Cursed

Chapter 18: Nightmares

I head down the stairs to make breakfast as I listen to the sound of little feet running around in Everleigh's room. I smile with a shake of my head as I hear a soft giggly squeal. Ev has been great since Mary and Brandon brought Tyler home by helping to keep Jamie involved in everything. My sweet girl never wants anyone to feel left out.

As I enter the kitchen, I find Mason already there with his head on the island. I stop and stare for a few seconds, my gut clenching unsure of what I'm about to walk into.

"You alright?" I ask as I move to stand beside him. Tentatively I reach up and place a hand on his back, but he jumps and his head shoots up to look at me. The fear in his eyes startles me so much that before I even think I frame his face with my hands. "Mason?"

"Shit," he whispers as he relaxes into my hold. "Sorry, Red." I raise my eyebrows as I wait for him to continue. "I didn't sleep well last night. I kept having nightmares and then I didn't want to wake you up with my tossing and turning so I just came downstairs," he explains as he leans further into my touch.

"Why didn't you just wake me? How often has this been happening?" I whisper as I step closer to him. He shouldn't have to go through this on his own. I'd rather lose a bit of sleep to him sort through the shit going on in his head than have him stuck in his head by himself. I've lost plenty of sleep over the last four years with Everleigh so it wouldn't be anything new to me.

"Because you are already taking on so much with the pack and then taking care of Everleigh I do not want to burden you with my shit."

"Stop," I say firmly as I shake his head slightly with my hands. "You. Are. Not. A. Burden to me. You are my mate and there is nothing that you need to handle on your own. I don't like you dealing with this on your own."

"Alaina," he whispers and I can see the battle raising in his eyes so I continue before he can.

"No, Mason," I say. "I have been the person that tried to deal with everything on my own and do you know where that got me? It made things worse. I thought I'd deal with my mother being beaten on my own and that ended with me beating Robert nearly to death because I let it build and build until I lost control. You cannot bury what you're dealing with and let it fester until you lose control because we can't afford you losing control right now."

"I know, Red, I know."

"Do you, Mason?" I ask, letting some frustration leak into my voice. "How long have you been having trouble sleeping?"

"Not long, just the last week or so," he whispers. I sigh and let my eyes fall closed as I try to process this without snapping at him. He's been through a lot and he's only been home for a little over three months so I know it's still an adjustment for him.

"Okay," I nod my head as I look back at him, "from now you wake me up. I'd rather be tired the next day instead of you suffering alone." He nods his head and I can't help but lean forward to press a hard kiss against his lips. I feel him relax under my touch. When I pull away I rest my head against his and whisper, "What was it that woke you up?"

He sighs and pulls away so I let my hands slide down to his neck as I wait for him to find the words. "Sometimes it's what I went through these last four years stuck in that room. Sometimes it's me in the room but instead of torturing me, I have to watch them torturing you."

"Which was it last night?" I utter.

"Neither," he says, "it was different. It was like I was seeing what was to come. I could see myself standing beside Dynea and no matter how much you begged me, I just stood there. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything but watch you standing there. Dynea suddenly ordered me to go kill you, and it was like I was a robot because even as I tried to stop myself, I walked right up to you and snapped your neck," he trails off as a stream of tears falls from his eyes. I inhale shakily as I feel the sting of tears in the back of my throat. "I... I just couldn't stop myself. She was in my head and everything that makes me who I am was locked away just enough that I could do nothing but watch. Then I woke up and you were lying beside me so peacefully asleep that I couldn't breathe. I couldn't wake you and tell you what I'd just witnessed in my head," he sniffles as he shakes his head.