Gone

chapter one

Friday December 25th. The streets are crowded for the holiday. But some aren't celebrating, some are suffering.

There's been an accident. A drunk driver. someones been hit. and that someone had to be my best friend, my brother Leondre Devries .

He just wanted to get home to his family. But like people say he was at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

That incident was 2 months ago. I haven't been the same since.

My mind won't let me move on. The same thoughts stuck in my head going on and on, over and over.  Paralyzing me.

He can't be gone. Leo can't be gone.

All the memories, I can't let go.

The last thing we did together was make it to the finals in Britains got talent the champions. we never got to do our last performance. His death was announced a week later. I never contacted the judges, to let them know. Instead I left them clueless. Oblivious to the reason of our disappearance. 

For the past 2 months the judges have been trying to get a hold of me. especially after the news of  Leondres death reached them. I won't answer, I don't want their pity, I don't want their sympathy.

February 25th. Exactly 2 months.

My mums here to check on me, to make sure I'm okay. She knows I'm not, and I don't believe that I ever will be okay again. He's gone and nothing can change that.

No-one  can bring him back, no-one can help me.

All I can do is sit on my bedroom floor and stare blankly out the window. Numb.

A knock sounds at my door. I don't get up to open it, Its unlocked.

" Charlie" my mum says quietly " the judges from BGT are here to see you. They just want to talk. I think Its a good idea, maybe they could help you"

I slowly get to my feet and look at her." they can't help me, no-one can. The one thing Im asking you to do is please leave me alone. I don't want to talk to anyone." I say in a shaky voice, I can't cry not now.

"they will be in the living room with me and your father if you change your mind" she says softly. and the tells the judges to go wait in the living room.

" you know I just want to help you right? I love you and it hurts me to see you like this"

" I know. But the best thing you can do for me right now is leave me alone." I say.

She sighs and walks out of the room closing the door behind her.

About 5 minutes later there's another knock. I groan " its unlocked" a second later Simon Cowell himself enters the room.

" hello Charlie, it's nice to see you again" he starts" I'm sorry fo-"

" stop. I don't want your pity" I interrupt " this is exactly why I don't want to talk to anyone, you all just apologize when they have no idea how I feel and how much worse it makes everything"

" Charlie you need to talk to us or your parents. And if none of that works consider going to a therapist"

" I'm not going to a therapist. Its not going to help me, my mum already made me try"

" that's okay you don't have to. Just talk to us, should I call Amanda, David, and Alesha in?" I nodded though he could tell I was still unsure.

About a minute later the rest of the Judges all piled into the room and closed the door.

" oh Charlie" Alesha says with tears in her eyes as she rushes to hug me. I'm guessing Simon told them not to say anything about how sorry they are.
As she hugs me I try my best not to cry but no matter what a few tears escaped and before I knew it the flood gates had opened.

And here I now was hugging Alesha Dixon bawling my eyes out. Was this embarrassing. Yes. Yes it was, but in the moment all that mattered was her arms around me. Amanda joined in then soon so did David followed by Simon.

We stood there like that for about five minutes before everyone but Alesha let go, she then lowered herself to the ground with me still in her arms. "everything will be okay soon, I promise"

" no It won't, I knew you wouldn't understand. No-one understands how I feel" I said pulling out of her hold. " he's gone and none of you can help me" 

" Charlie-" David starts but stops himself. " I know we won't understand, but we want to but we can't even try if you won't let us in." he says. 

" I don't want anyones help. Leave me alone." I finally say after moments of silence, on the verge of tears yet again. 

About a minute later they all have left the room. I knew they would give up, that's all everyones been doing, My friends, my therapist, even my girlfriend who I trusted the most. I guess I can add the judges to my list. 

Tears soaked my face as I sat on my bedroom floor. I can't do this, I can't do this without him. I cant do this without Leo. Hours pass by and I can't stop crying. 

My heart Broken. The pieces lost, never to be found again.