No Means Yes (Negan x Reader)

Chapter 4: Bye-Bye Sunshine

- The head of the Saviors has his eyes set on Alexandrais scout and she knows, ready to confront him about it. -

It's incredibly cold today in Alexandria. Snow is still sitting on the branches of the trees and on the roofs of the houses. You're sitting on the steps to your porch, watching Alexandria getting ready for the Saviors, who'll arrive at any minute now. The cold doesn't bother you much, actually you're barely feeling it. Not a good sign.

You place your head in your hands for a moment, before running them through your hair. Exhaustion is making your bones weigh as if they were made out of lead. The anger and frustration from last week's pickup drained you until there was nothing left but numbness. Negan is driving you insane. This man is hot and cold, yes and no at the whim. Everytime you think you've figured him out, he still manages to surprise you yet again. In one moment he acts concerned, in the other he threatens you. He'll praise you, only to admonish you afterwards. He'll flirt with you, only to let you fall again. It's maddening.

But that's not even the worst part. No, you just couldn't keep your mouth shut and had to flirt back. In the worst moment possible even. It was an accident, but still. You're just insanely lucky none of his or your people took notice back then. You don't want to imagine what would happen if someone knew.

Over the past days you considered moving out, to blow off some steam by hunting down a few walkers, to get your mind off of, well, Negan. You'd have found knives or a weapon on the way or figured something out. But something held you back. Maybe the more rational part of your mind, that was still working somehow. And in retrospect it was the smartest decision. If you had moved out, you would have missed your fathers return.

Surprisingly, against all of your expectations, the teams returned not only successfully, but also quite unscratched considering the conditions they've found themselves in. If you're honest to yourself, you even would have expected at least one death. But no, your father brought everyone back home.

The sewers are overflowing with supplies of all kinds. Food, clothing, tools, you name it. Their return was celebrated with a big campfire, booze and cooked food, which lifted your spirits momentarily. Michonne suggested that Alexandria should hold this little event every week after the pickups and everyone in town was grateful to have something to look forward to from now on. Even you.

The sound of trucks reaches your ears and you turn your head to see the Saviors arriving at the gate. You take it as your cue to go back to the pantry. As much as you would love to hide this week, you have unfinished work left at the pantry that you have to attend to.

With tired but still quick steps you make your way to the pantry. Rick and Olivia are already there, waiting for the Saviors. Oliva hands her clipboard over to Rick who looks up when he hears your steps coming closer. "I thought you'd go back home?" Concern is thick in his voice.

He knows you're not feeling well and went out of his way to keep work from you, so you could sleep in and have some alone time. He meant to do good, he really did but what he didn't know is that alone time meant silence and time to think, which inevitably made your thoughts spin and race faster - worsening your inner turmoil and mood. But you are still thankful, nonetheless. At least he cared, right? "Didn't get everything listed in time," you answer him, "They're gonna ask questions."

Rick places a hand on your shoulder with a faint smile. "We'll deal with it. Go home. Please."

For the first time in a long time you don't fight your father. You nod at him before turning around. Better hurry and get out of the Savior's sight. Your eyes are set on your house as you make your way back home. Some of the Saviors already walk up the streets and you watch them from your periphery.