LOVE TALK - TXT BXB ONESHOTS

this is goodbye. <3 (for now)

Um,hello. I have no idea how am i gonna put this into words,but I'll try. First when i started writing,it was somewhere in 2019,or 2020,i never knew that I'd ever come this far,i thought no one is going to read my stories. They were flopping at the beginning but then more and more people started to read them and it made me extremely happy. I made my first 'proper' book (which was this one) in 2020,and i never ever thought this many people would love my books as much as they do,during these 2 years i haven't gotten even 1 complain,or hate comment which is crazy if you ask me. When i started taking writing seriously i always made every single idea into a story,i looked at ways to improve my skills as well since English isn't my first language at all,and i guess you could say that i improved a lot during these 2 years.

The first half of this year was great,i had my motivation to write and had lots of ideas well. Then all that started slowly fading away,while my mental health was going down as well,i had lots and lots of suicidal thoughts,my ex broke up with me,my ex best friend stopped talking to me and went to my ex instead. Then i went to this person that would change my life completely. We started off as friends,besties,and now recently it was our 5 month anniversary together. This cute person made my life shine again,and i thought everything is gonna be ok from now on...I was wrong,there were/are family problems that i hate so so much. If i could,I'd erase myself from this earth. Then on top of all that came the lack of motivation:

I started experiencing that my motivation for writing was very very low and my ideas were pure shit. It took me weeks to finish a 2k word oneshot,which in the past took me less than 2 days,and whenever I'd start writing my brain would just shut off,i can't find the right words,what i write ends up making 0 sense at the end. I thought if i took a break and read my previous works I'd snap back at it again. But that didn't help,so i would just force myself to write,sometimes just staring at my screen for hours without a single word written. I don't enjoy it as much as i did before.

That's why i decided to stop writing,i don't know when,or if I'll ever write something at all again. That's why i decided to post this,cause i didn't want to leave y'all without a word. You mean a lot to me,all of you are so precious and just the nicest people I've met. I might post little updates of how am I doing here and there.)

I am not deleting the app,so my dms are always open <3 as well as the dms on Insta: @ _kaisjun and my Twitter: @ _aestxthetic

I love you all dearly,and goodbye! <3