A Difficult Christmas

Chap 1

LA.

'Does it ever feel like we're ever going to see her again?' Deeks asked, looking at Hetty's empty office.

'Can't think like that, it'll eat you up inside.' Kensi replied.

'Nobody's heard from her all year, there's been 2 attempts on her life this year that we know of, and no one knows where she is. I can't even find Nate anywhere! Some days, I worry we're going to hear of a dead body being found, and that it'll be hers.'

'I miss her too. And I don't say it much, but I also worry. But we can't let it fully consume us. Callen is trying his best to find her, and when he does, I'll make sure we're both ready to bring her home if she needs to be rescued.'

Smiling. 'Aw, you always know how to cheer me up.'. Deeks affectionately said.

Bullpen.

'You look like you're lost in thought. You doing okay?' Sam asked, sitting down on the couch.

'Just thinking on a few things. Anna, how this year has gone, and what the suspect's father said to me in the boatshed.' Callen replied, taking a sip of his drink.

'The stuff about forgiveness, window of opportunity, and regret? Thinking about Hetty?'

'I've, come to regret what I said to her all those months ago. After hearing about 2 attempts on her life this year, not hearing from her at all, not knowing if she's alive, if what I said to her ends up being the last thing I ever say to her, I don't think I can ever forgive myself.'

'Fair point. What about your past?'

'I've done a lot of hard thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that if I don't hear her side of all this, none of it will ever make sense. And, I don't want an empty chair at my wedding.' Callen replied.

'If she's out there somewhere, we'll find her. No matter how long it takes.' Sam finished.

Underground bunker somewhere in Syria.

'I don't know. She's mostly been lounging in her armchair, or going over stuff that she's gone over multiple times. You'll have to ask her yourself. I got dinner to make.' Keane told Nate.

Nate went over to talk to Hetty, who was looking at a scroll.

'Can I talk?'

'Take a seat if you want.' Hetty replied.

He sat down, and Hetty put her scroll down.

'So, what did Keane want you to talk to me about this time? Not sleeping enough? Being too buried in work? Looking too distant? He does know how rough this whole year has been for me, right?' Hetty asked.

'Man, she's good!' Nate thought, amazed at Hetty's mind reading ability. 'Keane is just a bit concerned that the holidays are affecting you negatively. You've been more absorbed with your work, you eye roll or grumble each time he brings up Christmas. He just wants to know.'

'Why would they affect me negatively? After all, I'm still trying to complete a very dangerous mission, got no time for Christmas.'

'You sure? Or are you actually just missing home?'

Silence.

Deep sigh. 'You got me. Christmas makes me think of home too much, and how I once again can't be there. So yes, it bothers me.' Hetty said.

'That's understandable. You've got myself and Keane though, so you're not alone.' Nate pointed out.

'Thankfully. I'm very grateful for what you've both done for me this past year, truly. Just hope it doesn't end up being for nothing in the future.'

After eating dinner, Hetty felt cheerful enough to put her work aside for a bit and sing Christmas songs, and Keane and Nate joined in.

Everyone was still so unfairly separated at the holidays. But there was hope out there, hope that they would all 1 day soon all be back home again, and back with their loved ones.

Yeah, this can kind of double as what CBS once again refused to give us because they wanted to air more new Christmas movies on Sundays in December. Merry Christmas.