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JOHN COLLINS point of view
"DECISIONS"
_
"Bro I'm just in a bad spot." I ranted to my teammate Trae as we got some shots up. He was in Cali for a couple days so we decided to link up and get some work in.
"You love her though?"
"Hell yeah man. I love that girl a lot— it's just. How the hell am I finna do long distance."
I'd be lying if I said I had faith in Dior and I's relationship. Long distance was one of those things I could not do.
"If you love her then it'll work out."
I took a deep breath as I watched my shot hit the front of the rim. "Bro I just don't wanna be unhappy."
"So you wanna break up with her?"
"I don't even know."
"Is it that or the fact that you don't trust her to be out here?"
"Man I trust her— Dior don't do dumb shit like that."
"So do you trust yourself?" He asked. "I know how you used to be."
"I changed for her bro. Ian talked to another girl since I met her." I honestly explained. Dior changed it all for me— I had some temptations a couple times, but when you got a girl like Dior you fight those urges.
"I hope so." Trae said. "But I think you need to sit down with her. Just talk things through man."
"I can't even do it— she gon cry and shit."
"I mean that's a natural response. You're finna be thousands of miles away from each other." He said.
I put the ball at my hip as I looked down at my feet. "You think I should break things off?"
"No."
"Ion want to either."
"Just see where her heads at."
"For sure." I nodded. "Aye so I noticed something the other day."
"What?"
"Jordan."
"Jordan who?"
"Poole."
"What about him?" Trae asked.
"I don't know bro- the way he was looking at Dior. That shit didn't sit right with me."
Jordan's stares were obvious, and kinda weird. I tried to brush it off but now it's bothering me.
"Ion think he'd do that. He has a girl." Trae said.
"That don't mean shit. We both know the shit Jordan be doing."
Trae nodded. "Yeah but obviously he knows Dior is Gary's cousin. She's gonna be off limits to him regardless."
"So you think I'm overthinking it."
"Yes. It'd be dumb for him to trying something. Especially with you and Gary being so close."
"Damn— you right." I nodded. "Aye let me go see my girl though. I gotta handle this shit."
"Goodluck."
_
"I think I'm gonna do a frontal install on myself." Dior said as she picked at her nails.
"Mmhm." I said, barely listening as I contemplated how to start the awkward conversation.
"You okay?" She asked as she turned to looked at me. We were sitting on her bed. I was laying down and she was sitting up.
"Yeah." I lied.
"Boy— I know you too well."
I took a deep breath before responding. "You think it's gon work?"
"What?"
"Us."
Her face went blank as she went back to picking at her nails, something she commonly did when she was nervous.
"John I really want it to work."
"I do too."
"I want us to be good. I know long distance is hard, but I think we can get through it." She said.
"I hope so."
"Do you not wanna do it?" She asked.
I glanced up and watched as her eyes became glossy, her ass is always so emotional.
"Dior don't cry man." I said as I sat up.
"I can't help it. You don't think it's gonna work."
"Can you blame me though?"
"So you wanna break up?" She asked.
"Why you tryna jump to that?" I asked.
"Is that not what you're getting at?"
"I don't wanna break up Dior, I just don't know what to do." I said.
She laughed a bit before turning to face me. "You don't have faith in us. That tells me what I need to know."
"D— cmon man. You know how hard long distance is."
"I do— but you at least try! You don't just walk away from it."
"Who said I was walking away Dior?"
"So then what are we doing?" She asked as her voice raised.
"That's why I came to you! To see what the fuck we were gonna do!" I shouted.
Her face softened. She's so fucking emotional.
"I'm sorry Dior, but this is a lot right now."
"I know." She sighed.
"And I got a lot to focus on."
Her eyes glanced up at me, visibility red and puffy.
"So do we just be friends?" She asked.
I blew out a deep breath as I rubbed my hand over my head. "I love you man, we should've planned ahead."
"We waited last minute to deal with this." She said as she gently intertwined my hand with hers.
"Yeah." I nodded. "So when I leave Friday. Am I leaving as your friend? Or your boyfriend?"
"We can still be like how we are now right? Just without the huge label of 'boyfriend' , 'girlfriend'?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Okay." She nodded before pursing her lips. "Friends, until we figure out what to do."
A part of me felt relieved, but the other part felt broken. I'm glad we resolved the problem, and I'm glad we're gonna be on good terms.
But being miles and miles away ain't gonna help.
I'm just praying no niggas out here think they're gonna swoop in and be her Superman.
