𝓜𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓪--𝓣.𝓜.𝓡

Time for change

(DISCLAIMER. THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WILL BE IN TOMS PERSPECTIVE AND ILL BE SO HONEST IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE DUE TO LOTS AND LOTS OF TEARS I HAVE SHED AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT ITS IN HIS PERSPECTIVE BECAUSE I THINK HE COULD TELL THIS PART BEST AMD EVEN THOUGH WE COULD BE MISSING A LOT OF ISABELLES FEELINGS ON THIS WHOLE THING DUE TO IT BEING HIS PERSPECTIVE, ITS BETTER TO BE TOLD FROM TOMS PERSPECTIVE WITH TOMS EMOTIONS AS THATS WHAT WILL BE EXPRESSED THE MOST IN THIS SITUATION ALSO THIS CHAPTER IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST CHAPTER IVE EVER WROTE AND PLS LEAVE FEEDBACK BECAUSE I WAS NERVOUS TO POST THIS)

                                                                               Tom's Pov 

It's been exactly  3 weeks and 6 days since the fight with Isabelle and honestly it hasn't gotten any easier. Everytime i see her it hurts especially when she avoids eye contact. I hate this feeling I shouldn't feel this way. I'm not supposed to feel anything and the fact i feel this way about her its indescribable. It is honestly killing me on the inside everytime i see her smile at something someone else says knowing i should be in that place, I should be the one making her laugh and experiencing that gorgeous smile of hers, I should be the one walking her to class and spending all my time with her. Its not right, And what's even worse is i can't tell if she's actually okay or not and the thought that she can be so okay without me hurts. I want her. but i can't. I have priorities. I NEED my future to go as planned. I cant let anyone get in the way of that. Its too much to give up. I have worked so hard to fulfill the power within and i cannot let her distract me from that. Do you know how hard it is growing up, being shunned for being different, a different that was unexplainable, being treated as an outcast, bullied my whole childhood, just because i was different? No no, it couldn't have been because i was different i mean everyone is different, not only was i different, but I was powerful. and they all knew it, that's why they made my childhood torturous, Because they were scared, felt as if they could belittle me i wouldn't be so powerful in their eyes, but in reality, all that did, was fuel the fire inside of me. The fire waiting to unleash pain and suffering on everyone whos ever attempted to be better than me. They STARTED my distaste for this world. They shown me how cruel they could be. How cruel fear could make you. Its a pity they let fear control them. But now, no now is different. They WILL feel how I felt. Everyone will. I promise you that. Everyone. Everyone except her. I know that could be my downfall alone. But I cant stand the thought of her having to feel the way i felt, to go through what i went through, especially inflicted by me, i cant allow myself to hurt her no matter how much i would want to. which is why i need her as far away from me as possible. She loves me and I... I cant love her. My whole life has been spent with only few emotions. Anger, vengeance, and pain. Never once have I ever felt happiness until I met her. Not once have I ever felt loved by anyone, not even myself, until I met her, Until I met her all i could see was blood. Not mine, but others. Until I met her, every part of my life was filled with this undying pain inside and the urge to inflict that pain on everyone else around me, but her? I couldn't. Im incapable of pushing that pain to her. She's changing me. and I can not let that happen. I have spent my whole life, every part, cringing myself to where i'm at, and if i let my walls down for her, that will all just be gone. at that moment it was decided. Isabelle Malia Celeste was to be out of his life forever. 

