With you - a kazuscara highschool au (COMPLETE)

reflection -

Kazuha pov

TW: suicide

I take myself back the the docks. I catch a glimpse of the bloodstained clothes as I pass the water. The ones that couldn't save him. The ones with his blood on them. I walk into the boat.

"Home early Kazuha? Where's Scaramouche?" 

I ignore that, I tell her, "I love you mom, forever. You had nothing to do with what I'm about to do. Please forgive me." I grab a knife from the kitchen counter and walk over the my bedroom. 

"Kazuha? Kazuha? Please honey, what's going on?" I ignore her and lock my bedroom door. Knowing what I'm about to do, I take a long look at myself in the mirror. I look at my blood stained face, My stomach that I worked so hard to flatten, My eyes that hypnotized people into my act, the hands that held Scaramouche till his dying breath, My stupid blonde and red hair that he loved so much. All the perfects about me. 

But as a take another glimpse I see and imperfect person, In every way. The blood on my ugly face. The blood that made me the murderer. The blood that I could've stopped. I look at my stomach. When I look at it, I see my old body, The one everyone made fun of. The one I hated. The one worked so hard to get rid of. The one that make me want to die. I look at my eyes, red from crying, with those ugly short lashes that I tried to grow. My hands, stained with guilt. Stained with love. My love, My heartbreak. My thin, flowy hair, now looks greasy and imperfect. 

The mirror doesn't show you what you want to see. The mirror shows you're true self, the ugly truth you never wanted to confront. The things you never wanted to see.  

When confronted with you're true self, you're true personality, you may think better of yourself. But after everything I've done, how am I supposed to love myself? How am I supposed to look at that, and think to myself, I love it? It's not smart, it's not pretty, it's not kind, it's not loved, it should hate itself. It should be gone. 

In the end, the mirror won't change anything. Not like the filter you use online to make yourself feel better, not like the surgeries you get to make your body more perfect, no. None of that. It shows you the reality. It doesn't want to make you feel better inside, it doesn't want to make you look better on the outside, it's simply there, for you too look at how you really are, how you look without a filter, how you look, whether you like it or not.

Finally after all that blabbering, I smash it. It won't give me what I want, It won't show me what I want, so what's the use? Haha, Now it's time for the final act.

I call this one "A realistic disappearing act". It's a lot of fun to watch, so stay here as I preform it for you, in top quality! I start running the bath.

"You see my wrists, perfectly intact right?" I laugh as I slit them with the knife I grabbed from the kitchen. "Now they're not! Haha!" 

"Nothing in them right now right?" I grab a broken shard of the mirror and jam it as hard as I can into the cut. It almost hurts a bit, but no it feels good. "Haha! How about now"

I laugh as a walk over the the bath tub. I strip myself of my clothes and write a note saying, "I hope you all die, you murderers." I laugh at myself as I preform the final part. I get into the overflowing bathtub, as I tie my feet together. As I go under, it all just fades away. 

Now you see me, now you don't!

646 words 

AUTHORS NOTE

hey guys, thanks again for reading, i hope you enjoyed! im sorry for the sad ending, but it just needed to finish at some point. Please comment requests for later fanfics, since this was my first (real one)!

AND YES, THIS IS THE REAL ENDING.