'homo' – thoughts
"sexual"- talking
[beep]- notes
Warning: self-harm/ angst / suicide thoughts / insecurity / suicide attempt
POV: SANZU
After we had packed up all of our things, we set to go back home but Mikey and Izana said that we would all go to a park before we all separate. I groan thinking about being near more people once more. Once we had gotten there, I saw how packed it was I didn't like this one bit.
As we all walked over towards the park, I watch how others easily had fun I just sighed and walked around I couldn't find my mask and my scars weren't covered so I could feel all the stares from the others I felt like breaking down, but I didn't I wasn't going to be weak in front of all these people.
I looked around and saw I wasn't with any of my friends or if they even consider me as one, I sadly smile I felt like I'm at my limit I looked at a kid and they started screaming and pointed at me calling me a monster I watch as the mother drag her son away from me looking at me in disgust. I place my fingers on the diamond shape scars on my face.
POV: YOU
Sanzu walked away quickly trying to ignore all the whisperers "What a freak" "did you see him make the kid cry" "disgusting" "how horrid" "those scars look so hideous" "no one would love him with those scars" was all he heard he felt his insecurities surfacing.
He saw a shop, so he quickly walked in grabbing some bandages and he paid for them he already had his razor in his pocket, so he didn't care he walked to the bathroom and went into one of the stalls. He then dragged the razor against his arm watching the blood ooze from the multiple cuts he was a sobbing mess his thoughts were telling him "More, MORE!!!" "You don't deserve happiness" "you should die" he felt so lightheaded he smiled and quickly wrapped his arms in bandages.
He then walked out the bathroom his skin was pale his eyes were puffy and red and was wearing a mask he brought from the shop he walked towards the others. Rindou went to his younger brother and held him, Sanzu was confused he looked up at Rindou "nothing you seemed liked you cried" he said Sanzu looks at him and held his hand "its nothing" he smiled but obviously he couldn't tell.
After they had all gone back home Rindou and Ran had to go snice they have a mission a perfect time for a suicide attempt he watches his brothers kiss his forehead and left Sanzu waited for a bit then he walked towards the bathroom not even shutting the door he pulled out his phone and texted everyone.
10:44pm
'Gay Strip club + idk 4 straights'
Sanzu: Goodbye I'm glad we were friends<3
Ran: wdym?
Rindou^^^
Kazutora: NO HARU DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE YOU SAID WE WOULDN'T SEPARATE
Baji: ???
Izana: what do you mean
Kazutora: HE SAID THOSE WOULD BE HIS LAST WORDS BEFORE HE WILL KILL HIMSELF
Ran: WHAT HARU
Rindou: PLEASE DON'T FUCK HARU
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Sanzu stopped reading the chat he undid all his bandages he had on himself, and he cut over and over he watches the blood flow everywhere "I guess I never get my happily ever after" he says to himself before he felt dizzy dropping to the floor, he laid on the floor covered in his own blood slowly slipping from life.
