Episode 18: The Penitent Man
"So Tsubaki, Emi, and I will mostly just be hanging out at the mall together today," Kaori's voice informed Kousei over the phone. "Sorry it interfered with our practice, but I just figured the three of us hadn't hung out in a while. That okay?"
"Of course!" Kousei said as he finished folding his laundry. "You know you don't need to, well, 'ask permission' for that, right?"
"Aw, you're so sweet!" Kaori teased. "I gotta run now, but I'll call you later okay?"
"Love you, Kaori," Kousei replied. "I hope all of you have fun!"
Upon hanging up the phone, Kousei resumed putting his laundry away in their designated drawers, as any proper person would. His ears detected the light steps of his father's slippers in the hall, and he turned to see his father appear in the doorway.
"Good morning, son!" Takahiko greeted, his right hand holding his steaming mug of coffee. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Kousei shrugged. "Just another regular Saturday."
"Well, you've stayed on top of your homework during the week, so how about we have a bit more of a relaxed day today?" Takahiko suggested. "Maybe go through some of the movies in my collection?"
"Sure!" Kousei smiled.
"Oh, also, I managed to get work off for both your Spring Recital plus yours and Kaori's summer performance! I can't wait to see it!"
Kousei fought back a surprised expression that threatened to reveal his slowly dissolving—but still present—grudge. Takahiko was no fool, though, for he detected the tiny hesitation. Anyone else would've missed it. But Takahiko wasn't just any other person. He was Kousei's father, and he knew he had to coax out what was troubling his son.
"Kousei? Is that alright?"
"Yeah, it's fine dad. Thank you! Really!"
Takahiko stepped into the room, his countenance empathetic and his hand gentle but firm as he placed it on his son's shoulder.
"Son, please. What's the matter?"
Kousei looked down at the drawer in shame, not wanting to meet his father's gaze. After all, who was he to keep bringing up something he and his dad had already talked over twice? But upon seeing that his father would not leave until he knew what was gnawing at his conscience, Kousei attempted to redirect the conversation.
"It's fine, dad," Kousei began. "We already talked about it last Sunday. You said you need to work enough time to pay the bills, and I already said I'll give you my performance schedule ahead of time. It's okay, seriously."
"Yes, Kousei," Takahiko agreed. "But right now it seems like there's something else I should know. Please, son. You can tell me."
Kousei sighed. No use backing out now. He might as well just say it.
"Every time you bring up missing or being able to attend one of my performances, all the old memories resurface," Kousei admitted. "I don't know why! We've already talked it over. I know how difficult a position you were in as mom was dying. So I don't want to bring it up every time! It's not fair to you!"
Takahiko rubbed his son's back, simply smiling in understanding.
"Kousei...the things you suffered due to my choices don't just go away overnight. I understand that." Takahiko assured him. "And I'm sorry if my well-intentioned words bring back some old wounds. My son, please. I do not hold it against you if it takes you a while to get over these things. Just know I'm always here and willing to talk about them when you want to. Alright?"
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