Ethereal Dreams

november 23

Every so often when Beau can't see, I have to stop what I'm doing to bend over and breathe. God, these Braxton Hicks contractions are fucking killing me. Not to mention my feet are swollen so it hurts to stand and this eight pound baby in my stomach is not going easy today on the kicking.

But will I admit that to him? Hell no or else he'll order me to sit down like he has the last seven fucking hours of my day. I may be in pain now but it was even worse when I was lying in bed doing nothing.

Since my mom flew in, the coddling has gotten a million times worse. She knows everything there is to know about medical care and her daughter is pregnant. It's like living with my doctor, while also factoring in unnecessary panic about every little thing. I've become a prisoner in my own apartment.

So imagine their surprise when I offered– no, insisted on making dinner for us tonight. They thought the idea was absurd, having a pregnant woman on the verge of giving birth in the kitchen making lasagna, but I swore if I had to watch one more rerun of Criminal Minds I was going to go insane. Plus only I knew the recipe to Beau's favorite dish and he fucking loved it. How could he say no?

It's been a tough hour pretending I was perfectly fine with them watching me like hawks. If I showed so much as a grimace they both would have put me back down on bed rest whether or not the lasagna was cooked.

I felt another stabbing pain in my lower stomach while I was tossing the salad. Only this time, Beau was behind me washing the dishes I'd left in the sink. He heard me take a deep inhale and turned around instantly. "Are you okay?" he asks and immediately reaches for me. I'm in so much pain for those few seconds, I couldn't even stop him if I wanted to.

It felt like someone was driving a knife into my stomach and back all at once, but for the sake of my freedom, I had to act like I wasn't bothered at all. "I'm fine," I force a grin onto my face, "your baby is just really heavy these days."

Heavy on the assaults on my insides, that's for sure. "Means she's getting strong. Just like her mum," he coos, gently tapping my nose before resuming his task.

By then the contraction has passed and I can continue on too. I check the temperature on the lasagna to make sure it's cooled down before I grab the things needed to set the table. "Babe, could you check on the garlic bread?" I requested on my way out to the dining room. In reality, my belly has made it increasingly hard to do things, especially bend down to the oven. So rather than pulling myself through that again, I have Beau for that.

I put the plates down in their respective places. And the forks, and the cups, and the knives.

I stop mid-reach when I feel what I can only describe as a tug between my legs, followed by a warm trickle.

Has Arabella really taken up that much space that I've lost bladder control? I look down to the growing puddle at my feet and panic sets over me.

"Uh, Beau," I say confusedly at first. It isn't impossible that my water broke, but Arabella's due date isn't for another few days. I thought I had more time. "Beau!" I call out slightly louder. My voice quivers as I feel another contraction coming on. I squeeze my eyes shut, this one is definitely stronger than the last. Beau quickly rushes to my side, asking numerous questions.

"My water broke," is all I can give for one strangled out answer.

As if she could sense it, my mother runs into the room with my hospital bag slung over her shoulder and Beau's car keys in her hand. "Come on, we have to get you to the hospital," Beau says, starting to fill with panic.

But the contraction wouldn't let me move. "Wait," I push out.

"Jo, we can't-"

"Wait!" I huff in finality. Once the pain finally subsides, I nod quickly, "Okay, now we can go." Beau grabs the first pair of shoes he can find, which in this case are my pink bunny slippers, and puts them on my feet. He holds me on the entire way out as a precaution.