𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬

𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 #𝟏𝟏

Dear Astraea,

Today is the day before our wedding and my death.

I've tried to prepare myself for this day, but how can I prepare to say goodbye to the love of my life? It's impossible. This message will be full of my deepest apologies.

I'm sorry, my angel.

Tonight I plan on taking you to dinner. It'll be our last dinner together. I'll miss everything about you. Your soft lips. Your gentle touch. Your beautiful voice. Your precious eyes could light up a whole city. I've never stopped loving you. I would never want you to believe that I ever fell out of love. I could never stop loving you because I've devoted my heart to you, Rea. I bought you a necklace with our initials. This will be one of my parting gifts, but you won't know that until you read these messages.

I've never been good at goodbyes. This goodbye hurts the most. I'm afraid you'll hate me for the rest of your life. I'm destroying you. I vowed never to break your heart. Tomorrow I'll be breaking that vow. I know you'll be sad for a while, but I would never want you to live in mourning. I want you to live for me.

I never had a chance to get better. I was lost and empty. I felt complete emptiness. It's a feeling that I wish you would never have to feel. I love you with all of my heart and soul. I'll love you in life and death. You brought me back to life many times. It would be best if you didn't drown while you save me.

Astraea lit a flame in my heart that will never go out, even when my heart stops beating. Rea, I'll never be able to apologize enough for the damage I'm causing you. But you knew me more than anyone. You've seen my pain. You've always been the hero in my story, and you always will be.

You're the girl who saved a suicidal kid.

In the last couple of hours, I've contemplated what would happen if I stayed alive for you. If I stayed here, I might find a way to live without feeling complete emptiness. I want to find a way. I've gone to hospitals. I've taken medication that's ultimately made the symptoms worse. I felt like I was struggling to breathe, and someone put a cloth over my face and suffocated me.

Nothing has worked.

Loving you has eased the pain. You'll always be the reason I stayed alive. I may have lost this battle, but millions more people need saving. Our music has saved many people. Once I'm gone, I know listening to a song I've written will be difficult, but I wrote my music for you and the millions of people who struggle to live. Everyone needs a second chance, and you taught me that.

You gave me a second chance when we were eleven. You saved me from overdosing. You were there for me when I was ready to take my life after my mom passed away. You've never left my side. You can make a change in this world. You're a published author. In August, you'll be releasing your second book. The book you wrote about us.

You gave us our happy ending. You gave us the end we'll never have. I am beyond proud of you, and I'll be by your side when you publish your book. I'll be by your side with tears as you hold our baby. I wouldn't want you to be alone. I know you're afraid to ask for help. I'm supposed to be there for you.

If you need help call Blaire or Roman. They are always there for you. I want you to have a support system to catch you when you fall. Blaire and Roman would go through hell and back for you.

I wrote a letter to our daughter. I even added baby names to help you. I want to be more prepared than Blaire and Roman. I wrote the letter to her once she was old enough to understand. You can always talk to me, my Angel. I'll always be here to listen.

I'm sorry again, my angel.

Sincerely Greyson Allori,