Chapter 1

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I awake to the sound of birds singing I look over at my phone and it was coming up to 6am. I turned over to see Zak was not beside me I sighed. I thought I may as well get up early as I'm awake now and no doubt Luke will want feeding soon anyway.

I take the short walk along the landing to his room as I slowly open the door I see his dad there fast asleep in the chair next to his crib. I slowly walk in and pick Luke up rom his crib and I walk down to the kitchen put the kettle on then let Gracie out.

I begin to make some formula up as I can see the sun coming up from the horizon in the corner of my eye. Luke started to stir in my arms so I began to rock him gently.

"Ssshhh your has been up with you all night we don't want to wake him up do we?"
The kettle boiled and I placed some water into a jug and let the bottle sit into it. Lisa Josh and Emily came downstairs rubbing there eyes.
"Morning mum morning little brother"
"Is your dad still asleep in Luke's nursery?"
"Yes he's snoring we checked up on him before we came down"

I passed Luke to Lisa as I tested his milk out to see if it was warm enough I walked into the front room and sat down on the couch as Lisa brought him to me so I could feed him his morning bottle.
"Here we go handsome breakfast" I placed the bottle close to his mouth has he placed it onto the teat of the bottle and began to drink his milk.
"Can you go and wake him up please?" I leant over speaking to Lisa who was just drinking coffee. She nodded and headed upstairs the twins was due to get ready for high school soon so they went running back upstairs to get ready.

"He's just waking up a bit then he shall be down" Lisa grabbed herself some breakfast and joined me in the otherroom .
"I'm so proud of you you know that right? "
"Mum not stop it come on I only want to do what you do"
"Its a lot of hard work you know?"
"Yes I know but I love it also I get to spend time with aaron"
"Do you think Zak's still not happy I'm not his ?"
"That was in the past I would not worry about it now"
"Worry about what?" I jumped slightly as I heard zak behind me.
"Nothing can you take Luke of me please I wanna get a shower"
He walked around to the front of us and took Luke off me.
"wow your getting heavy little man your gonna be like you dad"
I shook my head and headed upstairs I heard the twins talking as they was finishing getting ready.

"Do you think mum knows what dads planning?" Emily asked josh who just shrugged his shoulders.
"What should I not know?" They both shut up and looked at me as I stood in the doorway.
"You shall have to ask dad That yourself"
"He's going away" Emily burst out and josh looked at her unhappily.
"What do you mean going away"
"He's going on a trip on his own and jay and billy"
"Is he now well I shall be having words with him later"
I left them to it and went for a shower that what they had just said playing on my mind.
I took a shower And by the time I had finished josh and Emily had gone to school and Lisa and zak was about to head to the office.
"Hang on both of you"
I cane walking down the stairs and stood next to zak with my arms folded.

"Lisa he can't go to the office today I need words with him"
"Can't it wait until later?"
"No why are you going away with jay and billy?"
"Its for work nothing more"
Lisa left us to it
"But you won't tell me I heard josh and Emily speaking about it"
"I was going to tell you but...."
"But what huh you was just not going to tell me?"
He looked down to the floor for a few minutes then he came to me and put his hands onto my waist and looked into my eyes.

"You know I love you and I want to protect you"
"Sooooo where your going is gonna be dangerous then?"
"No but you need to rest you know that"
"I'm just going to miss you I've been going with you for a while now and I'm not going to be there"
He could see I was beginning to get upset.

"Now come on I dont want to see any tears falling from then eyes"
He placed his hand gently onto my face as I closed my eyes and put my hand on his.
"You know I will ring you when I can and text you"
"But its not the same you won't be here"
"I'm sure luke will keep you busy and we know this shall happen for a while"
I would not let go off his hand so he could go to work.
"don't worry I will be back later I love you if you need anything let me know"
Just then Luke began to cry in his nursery.
"I guess I have to go and see him before I got to work"
I watched as he walked up the stairs I followed I'm and watched from the door as he was holding look on his chest.

"Now listen little man you gotta look after your mum"
"If anyone cause any trouble you gotta show em who's boss OK?"
He gently took one of his sons hands and started punching the air.
"You gotta give one of these yha cow pow"
"You gotta pin them down to"
I stood there laugging.
"You are never right you know that don't listen to your dad"
I walked in and put my arm around zak and leant my head onto his side.
"Mum can handle herself"
Zak gently placed Luke back into his cot and took hold of me.
"I think we have time for a quick one"
"Nope you don't bow get to work"
"Later then?"
"You shall have to see"
"Why you always do this to me you big tease"
"That's why you love me so much now go"

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