                                                        3 months later, June 13, 1942 Toms pov

It's been exactly 3 months since the day Tom has decided to ignore Isabelle. He has avoided her at all costs sitting next to different people in lessons always staying back and being the last to leave so he doesnt run into her or showing up super early, he'd always be the first to breakfast and leave before others came he would skip lunch and sit at the very end of the table during the feast to avoid confrontation. Everytime he felt her staring he would keep his head buried in the empty pages of his diary. Even without talking to her he could tell it hurt her, it hurt him too but he was a little better at hiding it than she was. He didn't know her direct opinion on the whole situation but he could tell she was hurt, at least for the first two months. One day she stopped showing emotion completely. she was just blank. This time it was his turn to stare at her he took in the mere changed to her appearance. Her skin had become ever so slightly pale, and her under her eyes, purple as if she hadn't been sleeping. He would see her at meals too but she only ever really ate little bits. He didn't know what caused her change in demeanor but it couldn't have been him as she wasn't like this before. Even though it hurt to see her like that he couldn't necessarily just go up and ask her. but tonight, no tonight he couldn't be thinking about her right now. Tonight's the night he begins his true journey on his road to success, to power, Tonight's the night he becomes forever. Tonight, Tom riddle will split his soul, something he should have done a long time ago, and he will make his first ever horcrux and continue on the path he was destined to take. He waited until midnight, when he new the corridors and common room would be clear, (or so he thought) he made his way discreetly out of his dor into the common room heading straight for the portrait, but in his rush to not be seen he didn't notice the one girl he's been avoiding sitting in the corner of the room watching him intently. He made his way out of the portrait all the way to the chamber of secrets. as he entered he wasted no time summoning serpentina. She came immediately and upon greeting, bowed her head to tom. Tom didn't acknowledge the greeting as he was too caught up in his own thoughts.  After a few seconds a hissing noise came from toms mouth otherwise known as him communication with serpentina through parseltongue. He ordered her to kill. not just kill anyone. But to kill the whiney mudblood also known as moaning myrtle. serpentina looked hesitant but after looking into his eyes she saw pure darkness and she knew she had no choice but to comply.  With a bow of her head she slithered up the pipes to the bathroom tom knew myrtle was in as he took a week to study her schedule and she almost always spent this time of night crying in self pity which if he's being completely honest he found pathetic. Looking over the chamber his eyes fell upon the bed him and Isabelle had fallen asleep in that one night and for a split second, his eyes softened at the thought before returning to its previous empty look. He turned around sharply making his way to the exit of the chambers. As hr made his way to the bathroom he heard quiet sobs and he immediately smirked wickedly. He entered the girls lavatory silently watching with the same smirk as he saw myrtle on the floor with her knees to her chest letting out whiney sobs. Her head snapped to the direction of the noise of the door opening and her faced immediately paled. Tom gave her a sweet smile as hissing could be heard from within the walls. Myrtles head looked in all directions trying to find where this hissing was coming from with no avail. As tom studied the girl in front of him Isabelle quickly crossed his mind but he pushed that thought to the back of his head. Myrtle took a deep breath going to question Tom but as soon as she opened her mouth she was met with the bright yellow eyes of the old basilisk. Silence. that's all that could be heard after the thud of myrtles body laying slump on the floor. Toms smirk reappeared as he watched her lifeless body. he watched as all the color slowly drained from her face and how her eyes became dull, empty, most of all, lifeless. He didn't even notice serpentina slithering away back into the chambers. After about 10 minutes of him just watching the victim of the murder he had just committed he made his way back to the chamber to begin the next part of his plan. he was met with a sleeping serpentina in the chambers that felt more cold and empty then usual or that could've just been the slight ping in his chest he felt as isabelle once again crossed his mind but he'd never admit that. He stared at his diary that laid blankly on the floor in front of him. He kneeled down opening the diary preparing himself for the thing he was about to commit himself to. He looked from the diary to his wand before taking a deep breath looking over to the bed him and isabelle had previously shared. He shook his head trying to stop thinking about her. He closed his eyes letting his intentions repeat in his head as he brought his wand to his chest. he didn't need to say a specific spell, he only needed to think about what he was trying to accomplish and what horrible evil he had did to make it happen. and then he felt a small sting in his chest but he didn't let himself get distracted. He kept going and the sting soon felt like someone was slicing open his chest with hundreds of the sharpest knives and cutting a whole inside of him. He let out a noise of pain still pushing himself as his chest started glowing yellow. He felt exhausted but pried his eyes opens trying to point his wand to the diary but struggling to do so before he was reminded why he was doing this and he used the last bit of strength he had to pull his wand from his chest and point it to the diary. Then His whole chest and the diary both shined a blinding yellow before he let out a loud noise of agony and then it became dark and diary closed. He felt gutted. He fell forward leaning his head against the floor with his arms on either side. his hair was messy and he was sweating a lot but he was extremely tired and in so much pain he couldn't even move. not even a bit without feeling like he's been crucio'd for hours straight. so as he gave up on attempting to get up. he let himself fall on his side staring blankly at the wall. He didn't feel okay. he felt inhumane and although that being what he originally intended, he couldn't help but wonder if he made the wrong decision. with the last bit of strength he had he muttered a cleaning spell to clean himself up a bit and passed out with isabelle on his mind, and his diary by his head.