Behind the Curtain [Seo Changbin ff]

47

The mood had lightened up considerably, the dinner being accompanied by happy chatting about random topics, mostly concerning the places he wanted to visit once he would have graduated.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him, his perfectly styled hair, his pink lips, his brown irises... and that neckline... it was very exposing to a sense, showcasing his perfect skin and collarbones almost teasingly.

My stomach stirred every time he would smile, laugh or even just look at me, my cheeks tinting red.

But I couldn't pinpoint that feeling. It was similar to how I had felt for that girl, which terrified me to death. However, it was also very different. With Hyunjin I felt free, I never felt uneasy or uncomfortable. I felt like I could be myself without being judged, I always felt on sky nine.

He was now rambling about school, insisting on how much he despised math, but I was not listening to him anymore, too preoccupied with my own feelings.

- Hyunjin? - I cut him off.

- Yes? Are you okay, Min? - His worried eyes made me melt instantly.

- Y-Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something. -

- Sure, tell me. - He smiled warmly, once again placing his hand on mine.

- How do you feel when you're with me? -

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, probably not expecting me to ask such thing.

- W-What do you mean? I love you, Min, you know that. -

- Yes, I know, but... how is the feeling? -

I needed to know.

I needed to know whether what I felt was the same he felt for me, something that he called "love". Before doing anything else with him and try to think of even dating I needed to make sure that we were on the same line.

I was overthinking for a good reason: it was the first official date of my life, in a crazily fancy place, with the most handsome person in the whole world, not to talk of the fact that he was a boy, while I thought I was straight for most of my life.

It all made me so nervous that I needed some kind of reassurance. I needed to hear from him what he felt.

He stopped breathing for a second, clearing his throat before speaking.

He had never explicitly told me how he felt whenever he was around me, simply limiting himself to saying how much he appreciated and loved me.

- W-Well, I don't really know how to explain it... I'm at ease around you, and my heart skips a beat every time you speak, your laugh is the cutest... - He smiled at his own words, a very prominent blush creeping up his face. - I wish I could hold you and hug you forever, I want to spend every single second of my life with you... -

He sighed, looking away nervously, his hands scratching his thighs as he avoided my gaze with all of his might.

- A-And I don't know, I feel like you are different from everybody else. You are prettier, cuter and gentler than anybody I have ever met. You bright my day up. If I feel low, I know that seeing you can make me feel better... and I'm relaxed when I'm with you. Sometimes I think I can only breathe if you are around me. - He chuckled, staring down for a second before raising his hand to meet my eyes.

His eyebrows furrowed in worry after seeing my state.

- M-Min, why are you crying? -

Oh shit, was I crying? I was too focused on his words that I didn't even noticed the tears trailing down my cheeks.

Why was I crying?

- I-I don't know... - I sniffled, chuckling and wiping away the wetness from my cheeks. - I've never felt so loved before, Hyunjin... I'm so happy... -

This time, it was my turn to look away from embarrassment.

- A-And some things you said are true for me as well... -

It was a big lie.

Everything he had said was true to me as well.

I met his eyes, which sparkled under the dim light of the restaurant. He looked at me expectantly, wanting me to continue, but I couldn't bring myself to.

- God, you are too pretty for me, Hyunjin. - I chuckled, shaking my head in dismissal and chugging down the last bit of the champagne I had in my glass.

He kept on staring at me as if he had seen a ghost, pale as ever.

- Hyunjin? Are you okay? - I asked, snickering.

He cleared his throat, regaining some composure.

- Y-Yeah, I'm good. - He cleared his throat again, avoiding looking at me. - Do you want to go? -

I chuckled at his shyness, replying with an endeared smile.

- Sure, where do you want to go? - I asked, collecting my things as we made our way to the register.

- I don't know, do you have a place in mind? -

I pondered our options for a little while, immediately thinking of a place closeby which made me feel comfortable.

- What about your studio? I like it there. - I smiled warmly at him, seeing how happy it made him that I found his studio comforting.