Letters to Death

I had only looked up for a second. Why was he looking at me? Knowing my luck, I would be the one to get in trouble… not him. I hastily went back to sewing, trying to push the dangerous incident behind me.

But I could still feel his eyes burning holes into me. Maybe if I ignored long enough then the dictator’s servants will notice and arrest him. Through my veil of hair I looked through to see if the man was still staring. He was. Did he want to be caught that badly?

I looked to the opposite direction—the dictator’s servants stood erect by the doorway but didn’t have their eyes on me. I grabbed a piece of parchment and a pen from inside my blouse and began to scribble down a small note:

You’re going to get us both in trouble! Mind your business and leave me alone before we’re both arrested!

Glancing at the servants, I flicked the parchment across the floor to the man. He subtly picked it up and read it. He laughed silently before I heard a small scuffle of feet behind me. I turned my eyes to the servants but they had paid no attention to the man’s laugh.

I looked back to the mysterious, troublesome man to find that the parchment was back with some new writing on it:

I would rather die than mind my own business and leave you be. I’ve been in love with you for years. I felt like it was finally time to speak my heart.

I felt warm butterflies swarm within me. No one had ever expressed the feeling of being “in love” to me. For the first time I meaningfully stared at the man who loved me. I took the pen and wrote back:

Who are you?

He dropped his head to conceal his smile as he discreetly wrote back to me. His reply came as quite a surprise:

I know where you live. At midnight tonight I will be in your backyard. Meet me there.

Eyes wide and heart beating much faster than usual, I nodded very slowly.

Someone cleared their throat and all breathing ceased to await commands from the servants.

“It is now nine of the clock at night. Now return to your homes. Absolutely no eye contact, no talking, no laughing, no smiling, no anything towards one another. Any sort of communication to another man will result in both people being hanged by the neck at dawn tomorrow.”

The occupants in the room rose from the floor and left the room in a single file line, heads hung to avoid contact with someone else. Every now and then there would be a struggle as a servant would tackle men, women, or children who had done something “wrong” and take them to the holding cell where they would await their death the next morning.

I sat in my cubicle-like house with all the lights out. I hid behind a shade of my window to look for the man. My clock read 11:58. I was nervous, that was for sure. I had never done anything so daring as this before. There were watchmen everywhere ready to arrest people in time for the morning hanging.

A quiet buzzing sounded and I knew without looking that it was midnight. I prayed to the lord that all would go well as I silently walked out of the house and through the dew-covered yard. I saw movement in the darkness from behind the tree. I approached the dark figure cautiously…

I hadn’t had time to get a word out when I felt someone’s lips upon mine. I didn’t resist—I hadn’t felt something this good in nearly ten years. His fingers combed through my hair and my hands had a grasp on the collar of his shirt.

Both of our shirts were off in less than a minute and he began to leave a trail of kisses down my neck, the center of my chest, stopping at my bellybutton. I felt a heated spark between my legs… something I’d never felt, but I liked.

Then it was over. A light was shone upon us. Men had us cuffed as he and I struggled to get back to each other…

The morning was cold and unforgiving. They didn’t give us our shirts back. The rope was rough on my neck. The last thing I saw was his apologetic face… then it was all gone…