𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐆𝐎𝐆𝐇 ** carl grimes

three

***

We'd been on the road for a few weeks by now. I'm pretty much one of the group by now, they've gotten used to me and started to trust me to go on runs. I'm also getting closer to the people in our group. For some reason, me and Sasha don't get along very well. He doesn't talk to me and he gives me the side-eye. Maybe she just has hella trust issues, or she's just really angry at everyone because I see she has a problem with everyone. But I don't let that bother me. There is someone that I've been getting along with really really well, which is Carl. He always walks with me during our long walks and he always volunteers to go on runs with me. It could be that he finally has someone his age to talk to. Noah is close to our age but still older than us. Me and Carl are assumed to be the same age.

Right now, we've run out of gas on yet another vehicle, so we have to walk on this really long road. Daryl and Carol are gone looking for shit that could be useful for all of us. Carl is walking beside me with Judith in his arms again, and I still haven't left Glenn's side.

"Think Daryl will find anything?" Carl asks, trying to fill the silence.

"I don't think so,"

"Why not?"

"There isn't any sign of life around here."

Silence fills the air again. My stomach feels like it's exploding into a million pieces, and my period cramps are making it hard for me to walk. My blue jeans are stained with blood, and nobody bothers to say anything. Maggie has went out a few times to try and find feminine products for us, but we've only been successful one time when we found an empty drug store.

I don't know how I didn't notice, but when I look behind us, I see a small herd of the undead --or as Rick calls them, walkers-- following us. Rick looks back after me, then looks back. Sasha and Michonne stop walking and start to argue about the walkers. Rick finally agrees to take down the walkers when we reach a small bridge. He instructs us to each stand at one corner of the bridge and wait for the walkers to come close and push them off the bridge. The 'weaker' ones stand on the farther corner just in case we have to kill the ones that the people in the front missed. Sasha refuses to go by the plan, and she starts to stab the walkers. This throws off our entire plan and now those in the front have to stab them too. Daryl comes in and saves Rick's ass at the last second like this some super hero movie somehow. Once all the walkers are killed, Michonne scolds Sasha and they stand there looking like they're about to throw hands, but Sasha walks away and puts her knife back onto her belt. Everyone from the front walks back to us.

***

We're back on the road and it's boring again. Nobody's talking, nobody has found any food, there are no walkers, and we don't have a reason to stop. Until Carl points out the line of cars on the side of the road. Daryl goes back into the woods, and we walk up to cars to see if they are of an convenience to us. I follow Glenn looking into the cars until Glenn notices Maggie struggling to open the trunk of a car. He walks over to her and I follow. Maggie points her gun to the key that's locking the trunk shut. Glenn puts his hand on her arm as a way to tell her not to waste a bullet and that it's not that big of a deal. She lowers her gun and turns to him but doesn't look at him.

"There's one- There's one in there. And I shut it and It's still in there." Maggie tells him. Glenn sets his gun down and adjusts the lock and unlocks the trunk, then opening it to reveal a walker laying in it with a gag in it's mouth and fabric tying her hands together. Glenn pulls out his knife and kills it. He looks back to Maggie and puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go." He tells her, then looking to me and we keep moving.

***

It's been a few hours since the cars, and we're all sitting on the road in front of all the trees. We hear branches and leaves crunching, so we all suddenly look to what is making the noise. Rick begins to pull out his gun out of reflex but puts it back when he sees Daryl. Everyone relaxes and there is chatting from a few of the adults. Another rustle is heard before a small pack of wild dogs come to us and start to bark. Most of us pull out a gun or knife to kill them. Suddenly the dogs are being shot and then they thud onto the ground. I look to see who killed them, and it's Sasha. Rick stands up and pulls out a stick from a close by tree then gives everyone a small stick. When he gives one to me, I look to him in disappointment. I know that we have to eat these dogs, but it makes me sad to think that they had a nice home and a family. It makes me think of my dog, Chewy.

Sasha and Daryl start to cut the dogs apart while Eugene builds a fire. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I start to think about how sad this is. We could be having fun with those dogs, we could be throwing sticks and it will chase them then bring it back. But we're not. We're cutting them apart and cooking them so that we don't starve to death. Glenn notices my tears and he gives me a small side squeeze.

Once Daryl and Sasha finish cutting the dogs into small pieces, Rick hands everyone pieces and tells us to put it on the end of the stick and cook it in Eugene's fire.

Rick attempts to hand me a piece but I refuse to take it.

"Eat. Don't think about it." Rick tells me. My arms stay by my side. "What's your favorite meat?"

"...(favorite meat)."

"Imagine this is (favorite meat)."

I hesitate and end up taking it anyway. I put it on the end of my stick and wait for my turn to put it above the fire. When it's my turn, I start to zone out while my meat is still above the fire. Glenn nudges me to get me out of my thoughts, and when I look to my meat, I see that's it's burning. I quickly pull it away from the fire and now I have burnt dog that I have to eat. I start to think of what Rick told me, so I attempt to bring it to my mouth, but I can't. I set my food down then stand up and walk towards the woods.

"Hey, where are you going?" Glenn asks.

"I just need a break." I respond.

"You shouldn't go out there by yourself."

I ignore him and keep walking. When I look back, I don't see the road anymore, and I find a big tree to hide behind. I pull my legs to my chest and hug them. Tears are now quickly falling from my eyes and falling on my shirt, soaking the spots they land on. My cries cover any sound that's near me. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and out of reflex I pull out my knife, but when I see who it is, it's Carl.

"Woah, hey, it's just me," Carl says, backing up slightly. I put my knife back and look away from him. Carl sits next to me and moves his hand away from me and into his lap. We sit in silence for a few minutes before Carl pulls out a stale granola bar from his pocket and hands it to me. "Take it. I figured someone would need it."

I hesitantly take it and slowly unwrap it, then sticking it in my mouth and start to eat it. Once I finish it, Carl stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and he helps me up then lets go and we start walking back to the group.

***

word count: 1407