Criminal Minds: Paralysing Anger

Chapter Four

Hannah Lewis/Reid crime scene

Within minutes, though it felt like hours to J.J., EMT's and cops flooded the scene. Hotch and Alex pulled up soon after, just as the paramedics were racing Reid into the ambulance and speeding off.

J.J. stood over to one side, staring hypnotically at the second pool of blood on the sidewalk. With blood-stained shirt and blood on her hands, she must have swept her hair out of her face because she had a smear of blood along her forehead. She was so distracted that she didn't even see Blake and Hotch walk up to her.

"J.J.?" Blake asked, placing her hand on J.J.'s arm when she didn't respond.

"J.J.?" Hotch said a bit louder. This seemed to get through to her though she still seemed in shock.

"He looked so pale. So fragile." She said, staring off into space and seeing the face of her friend that no one else could see. She suddenly flicked. "Why him?! Why is it always him! Why not me?! He pushed me out the way! It was me the Unsub was aiming at! He's been through enough! He can only be so lucky. What if this is it. What if his luck has finally run out? There's only so many times he can pull through. God, he looked so pale. He lost so much blood. He needs to be alright. Henry will be devastated. I...I...-".

Right there and then, Hotch did something very "unhotch-like". He pulled J.J. into a hug and held her tight as she trembled. The hug alone was enough to shock J.J. out of her ramblings.

"J.J., look at me. Take a breath. He's going to the hospital he'll soon be in the best hands. Now, are you all right?" he said in a calm and controlled voice that made J.J. focus. Alex lifted her right arm and looked at a scrape along her forearm. She must have cut it when spencer pushed her out of harm's way.

"I don't think this needs stitches, but it needs to be cleaned up. Come on, let's get down to the hospital. We will meet up with Morgan and Rossi there and if you are up to it, get a statement?"

J.J. nodded and let Alex guide her to the black SUV. The ride to the hospital was quiet. Everyone was deep in their thoughts.

When they pulled up and began the walk into the hospital, they came face to face with their colleagues Morgan and Rossi who were laughing at something. They stopped sharply; the chuckling cut dead at the sight of the three—especially J.J. who was covered in blood and clearly a bit dazed.

Morgan raced to J.J., placing a protective hand on her cheek. He asked alarmed "J.J.?! What's going on?! Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. It's-"J.J. started.

"Reid?" Rossi finished almost questioning but more so looking for confirmation as he picked up on the only absentee of the group.

Hotch and J.J. both nodded solemnly.

Morgan looked instantly troubled. His "brother" was yet again at risk of being taken from them.

The five of them made their way up to the surgical high dependency ward they had been directed to by the receptionist. On arrival, they were told Spencer was in surgery and were shown to the family room where they could wait by a lovely young nurse.

It was a long and arduous wait. Nobody had spoken for about 6 hours, other than Derek, who had had to break the news to Garcia.

He knew that she would be beyond devastated. This was her worst fear. The fact that she had hardly spoken after he'd delivered the shocking news and that she had hung up quickly, he knew there was a good chance that after flooding her office with the many tears she would weep for her young boy genius, she would soon be en route to them. Whether it by train, plane or hitchhiking, Morgan knew that she would soon be by his side. Something that he would be secretly glad and grateful for.

It had just turned 2 am. The room was dark apart from a glow radiating from a table lamp in the corner. The hospital corridors through the glass windows of the family room were darkened and appeared deserted. The quiet stillness of the ward and there in the family room felt deafening.

If you looked around the room, you'd have been forgiven for thinking that the occupants of the room were asleep like most of the hospital residents. Everyone was so quiet and unmoving. It would only be the open staring eyes of each individual that would prove you wrong. Everyone was wholly lost deep in thought.

Morgan was sitting by the window looking out at the city nightscape. Garcia's head lay against his shoulder as she stared off into space, their hands intertwined in support. Garcia had arrived around 9 pm, with red puffy eyes and a sad, scared look upon her face. She'd hugged everyone, but it was "her rock" she needed. She needed him to promise everything was going to be alright and that this wouldn't be another funeral to add to her growing list. Unable to, Morgan had taken her hand and held her close. The two sat in weighted silence, wordlessly pleading and making all the promises and bargaining they could to whichever higher power was out there listening.

Around two-thirty the door to the room opened with a scrape; that in the stillness made everyone jump slightly. A male doctor, still dressed in blue scrubs, at that moment looking years older than his presumed late forties, entered looking tired and severe.

A collective gut-wrenching fear hit the group; they all stood up and focusing their full attention to the doctor in the doorway. Hoping for the best but fearing the very worst.