𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬

𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 #𝟏𝟐

Dear Astraea,

Welcome to my last message to you, my love.

I promised you I'd put my vows to you in this last message. I've tried to hold back the tears in my eyes. I've torn and crumbled hundreds of papers trying to come up with the right words to say goodbye. Last night while you were asleep, I let it out without you seeing the pain in my eyes. I spent six hours writing my vows to you, the promise I plan to keep in life and death.

Astraea Alessiah Russo.

I've waited for this day for seven years, our wedding day. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I wish I could be your husband. I wish I could wake up beside you every day. I've watched you grow into such a strong woman whom I wanted to marry. Since we were eleven, I knew you'd have me wrapped around your heart. You were my first and only love. I've dreamt of this day since you said yes at the concert two months ago. We were so thrilled to get married. We may not have been married, but you've never failed to care for me in sickness and health. You are my everything, and I will watch over you and our daughter. You two will always be my favorite girls. I'll miss you both.

Today is one of the most important days of our lives. It's our wedding day, and I wish I could stand at the altar and watch my beautiful bride walk down the aisle. Our song is playing, and that beautiful smile is plastered across your face. At our rehearsal dinner last night, you and I rehearsed how the ceremony would go. I watched you walk down the aisle in a tight deep red dress that fell just above your knees. Your curly hair fell just past your shoulders. You looked beyond beautiful. I felt tears consume my eyes. I fell in love with you again, even though it wasn't our wedding. I held your hand. I kissed your lips the same way I planned on doing it today. I wrapped my arms around your waist and dipped you close to the ground. I whispered, "I love you, my angel." The smile on your face made my heart race. I saw your pure happiness and felt selfish for leaving you. I felt selfish for hurting you. I'd be a hypocrite if I continued to believe I'm selfish. I used to tell you that taking care of yourself isn't selfish. You've reminded me that our love for each other is strong enough to always live inside us, even in death.

Loving you is the part of life I enjoy more than anything. I wish I could be there when you publish our story. I'll be there in spirit with my arm wrapped around you. Since I won't be here, I'll tell you, I'm proud of you, my angel. You have accomplished so much. You'll continue to flourish in this life. Don't let my death pull you down. Hold yourself strong. You will forever be my Rea. I love you always. Continue to sing for me, Rea.

Goodbye Rea. I'm sorry, my angel.

Rea. Writing these vows took a lot out of me. I cried till my eyes were bloodshot. I eventually took some pills to calm myself down. I felt like a part of me was dying, and I couldn't save myself. I wish I could've been better for you. I'm sorry I failed you, Rea.

Lastly, before I say my last goodbye, I want you to tell our little girl I'll always love her. You and I spent a couple of weeks deciding on names. I thought the name Althea would be beautiful. Althea Russo. I thought you'd want my insight in case you can't decide.

I wrote a letter for our daughter when she grows up. I want her to choose when she's ready to read it. I wrote it two weeks ago. It was when the suicidal thoughts consumed my mind again. I was afraid I'd leave you. I wanted to explain myself to our daughter so she wouldn't hate me for leaving too soon.

I won't include the letter here. But I have left it in the top drawer on my nightstand. You can read the message when you are ready too. If I included the letter in this message, I'd become a mess, and I need to be strong enough to say goodbye. I love you, Rea. Goodbye.

Until we meet again, my Rea.

Sincerely Greyson Allori,

Ps. I'm sorry again, my angel.