ILLICIT

CHAPTER I

After the call with Elliot, I didn'tknow how much time passed. Then dad came back from that cold dead room. He was back to being his strong self. A stronger, probably, and stiffer, like nothing can sway him anymore. If I told anyone about the mess he was in that cold room, I think that person would laugh at my face or snicker or call me delusional.

He sent me back home. When I asked about him, he said he'd stay there. Like he couldn't stand the thought of parting with mom. But i was exactly the opposite. I was glad to get out of there. I couldn't stand to stay there. I wanted to go back to home and pretend like evrything was alright.  Pretend like mom and dad was out on a dinner date and would come back at midnight and come again the morning, mom would be there in the middle of the dinning room, setting breakfast for us and doing her usual stuff.

The whole ride to home was silent. Dead silence. Dad was gritting his teeth, I could hear the sound of his teeth grinding. His jaw ticking. His eyes hard. His knuckles on the steering wheel white. And his glossy eyes.

I wanted to reach out and grasp his hand,comfort  him. But I also didn't.

The reality of my mom's death hasn't sunk in yet. Though I don't know how long I could pretend.

Dad dropped me at home and drove away. I stood there for a few minutes watching his car turning at the end of the street.

The house was dark. It stood there like a haunting dream. Our neighborhood was a good one. Nothing out of ordinary happens here. No burglary, no thief, no murder. Only normal deaths. Death. …and accident.

No. Don't go there!

Turning the key, i entered the house. Taking off my shoe, I put it in the shoe closet.  It has four sections for all four of us- me, dad, Elliot and mom's.  It was mom's idea. She says-no-used to say it keeps the house from getting dirty.

Entering the drawing room , I turned on all the lights of the house and also the lawn. A house shouldn't stay in dark, mom…used to say.
I climbed the stairs and went to my room. Flickered the light on. And then i realized i didn't have my school bag with me.

Did I leave it at school? No. I had it then.
Then Hospital? I think.
I'd have to call dad to remind him to bring it back later.
I went to washroom and took a shower. Then dried my hair and went to closet in search for clothes. My eyes went to the black hoodie that mom bought for me on her last shopping spree. I was yet to wear it. Taking it out, I got myself into it.
Then I went downstairs in search for food but  found myself moving towards the couch.
Folding my legs up, I stared at the wall. Mom had a plan for the wall. She was going through online shops and malls to find for the perfect shade of beige and blue to paint this wall. Dad probably could have done the whole searching, finding amd coloring within a few hours just by giving a call to a Home designer. But mom wanted to do it and dad wanted to do anything mom wanted. So the work was due on mom and she was going through shops even after a month later.

The wall clock ringed 12 at midnight and I couldn't belive i sat there for four hours. So i decided to wait some more.

                        *         *        *        *

A hand brushed my hair and i jolted out of my sleep. 
“Ari”, Elliot came home. He was here. Finally.
I looked at the clock, it was almost 2 in the morning. So slept for two hours.

Elliot's face came into my line of vision as he took a seat beside me. His hands still caressing my face. His eyes searching mine. Telling me its all going to be alright.

I just stared at him. I couldn't stop. I was in shock. Everything came crashing down. The phone call, the hospital, the cold room, the cold hand, mom's face, dad crying. I could feel my eyes burning. A wet drop escaping, rolling down my left cheek. Then right. A loud sob broke throgh me. The tears wouldn't stop coming out.
“Shhhh. I'm here now,love. I'm here now.“, he cradled me into his lap . His hands gripping me tightly to him. I could hear pain in his voice even as he was comforting me. I could hear his hearbeat like he came here running. I could hear him muttering soothing words to me.
He took me up the stairs, to my room without putting me down. I wanted to know how could he be so still strong when I couldn't find an ounce of it in me. He laid in bed with me still hiding in his arms, still sobbing like a pathetic and him, still muttering soothing words to me.

                       *         *         *         *

ELLIOT

When i got the call from Ari this afternoon I didn't know it would take such a turn in our life. I was hoping for normal casual hapoy banter with her. But then she said those words.
I need you.
These were the words I had been wishing my all life to hear from her but definitely not under this circumstance. The second she uttered those words, I knew something was wrong. So I took my keys that minute and left for home.

I could only think about her on all the way here. About how she was right now, was she crying or was she in shock. Maybe i was in shock too. Because I still couldn't belive mom was gone. She was young. She wasn't supposed to die this early.

I dropped by hospital knowing James will be there. He wouldn't want to leave his wife even in her deathbed. James was a personi looked up to. He was the perfect man in my definition. He love his family with his all. And doesn't fear to do anything to protect it. I knew it at the first glance when i saw him first time.

I was eleven years old when I saw them for the first time. James and mom came to our orphanage that day for adoption. I was on my way to get water for the dying plant in the backyard. And then I saw James , he was looking at one of the female caretaker with distrust in his eyes like he knew that nurse was sulking in her duties, flirting with the manager. Then Mom asked him something and he turned to look at her. And even i could see the adoration and the love he had for her in his eyes. He softened towards her. It was a new for me. I had never seen anyone look at anyone like that before then. Then they both looked at me and that sealed my fate.

And the next day , I met my fate.