Balancing Act

40

It had taken Jess roughly a week to realize that if he wanted to make some changes he needed to start looking into his options sooner rather than later. Transferring his position to someone else meant that there needed to be a transition period and even before that could be started he needed to explore if Jenn even was willing to take over. This move felt like the least bit of a failure - it didn't feel like failing Truncheon, and while she wasn't perhaps exactly the type to lead a company, maybe with a course or two, and some support from Truncheon Philly, she could be.

He'd taken Jenn out for lunch at the small italian place just around the corner from the office, wanting to speak to her without interruptions.

"So how's Vera?" Jess asked casually about Jenn's spouse, after the waiter had taken their order involving the day's specials.

"She's good, she just went back to school actually," Jenn replied, placing her phone down on the table, giving him her full attention.

"Listen, I actually wanted to run something by you. You see, I've been considering taking some time and step back from management - I haven't decided anything yet - so I'm here just exploring your interest. If I were to do it it would probably mean you'd need to take a couple of courses yourself, from work time of course. I would pick up some of my old author's instead - I know Sandoval at least has been missing the fact that I don't really edit anymore," he explained, referring to one of the authors he used to handle.

"Honestly, I don't know what to say - I've never really pictured myself in that role," Jenn replied, brushing her hair behind her ears.

"It would definitely be a raise in income, some additional benefits," he tried to sell the idea. To be frank, as he spoke, he was more and more desperate to sell this idea to her. The alternative was one of junior editors or Noah or someone from outside - none of which he particularly liked to see as his successor.

"But wouldn't Noah exceed in experience? I wouldn't want to be stepping on his toes," Jenn worried.

"Not by seniority," Jess replied. This was what he had to go on - he knew Noah really wasn't a bad option but he was a bad option from his point of view. Given the fairly recent things he'd learned about him - he wasn't exactly objective and he'd tried to compare their resumes as objectively as he could - and seniority was one of the few factors Jenn had over Noah.

"Oh come on, the guy has been a department manager before... I don't think he'd be very happy if I were to just grab this opportunity from under his nose," Jenn exclaimed.

"Why are you so worried by what he thinks?"Jess inquired.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm a feminist through and through. If Vera has no objection to this idea, I certainly wouldn't. But I'm not sure how I'd be with him working under me - I'd probably feel like he's questioning my judgement or something," Jenn explained.

"Hell - I wasn't sure what I was doing in the beginning either. But sure - if you don't want me to suggest you to the HPG I could just leave it up to them to decide. Somehow as he spoke, every minute he was feeling more and more strongly about not wanting to be in his position anymore - he didn't want to worry about who was going to do the quarterly reports or to make sure the salaries were paid out on time, who was hired and who was fired - he just felt so exhausted from all this.

"Okay," Jenn sighed, "but only if the HPG agrees to it, and I feel I definitely could use some training," she added even without talking to her spouse. Jess could see it in her eyes that she did want the challenge, perhaps the added high from the self-realization this offered having given her the extra push.

Their food was then brought to the table.

"Good..., I'll talk to Huntzberger," Jess said as he cut into his ravioli and Jenn took a bit of her spring risotto.