Gambling Love

27. Imogen

Despite what I said to everyone after my miscarriage they had come to visit us in Chicago, my work even said I could take as much time as I needed but after a month I was going crazy especially because Jaiden was working from home.

I went back to work a month later, it was better for me keeping my mind occupied. Jaiden however was a pushover and kept talking about me going to see my therapist. I knew I had to go at some point because my anxiety was declining as well. With dealing with my shit, I know it's weighing down on Jaiden's shoulders as well, I shuffling a deck of cards once and that's when I decided to speak to a therapist, it was hard work but Jaiden was with me every step of the way, he made it easier to attend sessions with him at my side.

It's been a few months since the miscarriage and despite the how hard it's been, our wedding planning continues. Taryn and Genevieve have been helping me through texts, calls and FaceTimes. I owe them a lot because they've taken the load of it all.

We've talked a lot about our other options like IVF but even with both benefits it would still cost us so much, even on my nursing salary. I also don't know if I can handle all the treatments after hearing what other's stories are like.

"I think the best thing we ever decided to do was have a small wedding," I sigh tapping my pen on my cheekbone.

"Who needs people anyways," Jaiden hides his smile as he types away on his laptop at the counter. We've decided to have our wedding back in Pennsylvania, at a small garden venue with just our immediate friends, from Chicago as well, and Genevieve's grandparents. We decided not to send an invite to my mother, there's no point considering I haven't talked to her since we graduated college.

"Gen said Winona has her flower girl dress."

Jaiden smiles and looks up from his laptop, he closes it "I bet she's excited," He hums walking over.

"Overly," I hum looking down at the wedding catalog in front of me.

"Are you excited?" He asks rubbing my shoulder before sliding his hand down my spine. I look up at him and smile.

"Of course I'm excited," I give him a look. "I'm marrying you aren't I?" I tip my head.

He smiles and leans down to kiss my forehead "I'm excited too sweetheart. Anything I can help with?" He asks.

"Nah, I'm good," I say, ignoring the small twitch of his fingers on my back. "But dinner," I begin.

"Of course, my girl is always hungry. What are you feeling?"

"Tacos? I ask and he chuckles.

"Sorry to break it to you, we ran out last weekend. But I can make some wraps?" He suggests.

"Good idea," I pat his abs and he chuckles. Our bunny comes hopping into the room and I smile picking her up off the floor, settling her into my lap. We spend the rest of our night in the kitchen, I often find myself gazing to the fridge where we kept our first and only sonogram. Jaiden had taken it down a week after we got home. I haven't asked where he put it and he hasn't mentioned it at all, we've kind of been stepping on glass about the whole miscarriage. It's a touchy subject for both of us, understandably.

Later that night, Jaiden is finishing some work when I step out of our en-suite. When he sees me coming towards the bed, he shuts his laptop and slides it onto his nightstand. I shut off the main lights, leaving the lamp on as I slide into bed.

"You're too far, closer," He demands, I smile and scoot closer to him and he wraps his arm around me. We lay in silence and I bite my lip, the burning question has been in the back of my mind for weeks.