Losing You Finding Me

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This marriage is so hard harder than I expected to be not gon lie I dont know why but when we first got married I thought we would live this happy life I knew bad days would come but overall we would both be happy

This marriage shit get real tricky especially when two people have different two totally visions on their one life together

I wanna believe me and Devante will make it I really do but a lot of times I just dont know and that scares me

I don't wanna let us fall apart but I also don't want to be someone else's puppet

Im so much more than that

Im so much better than that

Right now I would be sad but Ive been sad too many times over this nigga before 

And its hard to feel bad when you know your doing whats best for you

I bdrank champagne in first class I get to New York and bodied my audition

I was so confident in myself even if I don't get the part Im proud of me for choosing me once

Im just tryna reach my full potential I wish he would understand that

As Im in my hotel suite getting ready for Lawrence to take me out to dinner to celebrate my first audition I checked my phone no missed calls no did you make their safe texts no I love you post on ig nothing

I really only got cute because we in New York baby Hello ! New york was definitely fly shit only vibes I mean after all some of the coldest bitches are from New York right ?

I got myself together honey It took some hours but as I stared in the mirror its definitely worth the while because I looked so damn good

Outfit is fitting face is prettying and my body is bodying

Skin silky like a good bonnet

Lets just be honest I look like a million dollars right here

He arrived in a car service

He got out and opened my door

"Goddam you look so good"He said amazed

I blushed and said "Thank you"

"No baby thank you for wearing that shit "he said eyes looking like they were finna pop out his sockets

We get to this really expensive steak house he bought me a nice bottle of wine

"look at these prices they're crazy"He said looking at the menu

"Eww you rich why you even looking at the prices"I said

He laughed and said "I just became rich excuse me for not wanting to blow it all up in here"

"Its worth the money I mean look at your entertainment for the night"I said

He looked at me and said "Your right about that"

"So Are you excited for your show its coming to life"I said

"It feels a little unreal right now Ive been dreaming about this for so long Im still processing everything but how about you you feeling good you had your first audition and you did so good"He said

"Yea I did that...I've really wanted to act since I was little girl while most kids were watching Nickelodeon I was watching Menace to society,love & basketball,Boomerang"I said

"Its an Art to acting to take a character and bring it to life .....I want to win an Oscar and be one of the greatest a Halle berry or a Viola Davis  a Kerry Washington"I said

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