Autumn is a beautiful but pensive poem that falling leaves recite with great enthusiasm so that the world will remember them as they bid farewell to the world. Welcome to my anthology series. Welcome to EQUINOX.
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".....And unfortunately, your job has been eliminated", said the HR Man in his "honestly, truly" tone.
These were the words that Jim heard but....they didn't make sense. How could they? How could they make sense to the 20 years he devoted? To the countless weekends he had to come in? To the significant projects he lead, including the talent pipeline that helped promote Mr. Honestly Truly. How could they?
All Jim could muster was a simple, "Oh."
And then Mr. Honestly Truly went into a monologue about severance, benefits, badge access but Jim didn't hear any of it. He just nodded.
When he got back to his cube, Jim's Slack channel was pinging like crazy. His office phone was ringing. Texts were coming in. But these sounds didn't register. Instead, he straightened his desk and packed his things up in a robotic manner. Like he was in a trance.
He walked the mile to the nearest train. Autumn trees overhead, casting a shadow across his face, like a veil.
--
Jim had always found peace in nature and so, one day, he found himself driving up to Asheville, NC. Turning onto Tremont Road, Jim saw his phone light up on the dashboard. His sister Jane was calling. Probably to invite him up for Thanksgiving with her family, he thought. He ignored the call.
Jim wasn't up for recounting what happened with his job and why. Because to be frank, he didn't know why, either. They just told him "cuts had to be made somewhere and it wasn't personal". But fuck that, it's not like they would really be honest. So now he was in limbo, like a bad breakup with no explanation, no closure.
The road became gravelly and he parked near a sign that read Middle Prong Trail. Jim got his camping gear and made his way to the trailhead, not realizing he left his cell phone behind.
--
"It's called the Blue Ridge Triangle", said one of the hikers to his friends, "People start seeing weird shit and get lost in these woods."
Jim walked on. He didn't have time to entertain nonsense. Particularly geographical areas that, in this case, were between Middle Prong Little River, Derrick Knob Shelter, and Elkmont Campgrounds.
Elkmont was where he was headed.
As he continued further, he felt a shift in the air. He paused and realized he hadn't seen another hiker in a while. There was a tree nearby whose branches formed the shape of a butterfly. That's kind of cool, he thought.
Up ahead, he saw a woman by the river. No way, it couldn't be.
"Sherry....", said Jim.
In another life, Sherry and Jim fell in love and were set to be married. But when he was offered a Director role in Atlanta, Sherry didn't want to move. And so, he chose the job.
Walking up to her felt intense. Jim didn't know what to say. Sherry was his sun and it had set a long time ago. No flame on Earth could have ever compared.
She turned toward him and threw herself in the water. Jim screamed and ran in to grab her. But the only thing he picked up was water. Sherry had disappeared like a ghost.
He looked up and the orange and golden trees of Fall rattled against the whistling winds.
--
Wet and shaken, Jim continued along the river, searching for a sign of Sherry. Then, he saw the butterfly tree again. Could he have been walking backwards?
Jim turned around and saw a little girl, holding a toy kitten. It was his sister Jane. Only she was 5 years old.
When they were kids, they had been very close. But over the years, they drifted apart. Different interests. Different friends. Even different schools. Eventually, they barely talked altogether, except for the holidays.
5-yr old Jane asked, "Jimmy, play with me, please?"
I'm seeing things, he thought. There's no fucking way. He bolted in the other direction.
Jim ran for a good 20 minutes. He had to have reached Derrick Knob Shelter by now. And there it was again. The butterfly tree.
"Impossible...", he said to himself. A few feet away, he saw a gravestone and open pit. He walked closer.
Jim felt a chilling jolt as he saw his own name engraved. Below it, was a single word: solus. Latin for 'alone'.
Jim staggered back, tripped, and fell into the open pit.
--
When Jim finally came to, he was floating. It was an odd sensation. He realized he was in someone's home. A little boy and girl came running in with a package of letters, yelling 'Mom!'. The letters looked familiar.
The children gave it to a woman sitting by a fireplace. It was Sherry. But this Sherry was a little older and a little shorter. But still just as beautiful.
Sherry smiled at the letters. Jim realized they were the love letters he gave her all those years ago. She kept them.
After pondering for a short while, tears flowed down Sherry's eyes and tossed them into the flames. Jim's heart sank.
He wiped his own tears and found himself in another house. This time it was Jane's. She was putting away groceries with her husband.
"I tried calling to invite Jim over for Thanksgiving but he ignored me. I could tell. It only rung twice before going straight to voicemail," she said, "I've tried for so long to keep him in my life but I think I'm finally done."
Jim felt awful. Life had passed by and what did he have to show for it? Sure, he had finally become a VP but that went up in smoke within a 15 minute office meeting.
Sometimes, when all is said and done, dreams scatter to the winds and fall back down like the last leaves of autumn. So now what? Who was he? Jim honestly had no idea.
But maybe that was okay. The not knowing. He had all the time to figure it out. To find new meaning. To begin again.
"Sir, are you alright? Sir, do you need help?", said a voice.
Jim gasped and opened his eyes. The hikers from earlier surrounded him. He looked around. No gravestone. No pit.
The hikers helped him to his feet. They walked the trail back and made sure he got to the parking lot safely. After thanking them for their help, Jim sat in his car for a moment.
He could still hear the rustling of the crinkled trees outside.
Jim saw his phone on the dash and swiped on the missed call.
"Hey sis, um, sorry about before, what are you up to? That's good. Me? I'm up in the mountains. A little lost. But slowly finding my way back."
