Miss Deanna Winchester [0]

Chapter One

it was a simple Walmart dress, a nice shade of pink and there were some sparkles on it, it didn't look great on Deanna, but she knew that it would take some tailoring to make it fit her correctly. it did make her feel good though, it made her feel like she was going to be ok in the world it made her feel like she could do anything and that was a feeling Deanna never wanted to go away. maybe if she could get John to let her go on a few hunts alone, she could wear skirts and dresses and maybe she could feel herself. 

Deanna had always felt like a good name for her, the night her mother died Deanna had told her that she wanted to be called Deanna, and Mary had been more than supportive, they had agreed not to tell John yet though, and Deanna had kept the secret ever since. a few years ago Deanna had let Sam in on the secret and he had been supportive too. she still wasn't sure about John though. she figured that she subconsciously didn't want to disappoint her father by not being the man John had always wanted her to be. but she didn't want to, no, she couldn't live like that anymore. 

"Dean!"  John yelled coming into the room. Deanna panicked, she hadn't expected John back so soon, "In the bathroom!" Deanna yelled because it was the only thing she could think to say. she heard footsteps coming towards the door and she prepared herself to be screamed at. maybe Sam would take her in if John kicked her out? probably not, she hadn't done anything when Sam was kicked out, Bobby defiantly, Bobby supported everyone and anything, he was a superhero to Sam and Deanna so he would take Deanna in. there was a click as the doorknob turned and Deanna took a breath, John appeared in the doorway and Deanna bit her lip. she couldn't place the look on his face, she couldn't tell if it was support or hatred. 

"what the fuck." John said when he saw Deanna wearing the dress, "Dad, I can explain," Deanna said quickly. she wanted to cry, this was the scariest moment of her life. "why don't you," John said, they left the bathroom and Deanna sat down on her bed, John sat down on his facing Deanna. "I don't feel right... like, I wish I was... a girl," Deanna stumbled through the explanation. "yeah, I know," John said, Deanna, looked confused when he said that, "Come again?" she asked. "your mother told me the night she died, god, she couldn't keep a secret to save her soul, she made me promise not to tell you until you told me, so I've been keeping that promise. I've waited 20 years for this conversation," John said. 

"and- and you're not- disgusted?" Deanna asked, she was crying now, and John almost was crying himself, he reached over and took Deanna's hand. "Deanna, you're my daughter, and I love you, you deserve to be happy, and if this makes you happy then hell, I'll get you all the dresses and makeup you want," John said. "th-thank you, da-dad," Deanna said. "I'm just trying to be a father, you don't need to thank me," John said. "I know you don't like to, but can I have a hug?" Deanna asked. John just smiled and pulled Deanna close to his chest. 

"c'mon, we got some shopping to do," John said, Deanna smiled and nodded. "let's get rid of your other clothes while we're at it," John said. Deanna almost cried again at the thought of never having to wear pants again. John noticed and pulled Deanna in for another hug, "yeah, you never have to wear pants again, I promise," John said. "thank you," she said because that's all she could get out.