Pandora's Hope

Ok, but Not Really

Hoseok is beside himself. He's angry, sad, frustrated, scared, anxious, and so fucking fed up with everything.

No one is talking anymore. Namjoon can't give any more updates on the investigation. Jin knows just as little. Nari has been under Leo's close eye to the point where she can't even go out on Sundays like she normally does.

The color in Hoseok's skin is fading. The brightness in his smile is dim. He doesn't even provide his own sound effects to his daily activities as he always does. His weight is decreasing and it's starting to show. More than he realizes.

It isn't until Thursday night when Nari finally breaks down and cries at the sight of him that he realizes how much he has stopped caring for himself. She wouldn't serve him alcohol all night and frequently urged him to go home and get some rest.

Once she closed the bar and began cleaning up she dropped everything and broke into tears. Hoseok rushed to her aid holding her tightly in his arms.

"Hobi," she cries into his chest. "You look awful."

"What?" He asks.

"You're not taking care of yourself. I can tell you're not eating or sleeping, babe I'm worried about you." She squeezes his torso tightly letting her tears soak through his shirt. "I know you're worried about me, I know, but please, my Hobi, you have to take care of yourself."

He looks down at her and he can see the pain spilling from her eyes. He knows he hadn't taken care of himself the way he should, but he didn't care. In his eyes he needed to take care of her more than he needed to take care of himself.

"Please take tomorrow off," she begs. "Don't come here all weekend. You need to take care of yourself."

He wants to push back. He's fine. So he thinks. She could just be overreacting. She's been stressed herself with Leo keeping a much closer eye on her, and trying to spend as much time with her as possible. Maybe she's just emotional right now.

He can't fight her though. He can't push back when she looks at him with tears in her eyes. He can't say no to her pleading. He can see how much she cares about him and for once he realizes he needs to put as much care into himself.

"Don't cry, love," he says wiping the tears from her face. "I'll try to take it easy."

"Please eat."

"I will."

"And get plenty of sleep. Drink lots of water and relax in a warm bath with lots of bubbles," she says. "Please, Hobi. I don't like seeing you like this."

"I know. I thought I was doing ok."

"You look sick, babe."

"I guess I wasn't doing as good as I thought."

"You're not. Go home, ok?"

She gives him one more squeeze and kisses him. He doesn't want to let her go but he can't hold on to her forever. He wipes another tear from her cheek and promises once more to take time off and rest.

When he gets home he lays across his bed and wonders how he let himself get to this point. He knows it's been hard for him to sleep lately, and maybe he's skipped a meal here and there, but how did it get so bad so fast? Bad enough to bring Nari to tears. That's the part that breaks him the most.

He can't stand to see her upset. He never wants to be the reason that she's upset. Never again. Just before drifting off to sleep he tells himself that he has to do better. He needs to be strong for her and he can't do that if he's not taking care of himself.

The next morning he does just as Nari said and takes the day off from work. He makes himself a strawberry smoothie and draws a bubble bath, then puts a mask pack on his face for added relaxation from the cucumber scented serum. He allows himself to soak a while clearing his head and sipping his smoothie. He lets his muscles relax and tries to keep his mind focused on nothing at all.