Your Sweater (RitsuMao Angst)

Your Sweater

"I can have Maa~kun's sweater?"

"Mhm! You always ask to borrow my clothes, so take this. It looks better on you than me anyway."

~~~~~

The pale boy watched as his breath turned into a tiny cloud in the cold winter morning. He normally went to sleep at sunrise, but earlier that day, his childhood friend had called to hang out at the ice rink.

'Fufufu~ A date with Maa~kun at the rink. Maybe I can impress him with my skating. I'm wearing the sweater he gave me, too.'

Arriving at the rink, Ritsu quickly paid the admission fee and sat down at the nearest bench to tie his skates that he already owned. Seeing that it was relatively empty, he smiled since it would allow him to not have to deal with accidentally bumping into someone and talking to them. He never enjoyed that. His social anxiety always made him panic, so he'd just mutter an apology and skate away. Mao was the only person that could make Ritsu feel at ease while at unfamiliar places. Whenever Ritsu needed to talk to a stranger, Mao would hold his hand and remind him that everything was okay.

Although Mao should have been there by then, he didn't mind since it would give him extra time to warm up. The actual ice rink was colder, but Ritsu was unaffected. After all, he was wearing his favourite sweater.

Half an hour passed and still no sign of his friend. Ritsu was starting to get worried. Catching a glimpse of red hair at the edge of the rink, all his worries dissipated and he excitedly glided over. "Maa~ku-," he stopped short when he noticed a short brunette standing next to Mao.

"Hey, Ritsu! Sorry I'm late. I picked up Anzu since I wanted her to be safe on the way here." Mao explained.

Oh.

Ritsu's heart dropped. "Maa~kun, it was supposed to be a date; just you and me~" Ritsu said in a joking manner.

"Huh?" Mao questioned.

"Nothing."

The redhead gave him a confused look, but stepped onto the ice. Both of them saw Anzu struggling to skate an inch. Embarrassed, she explained that it was her first time skating. "Here, take my hand! I'll help you!" Mao smiled, extending his hand.

Ritsu felt a pang in his heart. He wanted to hold Mao's hand too. Not just to hold it, but to be the only one holding it. Trying to brush it off, the vampire started to skate off without them. When asked why he wasn't skating with them, he teased them and said that they were too slow.

He continued to skate. Lap after lap, oval after oval. Looking over, he saw that Mao and Anzu had begun skating at a slow but decent pace. Suddenly, the girl stumbled. In an attempt to catch her, Mao reached for her with his other arm only to get dragged down as well. Ritsu worriedly skated over and asked if they were alright. Both of them just sat there before making eye contact and bursting out with laughter. Ignoring Ritsu's question, Mao got up and helped Anzu to her feet.

Ritsu could feel his eyes welling up. Hurriedly, he skated off the rink.

~~~~~ Mao's POV

Sudden movement caught my eye. It was Ritsu, and something seemed off. He was quickly skating away. 'Was Ricchan in front of me just now?'

I quickly excused myself. Anzu didn't seem to mind, and something about her gaze told me that she understood I was in a hurry. I looked left and right, running around everywhere, but I was slowed by my skates. I quickly untied them and returned them to the employee since they were rentals and not ones that I owned like Ritsu's.

After searching every part of the building that I was permitted to enter, I was about to give up when I caught a glimpse of Ritsu sitting outside through the glass door.  "Ritsu!" I called out, running to him. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he said, attempting to smile but failing.

Upon closer inspection, there were tears on his face. "It's clearly not nothing if you're crying," I said. "Come on, Ritsu. I know something's wrong."

"Don't try to act like you know me!" he exclaimed angrily.

I didn't know what to do. Ritsu always did this. He'd clearly be upset, say it's nothing, then get mad when I tried to probe. He seemed to be in so much pain, even behind that anger. "So what's with you and Anzu, huh?" Ritsu said dryly.

"Is this about her? Is that it?" I asked.

He didn't respond and instead, went back to putting his head in his arms while curled up on the seat. After a short while, Ritsu said, "Is she your new favorite person or something?"

"Ritsu, you know that you're the most impor-" I was cut off by him.

"Do I, though? Do I? If so, why is it that I still feel a sinking feeling when you smile with her? Why do I get so jealous when you express your care for her? Why do you always sound so much more genuine with her? Why do you talk to her so much and ignore me in the process?" he desperately said.

Seeing him break and tell me his feelings for once, I was left stunned. I opened my mouth, but no words escaped.

~~~~~ Ritsu's POV

I sat and watched Maa~kun, speechless from my sudden outburst. "You like her, don't you?" I asked.

I didn't want the answer. I already knew it even though I didn't want to. From the moment she came into his life, I had lost my spot. I was no longer the most important person to him. He likes her more than me. I'm not his favorite person. She beat me.

Seeing him nod in silence was all I needed before breaking down.

We must have been out for a long time. Anzu found us, and I wiped my face so that she wouldn't be able to see the tears. "Are you guys alright?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, "We were both about to start heading home."

She made an expression that said 'ohhh' and turned to Mao.

"Do you need your sweater back, Isara?"

I ran. I ran and refused to slow down. Arriving at my house after a few minutes, I dashed upstairs. I stopped as I saw myself in the mirror. I looked hideous. My appearance was so revolting that I wanted to cry even more.

I hate myself.

Taking off my sweater, I threw it across my room. I wasn't special. I should have known. He's never looked at me like that before.

No matter how much I'm jealous of her, I can't hate her. She's akin to an angel. She's pretty, kind, helpful, understanding, and so much more.

So much more than I'd ever be.