𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬

𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 #𝟑

Dear Astraea,

Loving you has been the most extraordinary privilege of my life.

When we first met, I knew I liked you. I denied it a million times. I didn't want to be alive. I got to know you. I found a reason to be here. I was a kid who was struggling to wake up each day. You made each day worth living. I wanted to wake up and live because of you.

I believed in life because of you, Astraea Russo. You'll always be the girl who saved me. I owe my twenty-three years to you. I lived longer than expected, and I am beyond grateful for you, my love. My heart will always be yours, even if one day you give your heart to someone else.

Falling in love with you was the easiest thing to do. Once my eyes met yours in the library eleven years ago, I knew you'd have my heart. Your full-hearted eyes caught mine. I felt addicted to you. I never wanted your help because I was so used to being independent. I was afraid of letting that guard down, so I pushed you away. I stopped showing up when you wanted to check on me because I knew I was circling the drain. Life felt like a burden I needed to stop.

I didn't want my burden left on your shoulders. After I missed three weeks of school, you found me. To this day, I don't know how. I was stressed, and to relieve the pain. I turned to drugs. Some days it did soothe the pain, but others made it worse.

Little did I know the one person guaranteed to soothe my aching heart was you. That day you found me was the day I contemplated life. You saved me. You sat with me for a couple of hours, and we talked. Your laugh gave me comfort.

It took me five years to ask you to be my girlfriend and seven years to ask you to marry me. I'm devastated knowing I won't see you walk down the aisle. To cope, I wrote out my vows. I sobbed while writing it. I knew I'd never get the chance to say them to you.

You've taken care of me for many years. You've carried my burdens. You held me on nights when I'd cry in the bathroom. You were my safe place. I couldn't ask for a better woman to call my fiancé. I'll love you with all my life, in life and death.

I wouldn't want you to be worried about taking care of me. I want you to live. You have so much to live for, and I don't. I've fought for so long and suppressed my pain, and it is mentally and physically killing me. I wish I could be better for you, my love. I'm sorry. No apology could pay for the pain you're going through, but I left you a gift. It's a wedding gift even though we won't see our wedding day. I bought it before my mental health spiraled.

You supported me through hell and back. Now it's my turn to help you. I bought you a new computer for writing your book. I won't be able to be there physically when you publish your book, but I'll still be there cheering for you. I love you.

The penthouse in Boston is yours. It was supposed to be ours, but the circumstances have changed. I left the key for the penthouse in my top drawer. I was supposed to give it to you during our wedding reception. You deserve it, Rea.

Astraea. Please forgive me. I'm hurt and drowning in my self-pity. I've begun to sink into my thoughts and drown. I'll always be the kid who took drugs and nearly dropped out of school. I was neglected and abused in the four walls I lived in for sixteen years. It left a permanent scar on my heart.

I never felt strong enough to patch the hole in my heart. I pushed through and let myself dig my grave from eleven to twenty-three years old. For a moment, I stopped and felt alive. I didn't feel the pain or the memories replaying in my head. I felt healed. You made me feel whole again. You were the final piece of my puzzle. You'll never understand how you saved me countless times. I've faced death, and you've been there to pull me out of the fire.

Thank you for being the hero in my story. I'll forever be grateful for meeting you. I'll miss the soft touch of your lips on mine and the embrace of your arms wrapped around my shoulders. I'm going to miss every aspect of you, Astraea Russo. I'm addicted to you, my love. I always will be.

Love Greyson,

♫♫♫

These messages Greyson wrote to Astraea. There are twelve chapters and twelve Unread Messages. These messages are based on 2004 and the current chapter three is from 1992.

If you have any questions feel free to ask. <3