Staunch Fate

Chapter 8

The mucky water ripples with the wind. Anna's eyes are locked on this simple yet enchanting dance. Anything to keep her mind occupied, to keep it from wandering to morbid thoughts. The mundane noises that are coming from the yard are enough to make her flinch. She sits on a makeshift bench overlooking the canal with its little boats. Anna waits surrounded by the cacophony of a busy day, hearing the rumble from the factories and the horses in the nearby stable. Their hooves stab into the mud bringing forth a recent memory of an early morning.

Humidity clung to the land, chilling the air as much as the pair of cold eyes that had captured her in thrall. The only warmth came from his mouth so close to hers. His trembling fingers ran patterns up and down her arms. It was but a moment. The next he was already running out of the stables. Their morning ride was all but forgotten. She is still hesitant to name what transpired between them. She is sure he is not fairing any better. After, he locked himself in the office as he is wont to do, keeping his distance and for once Anna let him. So caught up she was in her daydream, she didn't hear the steps approaching her.

It took longer than a month. As angry as she was in the beginning, it was only so because she was afraid. It took her all her grit to still her heart and come meet her mother. She was ready then. Anna wanted to meet her as an equal. As time passed though, in the comfort of the routine she built with Tommy and Charles, so did her resolve withered. It was hard enough to leave the first few people she considers home. It became unbearable to leave her boys behind.

The click-clunk of a pair of hurried heals reached her ears then. Anna's determination was nowhere to be found but her anger spilt forth. Squaring her shoulders, lifting her chin higher trying to resemble the person she knows she is. Anna doesn't turn to her left. Doesn't look to her left. From the corner of her eyes, she catches a glimpse of a petite woman stalling, fidgeting and patting down her skirt. She grooms her hair and finally, she takes a step. Calm and collected as only Shelby women know-how in these unfortunate circumstances. Her fingers are white as she is clasping her handbag. She takes a seat by her side.

A warmth spills from the woman, the likes of which Anna never knew. No noise can distract her now. She sees the trembling hand reaching for her and before Anna can decide how to react she feels a light caress over her fingers. She turns abruptly and sees a stranger. Nothing could have her prepared for this. She had visited her in their dreams but whereas Tommy's face had become clearer, hers had stayed vague. Whereas Tommy brought comfort, she brought tolerance. The hand patting her fingers rises tentatively to her cheek as if she needs proof that she is there. Funny how both of them who duel in visions need concrete proof. She scrutinises the woman beside her noticing the similarities in their appearance. The woman is smiling even when tears flow freely down her cheeks. Anna waits but her anger catches her unguarded.

"Why?" The same old question she can't shake off. No matter what Tommy claims. No matter if she believes him. She needs to hear it from her.

"Sally..." The first thing her mother says to her, hesitating to form the syllables of her name. Her lips tighten, eyes jumping between Anna's own. "A neighbour... Well you see, she grew jealous of the linen I had drying out back. She accused me of stealing them from a hotel. I hadn't." She clutches her hand pleading with her to understand. "What I had was a still for gin." The explanation comes rushing through her mouth in a panic. Words being shared only with a few, a way to lament away her demons.

"How long were you in?"

"Six months." She says bitterly. "After I was released I tried to find you. I did everything I could back then but it wasn't much of anything. You and Michael you were just gone." She reaches in her handbag for a handkerchief, dumping it on her eyes. "I tried... I tried to find you a couple of years ago. Your brother came to me but I only got a black file about you. I didn't know."