𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬

𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 #𝟒

Dear Astraea,

Love is an intriguing concept.

It took me two months to realize I was in love with you, Rea. I never admitted it. I was in denial. I was afraid of loving you. I never knew how to love someone. I was scared that I'd hurt you. Now here I am, damaging your heart. There are a lot of plans I wanted to fulfill with you. I expected to buy a house with you. I desired to raise a family with you. You'll be an exceptional mother one day, my love.

If you're reading this Astraea, we won't get our happy ending. Well, I won't get my happy ending, but you will. I know you, Astraea, and I would never want to hurt you. For a while, I felt myself healing. You stood by my side when I'd breakdown or had panic attacks. You were the person who knew me better than anyone in the world. You knew my story. You held me when I felt like letting go. You've been to every concert I've performed. You've sat by my side when I'd write music. You would even sing with me. I taught you how to play the guitar. I've spent the best years of my life with you. I couldn't imagine my life any different.

All I wish is that I could've been better for you. I knew my life was hopeless. I had internal scars that never healed. They continued to bleed out until I couldn't live anymore. I wouldn't want you to think I'm selfish. I love you more than anything in this world. I wanted to live for you, but I couldn't bare the loud voices corrupting my mind again. I didn't want you to watch me suffer anymore. I'm sorry. I wish I could've kept fighting. I tried. I saw your face in the hospital after my first attempt. You were scared, and I can't get the image of you sobbing next to me. Watching you cry hurts more than the scares that are killing me inside.

July 12th, 1997, was a memorable night. It was the first time I performed. It was also the first time I made love to you. I felt your soft skin on mine. I felt your lips trace down my body. I felt exceptionally in love with you, Rea.

It feels like we were teenagers in love yesterday. Now we're twenty-three. We've gone through a lot together. A year into our relationship, you had a miscarriage. You called me with tears in your eyes. I could hear your pain over the phone. It broke my heart to see you in pain. I held your hand through it all. When I saw you in the hospital, I felt a part of my heartbreak. The doctor told me you lost a lot of blood and needed to stay overnight to recover. Even when we left the hospital, you still weren't recovered. You didn't speak for almost a month. We stayed in the apartment for the first week watching movies and drinking hot chocolate.

I stood by your side. I never wanted you to feel alone. Even after you started talking again, you had nightmares every night. You would wake up with tears stained on your cheek. I'd hold you close to me. I rubbed your back as your head rested on my chest. I went to every appointment. I stood by your side when you had your first ultrasound. We had smiles plastered on our faces. Roman and Blaire flew from Milan to see us. It was also the Christmas season. We had just completed our midterms for college. It was also our first year living in America. Your godmother helped us out. We adapted quickly to the city. It became our home. We found a place that gave us never-ending comfort. I knew how badly the miscarriage affected us, so I adopted a kitten on your birthday the following year.

The smile on your face when I walked into the apartment complex will forever live in my mind. It was one of the happiest days of my life. It was the first time I saw you genuinely happy since the miscarriage. Your happiness and soft laugh began to heal the pain I had endured growing up. You were my medicine. I'll miss your laugh. I'll miss the morning when you'd tell me about the dreams you had that night. You never failed to make me smile and warm my heart. You'll always be my first and last love.

I love you, Astraea Alessiah Russo.

Take care of our cat Riz. Hug her for me.

(Tell human Riz I still haven't gotten over her naming our cat after herself. I'll love and miss you both.)

Sincerely Greyson Allori,

♫♫♫

These messages Greyson wrote to Astraea. There are twelve chapters and twelve Unread Messages. These messages are based on 2004 and the current chapter three is from 1992.

If you have any questions feel free to ask. <3

My heart is breaking for Greyson...

Chapter Five will be out on November 20th, 2022.