𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞| 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝖼𝗎𝗌 𝖻𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗋

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

( 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽? 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗅𝗒 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝖾𝗋 )

Trigger Warning: mentions of panic attacks, derealization (not feeling real or anything around you is real)

GWEN FELT PRESSURE. She felt it everyday, sure, but it was normal pressure, wake up early, get dressed, get to school early to ask teachers for help, blah blah blah. Get home, do homework until dinner is ready, talk to her mom about grades and school and her list and Yale.

Yale was the university for her. Yale was the ticket out of here. Yale was the dream for her mother. Yale was the thing that was going to make everything work. Even hour and second of schooling, tutoring, work, tears, stress, hurt, worth it.

So here she was. Sitting at her desk, leg bouncing, pencil tapping her paper over and over again. Gwen's eyes being clouded with tears as she couldn't even look at her paper. She falling again. Falling into the cycle.

The pressure was getting too much again. The feelings being bottled up was beginning to break. Everything was cracking. Everything was too much. Gwen couldn't breathe.

Gwen began to hyperventilate. She backed away from her chair and closed her eyes. "Calm down" Gwen said through shaken breathes.

Her leg bounced more and more. Her breathe began to get more shallow. Her body was shaking. Everything around her was like it wasn't real. Nothing felt real. Her body, her desk, her room. Everything felt like it was an out of body experience.

"Gwen?" She heard through her room. She stood up and looked over to see Marcus. "Gwen" He said softly and she smiled at him, but he could see she was shaking.

"H-hi" She struggled out. "Um, what are you uh, what're you doing here?" She asked as she began walking around.

"Gwen" He said again and approached her slowly. "I'm going to touch you okay?" He asked and her breath went too shallow. She began dry heaving. Her lungs not getting enough oxygen, her insides were curling, her skin was crawling. It was like her soul was trying to get out.

"Marcus" Her breathed out as she stoped walking and looked everywhere but him.

"I know" He said softly and touched her arm, she flinched at the touch.

"I um" She couldn't even make out a sentence. All Marcus could do was try and help.

"I know" He whispered and finally wrapped his arms around her.

"Please make it stop" She said as she began to cry. Her body still shaking, her breaths still shallow, everything still not feeling real.

"Gwen" He said in her ear and gently brought her to her bed. He sat them both down, his arms never leaving her body.

"Marcus I'm scared" Gwen breathed out and he gently let her go, but kept one arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay, I'm here now" Marcus assured.

"I can't breathe" She said and he began taking deep breaths