During our last year of school I got Appendicitis during exam week. I was hospitalized for a week and a bit as the doctors couldn't figure out that my appendix was about to burst. After 5 days and keyhole surgery they found my appendix with a cist on it ready to burst. While this was happening I was on heavy painkillers, fading in and out consciousness and having one hell of an ice cream craving. But the one thing that was good was the fact the Jak was there when she didn't have to be at school. No matter if I was asleep or awake she was there. She made me laugh even though it physically hurt to laugh. I didn't mind. I later found out that she comforted my mother while I went into surgery. I went under anesthetic in panic as I didn't want to loose control of the situation. I was scared of things I had heard about some doctors doing to people who had no control. Irrational fear but still.
Somewhere among all of this happening mum gave birth to my sister. She was cute to start off but after she got around 4 year old marker she was a right pain. mainly because she gets away with things I would have beaten for. Still to this day I get annoyed with things that she gets away with. At this point when I wasn't working I would be doing nursery or school runs for dad as he would be asleep and couldn't be bothered to do it. I was the at home carer if I wasn't at work. Can I also say I was working a warehouse job that was 12 hours a day for 4 days. I'd have 4 days on and 4 days off. the last thing I wanted to be doing was taking care of my siblings after that level of work at the age of 18. This would carry on for quite a while. I would also be nudged to watch the kids on the weekends instead of going out with friends.
This was the point of I came to the realization that I had feelings for my best friend. She always said she didn't get the whole relationship thing and I respected that and never asked. Over the next couple of years while we were at college I would break up with one guy I was dating and keep feeling the draw to Jak. So in my infinite wisdom I would find another guy to distract me. And for the best part of a year he did.
The guy in question we'll call Walter. Walter was a great guy that lived in a town just outside I lived and went to the same college as Jak and myself. I met him one day while I was out of my lesson due to getting bulling. We got to talking about random stuff till we talked about playing Overwatch and who our mains were. We kept talking about games and other things we enjoyed until he had to leave to catch his bus. I quite liked him and after he left I noticed a small paper crane left on my desk with a number on it. Yes that smooth bastard left his number on a paper crane for me. That was the cherry on the cake for me. after 2 weeks of hanging out we decided to date for a while. It was great for a while till like the last they wanted sex. Both him and my last knew my past as I tell them while we're friends to vet them before going the next step. To be honest I even say it to my friends as a vetting process as I don't want them to hang with me then drop me when they find out. I'm not good when I can't to some degree control the situation. Unless Jak's around then I'm fine. Anyways back to Walter. He was great up till he went off to do his basic training to join the Royal Air Force. When he was on leave and came home he expected me to drop everything and be available right then and there. Most of the time I wouldn't know if he was coming home till he was home. I know it's not really his fault but it was when he kept insisting for sex and I'd have to go with it as I was scared of disappointing him and letting him down because of my past. Even reading what I'm typing is hard because if it was anyone else I would tell them relationships are 2 ways. If hes not helping you then hes not right for you. I suck at taking my own advice. This would last for another 10 months before He would break it off. 2 weeks before he broke up with me he blocked me out of all the accounts we were in as he thought I was going to break up with him. After I confronted him he finally talked to me and we were back to normal...or so I thought. He was coming home as I was at a wedding with Jak as her father was getting married. I told him months ago about this and he still seemed to be upset about it. While we ere at the after party having drinks he called my phone but I was at the toilet. When I came back and texted him why he called me he said we should break up and just be friends. At that point I was already tipsy and wanted to throw my phone across the room. I walked out crying from the room and sat in the hall to the apartment. Jak came out asking why I was crying. I told her and she comfort me until I was ready to go back into the party. She told her dad what happened and everyone did their best to cheer me up. I got really drunk that night. Think my total was 4 gin and lemons, 3 vodka and lemonade, 4 shots of tequila and several other drinks. Thankfully the hotel was down the street that we were staying at and Jak escorted me back to our room when we were done. I couldn't really sleep that night as I was still in a lot of emotional pain. I loved him truly so it hurt like a bitch when he broke up with me. I would remain like that for at least 2 years until I would meet my last boyfriend. And that one's even worse than the rest of them.
