying to get pity,"
"For fucks sake what's wrong with you?"
"What? Just because I see the show off for what he is, I'm sick of the way he has to cling and be so damned touchy, if he knew how it made me feel he'd be ashamed of himself."
"He does you asshhole, he heard every word you said yesterday !!" Tae covered his mouth," oh shit I wasn't supposed to say!"
"Why because he was embaressed by the truth?" Jungkook smirked.
"No because he didn't want anyone pitying him! You are so self centred you never saw what he was like coming back from school, they bullied him, told him he'd never be good enough, that he was not an idol figure, he was too quiet , he should show confidence,"
Jungkook looked ashamed, while the rest felt the same, they had just thought Jimin was, well Jimin.
"We should apologise when he gets back," Jin said.
"No, no he will be so embarrassed, act like nothings happened."
They all agreed, then did what they wanted for an hour before gathering to go to practice.
"I hope Jimin remembers and goes there," Hobi said.
They arrived to find not only had Jimin remembered but he'd been there for two hours already, his top sticking to him, he was bent over the choreographer saying something to him but he shook his head.
Standing up he got some water then walked to the others," hi I thought I should practice a bit,"
RM was talking to the choreographer they both glanced over then RM came over.
"Jimin have a break, you've been here for two hours already,"
"No I'm fine it's better if we practice as a group but I needed to get it right in my head."
He stood up getting a towel from his bag and wiping his face and neck.
"Ready?"he asked them all.