Broken Stars

all i want

What was she doing with him?

That was Lucas Friar's only thought when he walked into Topanga's, his arm wrapped around his girlfriend's waist, a meaningless gesture when his true heart was taken by the blonde only a few feet in front of him.

Maya looks really pretty.

No! Stop it. He felt like physically slapping himself to feel anything other than the pain he was experiencing at the moment. Riley leaned closer to Lucas, her voice hushed to make sure nobody else but them could hear what she was saying.

"Josh actually surprised her yesterday after we left," she explained, ignorant of the plastered smile on Lucas's face. "He came to see her before his own family. He sooooo didn't want to leave her because he came back like a love-sick puppy. Ugh, isn't that romantic?"

"Yeah...romantic," he said. He gritted his teeth. There was no way this was legal, right? She's a sophomore and he's in college! How on earth did their families think this was okay?

Unless they didn't know, and Josh was trying to manipulate the feelings of a teenager. It's not like Maya Hart couldn't handle herself, she was the most capable person he could think of. It made her different from everyone else. More special.

"This is their first real date! Oh, we should probably get out of their way, right? I got us a table over there," Riley tried to lead them away. Lucas grimaced. Despite Riley's tendency to see the good in people, it seems that was a trait that would come back to bite her. He felt bad for being with her, but he felt even worse thinking of what would happen when he would reject her.

The couple sat down and ordered their drinks and a cheesecake to share together. Or at least Lucas thinks? Whatever Riley was going on about was going in one ear and out the other especially after he saw them kiss.

His hand balled into a fist. No. Way. All he wanted to do was pull Maya away from that creep and tell her the truth. I love you, Maya. It was always you.

But no, of course, Lucas couldn't do that because of what an idiot he was. He could have been happy with the girl who truly loved him but now he was stuck with her best friend. Riley wasn't bad, but she couldn't begin to compare to Maya. Not to mention the way she treats Maya in their so-called friendship.

Their foreheads touched as they gazed into each other eyes. Josh tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, whispering something Lucas didn't want to think about. Josh pulled Maya even closer to him if that was even possible, and he kissed her again. Deeper, more passionate as he gripped the fabric of her dress. Why did this hurt so much? He could look away, in fact, he should, this was unsettling on so many levels. But part of him wanted to see what it would be like for someone to look at him like that. To feel desired. Loved.

Then he realized. How could he have been so stupid?! This is exactly how Maya feels when she sees him with Riley. Them making out or walking together to classes. Maybe this was all a ruse, she called Josh over and she was trying to get even so he would break up with Riley and get together with her. If that was the plan then it sure is working.

No. He can't embarrass Riley in public like that, that would cause a scene for both of them. He pulled out his phone and secretly texted Maya:

"Meet me out back."

That was it. All he texted. He glanced over at Maya, seeing her pull away and read the message. She didn't look towards Lucas in any way, most likely to not cause suspicion. She consoled the ever-so-curious Josh and put the phone down before it vibrated again.

"Please."

The blonde sighed. She picked up her petite handbag and her phone that she definitely borrowed from Riley. He made some excuse, he doesn't remember what it was, but he escaped from Riley's story about the frog escaping from the chemistry lab.

When he made it, her saw her all alone. The slight breeze in the wind made her slightly curled hair look radiant. The cherry red dress with leather boots served to make her look older. Like a college student.

Was she doing all of this to impress him? She knows he wouldn't expect that at all, right?

"I'm sorta on a date, what do you want," she asked. Her tone remained ice cold, as it was when nobody but the two of them was around.

"Do you love him?" he asked bluntly.

Her eyes softened. Taken aback by the question. She played with a strand of hair behind the same ear Josh stroked over. "Why do you care? You have your own girlfriend don't you? Go bother her about this."

She turned to go back to Josh when Lucas gripped her arm. "You didn't answer my question."

Maya wasn't scared though. Her expression remained fierce as ever. "Neither did you."

"You don't love him. He's an adult, Maya, you're still-" he started.

"What? A child? We're not even doing anything! And I'm not talking about my relationship with a coward," she yanked Lucas's hand away.

"Coward?" he asked. His tone became less angry. "I never meant to hurt you, Maya, you know Riley and-"

"Oh. My. God," she enunciated every word. "Shut up. You blame Riley for everything but you're the one who couldn't make a decision to save your life. You suck, Lucas, you know that? Making me feel like I have to be guilty even though you're lying to your future wife. Don't come to me and act like you can break up with her right now and be with me because truth is, you would run back to her the second she asks you to come over. You know what? You two were made for each other. Congratulations-"

"Then why didn't you say something earlier?! I regretted being Riley's girlfriend the second I said it. I belong with you, Maya. I always did. Instead, you had to pretend like everything was okay. You always do. She's not your responsibility either!"

Her voice snarled. "We both made mistakes. But you're the only one pretending to be happy. I'm actually grateful you broke my heart because I fell in love with a guy who would never hurt me. He sees me for me, not some rebel like everyone else."

She felt like screaming at him, hot tears forming in her eyes. At the world for hating her and never giving her a moment of peace. Why did she always have to be the one at fault? Everyone refused to blame Riley or Lucas, but the second it came to Maya, it was like everything was all her fault. And why? Because she saw the world as it truly was?

Her voice became a whisper. She did her best to wipe the tears off her face. "We fell in love, and you knew it. But you chose to break my heart. So if whatever I'm doing hurts you, I don't regret a single thing. Leave me alone, and never touch me or talk to me like that again."

Maya stormed off. The stubby heels of the boots clicked against the pavement. Lucas's heart beat faster. His mind is racing. His thoughts were filled with anger, sadness, and regret. Deep down, he knew Maya was right, she always was. He was a coward who was pretending to be happy with someone he could never see as more than a friend. At best that is.

All he wanted to do was to be her boyfriend. Forget Riley and Josh and everyone else. He wanted to run back to Maya and kiss her, and have the rain pour down heavily marking a rebirth in their relationship. He wanted to start over and do things right this time. He wanted to be the boyfriend who would never shut up about how perfect and amazing and bold his girlfriend was. He wanted to be hers and nobody else's. They would move in, get married, and follow their dreams. Be happy, there was no doubt that they deserved better lives.

A pang of pain struck through his heart. He was never hers, she was with Josh now. Though that creep didn't deserve someone as incredible as Maya Hart. He was never going to be the friend she calls for advice or hangs out with casually. Never the gameboard partner on Matthew's family game nights. Never the man who would be down on his knees one day and ask her to be Mrs. Friar if she so chose.

Sure, he had a girlfriend. But who was he fooling? He has never felt more alone in his entire life.

A/N: Angst my beloved :) tysm for reading!