wow did I actually write this ? o_o
Idk if it's good or no , should I continue ?? Let me know in the comments , k ?
(TW: MENTION OF SUISIDE AND SELF HARM)
Hope you like it <3
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The sun's rays of the fourth day without sleep began to enter through the thin curtains into a gloomy room .
The floor was filled with the remnants of broken furniture and the silence that prevailed in the place was broken by the sound of the ticking of the clock .
As if a hurricane had passed leaving behind debris , chaos , and an unwelcome calm .
However , the furniture was not the only broken thing in the room , there was a young woman sitting on the sofa .
Her eyes were swollen perhaps from lack of sleep or from too much crying .
Her face began to turn pale as she had hardly eaten or drunk for the past weeks .
Her breath was heavy and intermittent as if she was suffocating .
Her throat was dry and sore from the many screaming .
Her hands are scratched from smashing her glassware - while she was in shock - after receiving the sad news .
As for her heart , which was immersed in grief , it began to beat quietly and slowly .
As if she was dead ...
She looked more like a corpse than a human being . Whoever sees her will find it difficult to believe that this lifeless woman was once full of joy and happiness , or as Toji once said :
"warm and bright like the summer sun"
_________________
Hours passed while she was in this position , staring empty-eyed at the ground While her hands tremble in her lap , her mind - which was barely still functioning - was thinking , nay wondering .
why is life still insisting on showing its bad sides to Yoko ? Why does this poor woman have to live all this sadness and experience all this pain alone ? Wasn't what she went through in the past enough ?
Was it necessary to lose the only person she loved ?
A mix of anxiety and overthinking began to overwhelm her weak body , Her heartbeat accelerates and her vision became blurry due to the tears that began to form in her eyes .
With a sharp creak at her ear , Yoko grabbed her head and tugged her long , silky hair between her fingers while she closed her eyes tightly - trying to expel the bad thoughts and feelings from her mind - and her breathing became heavier and heavier .
Her body was shaking violently , and tears were pouring from her eyes without any sound coming out of her mouth .
She hated life after his death - the one whose death seemed impossible -
Did she want to commit suicide ? Yes , without a doubt , but the only thing that was stopping her from doing this was that promise she made to him , to Toji - her true and only love - one day .
Although he was strong if not the strongest in his field , he knew that his job as a sorcerer killer was very dangerous and that someday he might not be able to go home to her .
Therefore , he asked her to make a promise to him , that no matter how sad she was for his separation she would never think of ending her life . Rather , he asked her to go beyond that , to return and continue living as if she had never known him .
She felt confused when he asked her to do so . Toji was always confident in himself and sure that no one could overthrow him no matter how strong he was .
Such words coming out of his mouth was almost impossible , especially since Toji wasn't the sensitive type or the one who showed his feelings . Even if he loved her so much and she knew that , he had never said such a thing before .
Is it possible that his next target is so strong that he made the doubt of victory creep into his heart ? or was he sure that his next mission would be the last ?
It was easy for Yoko at that time to shake the negative thoughts and to promise Toji that she would continue her life without him - even though she knew it was a lie - but now she feels remorse.
She wish she hadn't made that promise , if she hadn't , one shot would have been able to end her current torment .
Yoko got up quickly from the sofa and ran to the bathroom . She washed her face several times with cold water in order to expel those thoughts that were more like ghosts inhabiting her mind , coming to her every day to add to her concern . She trembled violently as she raised her head to see herself in the mirror , red eyes , pale face and heavy breathing .
" What's going on with you..."
she mumbled to herself , " you were strong once.... you depend only on yourself... " The feeling of anger began to rise slowly in her chest , then she bit her lips harshly , " Why are you falling apart now ? because you lost someone you lived with for just a year ?" she yelled.
Her shaky body betrayed her, so she sat on the ground . It is true that she only lived with Toji for one year , but she got used to his presence with her , and his protection for her . She felt safety and belonging with him , the two feelings that left her throughout all her life .
She pulled her legs together to her chest , and barye her face in her knees as sobs began to escape her mouth . Sitting on the bathroom floor, crying heartily for the loss of her lover, this is how she has been for days, no food or sleep, only depression and a strong desire to die after losing what seemed to be everything for her .
How can life be so cruel ?
How can it bring together two people who have loved each other from a long time , only to come back and separate them once and for ever ?
-Natsumi <3
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𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑬 || Toji fuchiguro x Oc
Fanfiction" I promise you that I will leave this clan one day and never return to it " ....." I promise , if you grow up to be a beautiful hot lady , I will marry you " ....." I promise you that as long as am with you no one can hurt you " Toji made many prom...
