𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙖𝙝,,

𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙖𝙝,, 𝘱𝘵. 𝘰𝘯𝘦

Dear Noah,

Happy 17th birthday! It's June 20th. I mean, obviously. How could you forget your own birthday...?

I'm pretty sure Mom, Dad, Harper, Alexa, and Ben are planning a surprise party for me. Ben and Alexa showed up at the front door at like, 1 PM, and told me we were going out to lunch and we'd just hang out. I'm laughing at the fact that they believe they're not planning or plotting anything. First we went to the nice restaurant in town and got some food. We each ordered and Ben paid for all of our meals after we finished eating. We all got in Ben's gray Ford Explorer and drove to that little ice cream shop, the one I always tell you about. I got Chocolate Fudge in a waffle cone, like I always do, Ben got Cookies n' Cream in a bowl, and Alexa got Rocky Road in a waffle cone. This time, Alexa paid. Yeah, something is definitely being planned.

Even though I suspected a party, I still asked Ben and Alexa about it. They just said, "Oh, we just wanted to hang out with you." I smiled, even though I was sure there was more to the story.

A little bit later (like, 2 hours later) Ben and Alexa whispered something to each other after Lex looked at her phone. Ben looked at me and said that we could go back now. "Ok." I said. We got into the car and drove back home. When I opened the car door, Ben and Alexa stuttered, "Your parents- uh, they wanted us to... uh, check on the plants real quick. You- you go inside, ok? We'll go in the back." Umm, weird much? Noah, I bet you would have laughed and said you'd go back with them too. They bolted to the backyard and I slowly walked onto the front porch. I opened the door, looked inside, and the lights looked normal, except no one was there. Or so it seemed. DUN DUN DUNNN.

All of a sudden, everyone- and I mean EVERYONE- jumped out from their hiding places and yelled, "SURPRISE!!" I jumped even though I expected it. Mom and Dad walked towards me with a cake that had blue frosting, daisies, and 17 was written in blue. "Happy birthday, Nat." They said. And I whispered, "And Noah." before blowing out the candles in the cake. They looked sad. But they also looked happy.

I miss you, Noah. But I know you're here in my mind and my heart. :)

Love, Nat <3

My twin brother, Noah Brown, died a few days after we were born. It was a rough time for my parents, but we still made it! We made it all the way to my 17th birthday. That's today. My parents don't show it, but I know they really miss Noah. It shows a bit more on birthdays than on usual days. But, Noah is definitely here, in our minds and our hearts. I sound so solemn when I say that... anyways. Sure, I only 'knew' him for a few days, when I wasn't even a week old, but still, I miss him. Having him here, next to me, on our 17th birthday, would be so special. But I know he's not physically here and if he were, my life would be so, so different. I wouldn't mind. Actually, I probably would mind. If Noah was here then Alexa might not be my best friend and Ben might not be my boyfriend. And Alexa and Ben have survived this long with me. If they were gone I don't know what I would do.

So, today. Back to my birthday. I'm- we're- turning 17 today. And Ben and Alexa have been acting oddly suspicious for the time I've been with them today. They showed up at 1 PM and told me we were going out for lunch and ice cream.

I think Mom and Dad are planning a birthday party for me (if you read the letter to Noah, you'd know that...) but I'm not 100% sure. Harp was acting normal- which was weird- and Mom and Dad were acting weird- which was weird. Anyways. After we finished all of our things, we were done by about 3:00, and we drove back home. Alexa and Ben told me they had to go check on plants or something and went around to the backyard. I slowly walked up to the porch and opened the door. Everything looked normal- the lights were still on too. All of a sudden I walked forward, and boom, everyone was shouting "SURPRISE!!" and screaming. Mom and Dad walked towards me with a blue frosted cake and said, "Happy birthday, Nat." "And Noah." I whispered.