Roads Not Taken

DVD Extras

For those who want more detail about the DVD extras featuring Meredith and Baby Bear, I described them in Caffrey Disclosure. Below is a copy from that story so you don't have to go hunting for it.

Track three was an interview with a very sophisticated Irene Caffrey in her home in Washington D.C. Her husband wasn't an ambassador yet, but they had spent many years in the diplomatic corps and Irene was the epitome of poise and grace under pressure. The interviewer asked about Irene's cameo in the remake, in which she played a grandmother, and he seemed determined to make the case that she wasn't suited for the part.

"I do have two grandchildren, you know," she said drily at one point, but the interviewer repeated his opinion that no one could imagine Irene Caffrey as a grandmother, or even as a mother. In the nanny role in the original movie, he explained, she'd been near the age of the children and had been more of a cohort or big sister. No one, he repeated, could believe former comic actress Irene Randolph as parental or authoritative.

Finally Irene held up a hand, and said, "Shush. Kevin, is that you lurking back there?"

A voice off camera said, "Yes, ma'am."

"A producer, like your father, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said again.

"I remember your mother brought you to the set when we were filming the original movie. You couldn't have been more than a couple of months old, and I chatted with her sometimes when she changed your diaper. I want you to know that I still have her number, and if you let this farce continue I'll be giving her a call this evening."

Snickering could be heard from the cameraman.

A voiceover announced, "Needless to say, that interview never aired, and the reason you probably don't recognize the interviewer is that he was fired the next day. Mrs. Caffrey declined a follow-up interview, as the movie was slated for a Christmas release in the next few weeks and she said spending time with her family was her priority going into the holidays." The DVD clicked to the next track, and that same voice said, "The crew had arrived at Mrs. Caffrey's home about an hour ahead of the interviewer. They were given permission to film as they set up and adjusted the lights. In footage never seen before, one of our cameras followed the actress while she waited for the interview."

Irene Caffrey knelt in the middle of the room where the interview would take place. The folds of her pleated ivory skirt fell neatly around her, and an emerald green blouse complemented her eyes. Her golden hair was pulled back in an elegant twist. She looked around and said, "Well, I was going to introduce you to my grandson, but I don't know where he went. I do hope we find him soon. We'd be awfully upset if we lost him." Her voice had a teasing quality.

A childish giggle was heard.

"Oh, did you hear that? I wonder where that came from. Do you think it's him?"

The camera zoomed in on a child, about nine months old, peeking from behind a chair. He giggled again and then crawled toward her, babbling in baby speak.

"There you are!" Irene lifted the child, and he shrieked with laughter. She sat down on the sofa, bouncing him on her lap and talking to the crew until the child yawned. "Dear boy's getting tired. Is it your nap time, Neal?" she asked. He gave an even bigger yawn in response. "Yes, I thought so." She'd pulled him closer to her body, his head on her shoulder, and was about to stand up when another little boy ran into the room. He was three years old.

"Neal, Neal, Neal," he chanted as he ran. He skidded to a stop in front of Irene and announced, "I'm here."

"Yes, Henry, I noticed. Aren't you the little scoundrel?"

"What's a scoundrel?" he asked.

"It's a very clever boy who sneaks away from his grandfather."

He shrugged. "He had a phone call. It was boring. I wanna play."

"I'm sure Neal would like to play with you, too, but he can't right now. It's time for his nap."

Henry pouted. "He sleeps a lot."

Irene reached out to ruffle the disgruntled boy's hair. "It's tiring growing as fast as babies do. But he's working hard to become as big as you."

Henry clambered up the sofa to sit beside his grandmother and looked at Neal with disbelief. "He's really gonna get big as me?"

Wrapping her free arm around the boy, she nodded. Before Irene could say anything, a dark-haired woman entered the room. She wore an apron over a cream blouse and black slacks. "I thought I heard you in here. Henry, I'm looking for someone to help me finish the profiteroles."

"Profi..." He trailed off on his attempt at the unfamiliar word.

"Profiteroles," she repeated. "Someone needs to drizzle chocolate over them and then taste them. I need an expert to approve they're good enough for dessert tonight. Do you think you could do that?"

"Chocolate!" Henry slid off the sofa and took the hand extended toward him. He was halfway across the room in pursuit of a sugar high when he turned around and yelled, "Bye, Neal!"

The woman paused just inside the door to the hallway. "Do you need any help with him, Mom?"

Irene sniffed in disdain. "Don't insult me. Baby Bear and I will be fine."

"Baby Bear?" asked a voice off camera.

Irene beamed in the direction of the voice. "Would you hand me that bag? The blue one, behind you. Yes, that's it." A hand could be seen placing a bag on the sofa. Irene rooted around in it and pulled out a fuzzy onesie with bear ears on the hood. "Isn't it the most adorable thing? I had to buy it the moment I saw it." With practiced efficiency, she slid the baby into the onesie. "It's nice and cozy, and Neal sleeps best when he's warm."

"You call him Baby Bear because of the outfit?" asked a member of the crew.

"Nonsense. I bought the outfit because I call him Baby Bear. Come here." She beckoned. "Bring the microphone, right up to him." She turned the baby toward the camera. His face was scrunched up. "Hear that rumbly, growling sound? He does that when he's unhappy. It's our warning that he's about to cry. And that's my cue to take him up to his crib. I'll be back in a few minutes." She left the room. As she disappeared she could be heard cooing to the sniffling baby, "That's right. I know. You're tired, and I'm going to take you to a nice, comfy bed."