Erosion- Dreamwastaken x OC

Part 31

Another You- Of Mice & Men

<<< I will never find another you >>>

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"Text me when you land," Love pulls Sapnap in for a hug as they stand next to his gate. He doesn't want to leave her. Not at all. The hug is tight, neither wanting to let each other go right now. Love doesn't know what she is going to do without him nearby.

He pulls away, "Love you can always come back if you hate it. We still have an extra room until you get things figured out and-"

"I'll keep that in mind," A small, almost sad, smile is painted on her face. "You're the best, Nick." Love is filled with so much appreciation and love for her best friend. Who else would take 10 days to drive across the country and help her move?

He's surprised by her calling him by his name. Love never does that. She calls everyone by their designated name, even if given permission to do otherwise. "Promise me you'll be ok? You'll talk to someone if you're not?" Sapnap is so concerned for her and her mental health. She seems like she's doing alright on the surface but he knows Love. It's all bottling up for her.

"I promise," Sticking her pinky out, he accepts it. With one last hug, Love watches him board the plane. It's almost as if she can immediately feel his absence. As if she is completely alone.

And she is.

Love tries to help herself for the following days. She does her skin care, she cooks, she cleans, she unpacks. Everything Love can do to be productive and help. But nothing works.

She considers reaching out to people like she promised. In the end, Love convinces herself that none of them would want to hear it. Nobody wants to hear Love crying more than she already does.

The numbness takes over completely by day 3. Wearing the same clothes as the day before, Love lays on her couch and binges different TV shows. There is nothing else that fills the gaping hole inside of her soul like burning her eyes does.

Eros/ @erosion- i don't wanna talk right now. i just wanna watch tv. i'll stay in the pool and drown so i don't have to watch you leave 

The first thing she has tweeted in a long time. Love is struggling, just like Sapnap predicted. For the first time in her life, she is truly alone. No one to fall onto, no one to call. Love feels like this is the most isolated she has ever felt.

Sapnap- you ok?

Sapnap- remember your promise

Love- i'm ok

Love- i'm ok

Sapnap- why'd you say it twice

Love- ur mom

Sapnap figures maybe her humor means she's all good. Maybe everything is ok with her and he is just reading way into everything.

Sapnap- i love you and i'm here 

Love- i know

Love stares at her ceiling, tears building in her eyes. She feels like screaming, like calling her mom and telling her to fuck off. Like telling her dad that God isn't real and he was a shitty person who dedicated his life for someone who never existed. Like calling her brother and telling he is a freak and doesn't deserve to be a father.