my inside job - a brett hand fanfic

part 1

"Alright, I better get going. See you!"

I close the door behind me. Fucking finally. A day is over. Working in the shadow government, a day feels like ten years. Work missions that put my life at risk, drama all the time, and the Robes, people who keep these weird secrets about my job or something. I'm not really sure. All I know is that a minute feels like a whole hour. And I'll be honest, it's nice, kind of. My job is cool, and I have some friends, but it's torture. And my family. Do I even start talking about them? I don't even care about them. But, whatever. Tomorrow, I have to do this again. Despite having different missions, every day feels the same. Like a loop. But that's what the shadow government does to you.

My stomach hurts. My head hurts. Everything hurts. And that's when it happened. I wasn't paying attention. I was walking with my head to the floor. My brain completely empty. Fiddling with something in my pocket. All of the sudden, an obstacle came in my way. My head ran into something nice. Soft, sort of, but hard.

"Hey, um, excuse me.."

"Oh! Sorry! I'm sorry um-"

I looked up and I was instantly in awe. This was the prettiest guy I've ever seen! That's cheesy as hell but it was true. His jaw line was perfect, and his hair, dark brown, nicely slicked back with hair gel. Light stubble. His suit had no wrinkles and his beautiful eyes, somewhat brown somewhat green, hazel I think it's called, made my heart flutter. His voice. Ooh, his voice. His voice was angelic. Deep, but not. Pronounced all the words correctly. Said his "um" quietly. Under his breath. His chest I could lay my head on for hours. His skin was smooth and he had a birthmark on his neck. I felt a warm feeling take over my face. I knew I was staring and he got embarrassed. And that was just so adorable. But- pause. I'm not supposed to fall in love with a guy. Am I even in love?

Nah. I'm just admiring another man's beauty...

Right?

-----

Another day. I didn't even ask him his name. But my heart beats whenever I think of him. I can't breathe when I think about him and I think I blush a little. He was the perfect man. The thing is, I'm not even supposed to be thinking about this guy like this. I'm straight, at least I think I am. But god damn! This guy.. his hair.. his face.. his perfect suit.. his skin.. and I can't even stop thinking about his lips-

"Hey Brett, lost in thought?" Reagan, my BFF, poked me on the shoulder (somewhat giggling).

"I'm pretty sure he's drooling," Myc, one of my co-workers added, laughing.

"I am not- um, I just dozed off. I'm okay," I sat up and tried to wipe the blush and the drool off my face. This guy has invaded my mind! I turned around and as Reagan began to walk away and start talking about work again, I tapped her on the shoulder

"Reagan, after this, I need to talk to you about something."

"Um.. alright, that's fine," She nodded. I nodded back.

Fuck! Am I actually gonna tell her about this? I mean, it's just one guy, right? I can't be gay. But.. no. Now that I think about it, I've never really liked girls before. Like, never had a crush on any I mean. What if she tells anyone? What if my family finds out? What if he finds out? I need to keep my perfect, basic straight white guy personality up. Oh god... What am I to do?

"Now he's sweating, hah!"

"Shut up Myc."

-----

I tap my finger on the table. When is Reagan gonna get here? I'm sweating and impatient... and now I don't even know if I should tell her. I'm telling her over drinks, and if I get too drunk I might let it slip. What if I'm not gay? What if I'm just trying to think I'm different? I don't know if the guy has a bad personality... he was just pretty. I might be lying to myself because I'm just so basic. I was told I was so basic I can't be cloned. I don't want to be basic really, but that's just who I am. I am Basic Brett. I sigh, and just as I was about to get up and leave Reagan walks in.

"Hey Brett, what do you want to talk to me about?"

"Oh, um, Reagan... you're here... great..." I tap my fingers together.

"Yeah... you seemed like you really needed to get this off your shoulders... so..." Reagan smiled a little.

"Here's the thing, Reags, I'm... I'm having second thoughts about telling you," I sit back down. I don't know what she'll say.

"Brett, if this is a secret... it's safe with me," she smiled at me, soothing me sort of.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Great- so um...I'm just going to order my drink first."

"Um, yeah, me too."

We sit back down with our drinks, my usual and her vodka.

"Vodka... that's a new one," I awkwardly laughed.

"No, not really," she sighed.

"Oh."

"...So are you gonna tell me?"

"I'm getting to that! Give me a sec," I cracked my knuckles and took a sip of my drink. Strong. Really strong. I knew I was going to get drunk fast. I better get it out as soon as possible.

"Reagan... I think.." I paused, took a sip, and sighed, "Reagan I think I'm gay."

"..What?"

"Or...or something like that. I don't know," I buried my head in my hands.

"Brett... your secret... it's safe with me. Um... yikes, I've never had anyone come out to me before. What... made you feel this way?"

"Like, I've never had a crush on a girl. They always have a crush on me but when they make a move on me and kiss me I never like it and I never feel the same way back... but um. Yesterday. Yesterday... I wasn't paying attention and I ran into this really pretty guy who kind of looked like your ex Ron.."

"He looked like Ron?"

"A lot like Ron. It wasn't him though. He didn't sound like Ron. He also had a birthmark on his neck. Reagan this guy... he was perfect. The most perfect guy to ever exist.. and I don't even know his name," I felt myself blushing again and I hid my face with my drink.

"Damn," she looked away.

"I don't know what I'd do if anyone found out that I'm gay. Especially my family... Reagan, please don't tell anyone..."

"Brett. I won't. I promise," she put her pinky out. I hesitated, but I grabbed it with my pinky. "So.. do you wanna find this guy?"