I don't care if anyone who needs to see this does. And honestly it feels dumb to come back to here and talk about it but I needed to leave it in a spot where I know people who knew me are. I probably won't touch this site after this and I might delete everything else just because I'm tired of this site, but I'm leaving this up for my own sake of knowing that I finally talked about it after like 2 or 3 years.
I was in a relationship in 2019 ish to around mid 2021 with two people, Evan(at the time) and James(at the time)
When I broke up when them I believe Evan went by Bea and James went by Ellis. I'm not sure what names they go by now but for the sake of what I last remember them by, I'll refer to them as Bea and Ellis.
For most of the relationship I thought everything was good and I felt happy and loved with them and I thought that we were good. I was with Bea first and we were good. I don't remember how much longer after me and them got together, I met Ellis and introduced them to Bea and then after that we all three got together. We were good for a while and I felt like everything was okay. The only thing that ever really bothered me was the amount of times where Bea would say that they would die without me. They would say how they couldn't be happy if I wasn't happy and would generally put me on a pedestal that I wasn't okay with but I didn't realize how much it upset me until later on. We were on the phone often and at one point we moved our conversations to Instagram. I hardly ever touched Wattpad after that.
At the time, I wanna say I was about 15 or 16 and I wasn't allowed to have any social media like Instagram or Snapchat. I was allowed to have Discord because my parents and brothers had Discord and we all spoke on there often. It wasn't considered a "social media" and it was something my parents could access and see my conversation on the computer(that I shared with my older brother) to see what I was talking about and whatnot. And Discord was something that would open automatically anytime you booted up the computer too, keep in mind.
Towards mid 2021, maybe even early 2021, things started getting rocky. They would introduce me to their friends with no problem and their friends were really nice, but if I introduced them to my friends, they would both immediately assume that I would end up leaving them for said friends.
One specific incident, I had added them to a group chat with an old friend(I'll call them K) and they met them and we even joined a call. Bea left the call after a bit and Ellis was muted and I thought they were going to leave the call and me and K had planned to leave and play Minecraft in a server with some friends on discord (that neither of them had), I told Ellis that me and K were leaving to play Minecraft in a private server with friends and they didn't seem to have an issue with that and we all left.
After we played games, I had a bunch of texts from both Bea and Ellis saying that they needed to talk to me and I called them and the entire call was them basically asking me if I liked that friend more than them and if I was going to leave them for K. I spent about 2 hours telling them that wasn't the case and that it was a reoccurring thing that they did where they would assume I was going to leave them for my friends, but they could introduce me to their friends with no problem at all. K told them that they felt like Bea and Ellis were stand-off ish and I later found out that Bea blocked K after that group call. Around this time, Ellis started dealing with a lot of mental health problems and would push me and Bea away and would just generally not talk about their issues.
After a couple months, I had to delete Instagram because my grades were starting to slip and my parents were starting to check my phone. I could still use the computer and play games with friends, and I could still use Discord because my parents knew I had that, but I couldn't have Instagram. I told Bea and Ellis this and they both seemed okay with this. I gave them my phone number and I gave them my email just in case and I told them to message me. Bea messaged me daily and I would hardly get emails from Ellis and they never texted via number, which I understood because their parents were strict and checked their stuff often. Every now and then I would pop back into Instagram to tell them I loved them and to check in. Any friend who knew me when I was with them knew I would talk about them all the time and was worried about them all the time even when I didn't have Instagram. At one point, Bea had gotten Minecraft and was playing with my friends and me but they didn't have discord still and that was okay. I spoke to Bea all the time and I tried to talk to Ellis as much as I could.
