One Wine Night (Good Night Series # 1)

Kabanata 3

Papa

I could not process what I heard outside the comfort room. I was losing all the sanity that I had. I want to punch myself. To hurt myself physically, maybe I am just dreaming? I should be awakened by now.

"Walang mawawala kung susubukan natin."

"Hindi buntis is Lara, Lime..."

"I will try, mom. Walang mawawala sabi ni Lime," I am already trembling, my feet get weaker. Wala akong lakas makipaglaban ngayon.

"You don't have to do it, anak," even my mom do not know what to do. Naaninag ko ang luhang tumutulo sa kanyang mga mata. She's trying to wipe it away. Gusto ko siyang lapitan at yakapin.

"Just stay there," aniya.

Bago pa ako nakapagprotesta nagtama na ang aking mga mata sa aking ama, sumunod na rin ang kanyang mga magulang, mga kapatid, ang aking pinsan at ang mga bata.

Mas lalo akong nanghina sa nakita. I am not pregnant. Hindi nga ako buntis. Hindi ako natatakot... That fucking man is expert with that set up, sigurado akong ayaw no'n maging ama. So why would he impregnate a stranger, right?

"What happened?"

"Aakyat muna kami sa itaas," my mom glared at me. I know she wanted me to follow her. I followed my mom silently upstairs.

"Caroline!" Dad called my mom.

"Babalik kami."

"Nahihirapan ang anak mong humakbang!" si Daddy.

"She can manage herself," si mommy.

Hindi na ako kumibo at patuloy lang sa paghakbang. Pinauna ako ni mommy, hindi niya ako hinahawakan pero ang mga mata niya ay aktibong nakatitig sa akin.

Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang nadatanan ang aking pinsan paglabas niya sa kanyang kwarto.

Napaawang ang kanyang labi at napatingin sa ibaba.

"Can we use your bathroom?"

"Yes, tita,"

I know mom is angry with me. Bakit ako pumayag magPT kung sigurado naman akong hindi ako buntis? Hindi ko napanindigan ang pagiging mabuting anak niya. With that one night, I am at this mess.

I know, I am not. Napahawak ako sa aking tiyan bago pumasok sa kwarto ng pinsan, she hand me the PT.

"The instruction is there," aniya.

"Collete..."

"I am not angry with you. I will not be angry with you. Whatever the result, know that we are always here for you."

Lime got teary-eyed, and amid chaos in my heart, I smiled at my mom.

"Thank you, mommy."

I slowly lock the door. Sinalubong ako ng malaking salamin, I can see the reflection of me. This is my weakest... I know. I can't even look at myself again.

I read the instruction, but every word is difficult to understand. The process is difficult to follow. No matter how I convince myself that the result is negative, I can't hide the fact that I am too afraid to accept. I am pregnant.

I closed my eyes for a very long time till my eyes welcomed the two red lines. Nakahawak ako sa kit. I tried to blink many times; I wished I was just dizzy. Na dalawa ang paningin ko kahit isa.

"Lar... can mom enter?"

Nang narinig ko ang boses ni mommy doon na ako nagsimulang humagulhol.

"Jesus, Elara!"