Love is a delusion

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Love is a delusion

Contains harsh and sensitive words that are not suitable for young readers. Also contains mental and emotional health, read at your own risk.

"Not yet" he whispered in my ears while he covered my eyes with his two hands.

"What is this ba?" nagtatakang tanong ko sakanya, kanina pa kasi niya tinatakpan yung mga mata ko and ang hirap kaya maglakad ng may takip ang mata!

" It's a secret love " he chuckles.

" What kind of secret ba hmp ang hirap maglakad kaya and kanina pa tayo lakad ng lakad aren't we there yet? " Inip na tanong ko.

" It's called a secret babe because it is a secret hindi pwedeng sabihin haha " he chuckles again and guide me.

"Ouch" muntek na kong madapa because of my heels, bat kasi may paganto pa. He didn't tell me na maghihiking ata kami dahil sa lubak lubak na daan I should wear sneakers instead.

"Careful" he holds my waist and hand for support.

All the simple things really matter. His gesture and words are all enough to prove how he really loves me. I couldn't ask for anything more 'cause his already worth it and enough. I smiled in my thoughts, ang swerte ko naman kasi I did not experience like what other girls have been through with a wrong guy. Maybe pabor talaga sa akin ang tadhana.

"We're here" he informed me and dahan dahang tinanggal ang kamay niya na nakatakip sa mga mata ko.

My eyes are still shut but I can feel that he bring me to a relaxing and peaceful place. The cold breeze touches my skin that makes me shiver. And hindi nga ako nagkamali kasi pagmulat ko ng aking mga mata ay tumambad kaagad sa akin ang isang mapayapang harden at sa tabi nito'y dagat, we can also see the sunset from where we stand.

" This place.. " hindi ko mapagpatuloy ang sasabihin ko kasi sobrang namangha ako sa lugar. How come he knows about this place? Ako nga na pala gala hindi alam na may lugar pala na ganto kapayapa pero siya na taong bahay alam niya.

"It's beautiful" he continued what I was suppose to say. I just nodded and head first sa may tabing dagat. As I sat down I can feel all my problems cast away.

" Do you like it?" Tanong niya still standing beside me

I look at him with so much excitement in my eyes. Oh damn this man he really knows how to make me smile and feel relax. I held on his neck and give him a soft kiss, muntek pa siyang masubsob sa akin dahil sa kakayoko hahaha

"I love you" I really do hindi ako mapapagod na sabihin sayo yun.

"I love you more" he respond

I was too busy roaming my eyes around at hindi ko na napansin na wala na pala siya sa tabi ko. So I decided to stood up and go for a walk saka hahanapin ko na din siya baka mamaya iniwan na ako non dito. Hindi pa naman ako marunong umuwi kasi hindi ko alam kung nasaan kami! Myghadd I'm already overthinking ng may biglang bulaklak na tumambad sa harapan ko.

"For you" he handed me a flower and ask for my hands.

"Ayy kabayo!" Nagulat pa ko dahil sa biglaang pagsulpot niya. I hit his chest but all he did was laugh. Kaiinis muntek na kong mamatay dahil sa gulat! Kinuha ko yung inabot niya na bulaklak at inamoy ito even the flowers are so relaxing. I reach his hand at nilibot pa niya ako na parang prinsesa na nakikita ko sa mga romance movies.

"Shall we dance my love?" Umakto pa siya na parang yung prince charming na nag-aaya sa mga destiny princesses para sumayaw. I chuckled for his behavior he look so cute. He put his one hand pa on his back while the other one was waiting for me to accept his offer. Syempre hindi na ako magpapakipot pa at nilahad ang kamay ko sa kamay niya.

I was smiling the whole time and he would just laugh at me kapag umaakto akong matutumba dahil sa suot kong heels. We we're like the real life prince and princess in the Disney world dagdag mo pa yung background. Sobrang saya ng puso ko at parang gusto ko na lng na sana wag matapos ang oras na toh. Na sana ganito na lng kami lagi.

"I love you my princess" pinalibot niya ko ng pinalibot but it doesn't make me feel dizzy. It just made me more thrilled.

This moment was ours, it is ours to keep, ours to cherish and ours to remember. Sobrang saya namin na kahit sobrang pagod na kakasayaw we still continue as our hearts content and enjoy the moment.

"Please don't make your smile fade. I want to see you smiling even when I'm not around" seryosong sabi niya and pulled me towards him for him to hug me tight. I hugged him back more tightly I don't wanna let him go.

"Please don't let yourself suffer and move on my love. I'm always there not physically but spiritually to guide you. I love you. He kiss my forehead.

"What do yo-- " naputol ang sasabihin ko when he spin me again and I fall.

I fall in the floor with my weak knees. Nag-uunahan naman ang mga luha ko and my happy heart becomes lonely and felt heavy. Sobrang higpit, sobrang nakakasakal, sobrang sakit hinawakan ko ang dibdib ko.

"Why?" My voice broke

" Ang saya saya lang namin kanina ah, pero bakit? Bakit nandito naman ako sa silid na ito?" nilibot ko ang aking paningin sa paligid. This is not the place I wanted to be, ayoko dito nakakasakal dito nakakasuffocate. I want to go back doon sa mala fairytale na lugar! I wanna go back to him.

"Pls let me go, I want him back" sumisikip na ang dibdib ko at ang mga luha ko ay parang gripong napabayaan na nakabukas. My vision became blurry. Hindi na ako makahinga maybe this is what reality really is. Kailangan ko sigurong tanggapin na lng ang katotohanan. He left already, wala na siya I should accept the truth na iniwan niya na ako sa mundong ito nag-iisa.

"Ahhh" I shouted parang pinipiga nmn ang puso ko kapag naalala ang nakaraan.

" I want you to be happy even wala na ako sa tabi mo, be strong my love" biglang umangat ang ulo ko hindi ko alam kong nababaliw na ako dahil naririnig ko ang boses niya sa paligid.

"Love? Jake?! Please bumalik kana sa akin ayoko dito!! Nakakaboring dito please! Bumalik kana" I covered my face with my hands while crying out loud. Sobrang naulila ako simula ng mawala siya, halos hindi na ako kumakain hindi ko na din makilala ang sarili ko kapag tumitingin ako sa salamin. I never stepped out this room ever since he pass away.

Natakot na ko sa liwanag at gusto ko na lng manatili doon sa mga lugar na napapanaginipan ko na kasama ko siya. Maybe I was just imagining things pero if it is the only way na mafeel na makasama ko siya I would do anything even it means to sacrifice my mental, physical and emotional health.

Love makes us happy, sad and crazy. Love makes us do unexpected things, and insane things. Love is scary and love makes her delusions.

©sleepynatural
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