Perfectly Deceived

chapter twenty three

Breya

It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago I was entrapped in my own mind. Torturing myself to every sound and every memory of my past , every thought of my present and future.

Today I am traveling with wolves to see the very creatures I longed to live among. Every dream and imagined fantasy of freedom had been with humans. living myself as one of them Its strange that I am meeting them for the first time to gain closure. On a life I've never known or will ever know.

I wonder what my life is now or will be. I'm glad it's no longer at a stand still but I'd be lying If I said i wasn't afraid. Don't get me wrong I'm over being terrified all the time but it's impossible to shift a lifelong feeling in just a few weeks. I am trying to be braver.

'Everything ok breya?'

The welcomed pressure of the silver beast echoed in my mind. Reminding me I'm not alone anymore.

'Yeah just thinking '

My response was full of content I was starting to realise how much I enjoyed these feelings. The small freedoms like talking openly or walking around our make shift camp with no chains wrapped around my wrists. I enjoyed the fresh air with company rather than alone. Above anything else I was enjoying watching how the royal wolves interacted with each other.

Their was 6 in total with the silver beast. All of them left me alone for the most part. Giving me space which I appreciated. For the first time in my life I was witnessing how packs are supposed to be. The overwhelming fear I felt when I first saw them had dwindled to dust over the last few days.

I was expecting growling, snarling, hackles raised and teeth pinching. I couldn't help my go to anxieties when faced with so many at once. It was what I had been accustomed to for so long.

However everyday I was learning something new. Gaining a new understanding and witnessing it all for myself. It eased me Into the comfort I felt now. They worked together in everything they did their was a strong sense of unity between them all. They laughed at ease. There was no grumbling or agitation. Their beast's almost seemed placid, disiplined . Yet ruthless and strong.

A smile speard across my face as I watch the beast's emerge from the trees some in wolf form some in human. The wolves carried their prized catches of food in their jaws. While the humans gathered wood and set up our camp for the night.

I was usually with the king but tonight I had found a new kind of confidence as I watched and waited for an opening. I was to afraid to directly ask if I could help. The silver beast stood at the edge of the camp his ears trained up listening to everything. I made me uneasy at how tense he seemed.

Just as I thought my opportunity might never come one of the wolves in human form who's  name i think was Jordan stumbled over a rock with the two buckets of water he was carrying. I rushed as quickly as my weak legs would allow me to his aid. My opening didn't go to plan atall I didn't want someone to get hurt in the process.

"Are you alright?"

I quickly asked my voice breathless with breath bit of exercise I did getting over here.

The entire camp fell silent, my gaze quickly found every pair of eyes that were trained on me. Even the king had spun his head at the sound of my voice. I quickly realised my hands were trembling in response to unwelcomed attention. I tried hard to force myself to stay calm. 'No one's going to hurt you breya they are all just surprised' I scolded myself.

Reaching my hand out to stunned Jordan beneath me I was relieved when he took it and offered me a smile in appreciation. If he noticed my trembling hands he didn't say anything. His giant hand engulfed mine gently as he pulled himself to his feet. I quickly felt embarrassed as I realised he probably wasn't hurt atall and certainly didn't need my help to jump to his feet.

"Thanks, you didn't need to help me though..

"I know sorry I just wanted to help and I thought if ..

His eyes lit up in understanding and again he gave me a small smile along with a nod.

"Why don't you help me with dinner tonight?"

His voice was gentle as he spoke and I gave him a confident nod as we began our short walk to the camp fire. I noticed how careful his steps were and that his pace matched my own. I was nervous as I wasn't the best cook considering my lack of experience. Yet I felt excitement bubbling inside me as we sat on the camp chairs by the fire.

The wolves began moving again and gently they approached I watched as they lingered with uncertainty as they approached me with their catches. I understood this must be strange for them considering I'd never spoken a word to them before. So I decided the first step had to made by me.

"Its ok im not afraid I was hoping maybe we could all eat together tonight I mean if you all want to of course you don't have ..

My hands messed nervously with the hem of my shirt as the wolfs kind brown eyes peirced my own. I could see the surprise in his eyes as he stood frozen. With blood coating his mouth from the rabbit that lay there. I watched as his eyes moved from me to the king.

'Are you sure breya'

I could hear the surprise and uncertainty in his voice but I turned to look at him with a smile and nod to confirm. He gently gave a nod of his head and the wolf approached me he dropped the rabbit at my feet and gave a soft bow of his head before heading back to the shadows of the trees. The other two wolves did the same and all of them emerged in shorts.

Jordan gave me a huge smile that held youthful excitement and I felt my own heart raise as excitement filled me. I couldn't believe what I was doing and how good it felt to sit with people and be a part of their conversations while we ate. It was wholesome and welcoming and filled me with hope. If I could do this I could do anything. 

Every step I took was another step away from my old life from the old isolated me.