Seeking Refuge | Neteyam

Chapter Two

I almost fell off Laea when we got back to the village. But Neteyam caught me before I could fall onto the ground. He steadied me on my feet and lightly guided me towards Kiri's medical tent, his hand gently placed on the small of my back. My head hung low as tears streamed out of my empty eyes.

As soon as Kiri saw me, she dropped the bandages she was using on someone and pulled me into a hug. Tuk followed soon after, "Ayn! You're okay!"

"Go easy on her," Neteyam softly said to them, his voice sounding as numb as I felt.

Questioning looks spread across the two girl's faces, and the tears just came crashing as hard as they did before. I dropped down onto the closest mat, breaking out into more sobs. Looking down, I realized their blood was all over me--not just my hands. The scenes kept replaying in my mind as I stared at my red-stained body.

Even the darkest of stars brighten up the night sky.

I heard the siblings' whispering further away from me, their gasps making my ears wince. Suddenly, the rest of the Sully family burst into the tent. Jake immediately dropped down beside me, pulling me into his chest and holding me. Neytiri appeared beside him and wrapped her arms around me as well.

I felt Jake's tears landing on the top of my head and heard Neytiri's sniffles. "T-they," I stammered between sobs, "Uncle-"

"Shh, shh," he whispered, gently rubbing his hand up and down the back of my head. "I know, baby girl."

"Oh, sweet Ayn'at," Neytiri whispered, rubbing her hand along my back.

Tuk suddenly landed beside us, squeezing her way into the small gap between me and Neytiri. She wrapped her tiny arms around my waist and cried with us. Then, Neteyam, Kiri, and Lo'ak were sitting beside us as well.

We sat there for a while, just sitting in the presence of each other and crying.

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I left right after the funeral, rushing back home. It felt like my heart was being carved out from my chest. The pain just grew to be more and more unbearable. I was an orphan now.

I lay on my mat, my body racking with sobs as the tears slipped from my eyes. Many people came to check on me, the Sully family being the first. They all gave me their condolences, each person dropping off some food or small gifts.

Some tried to get me to go outside and spend time with the people. They didn't want me to be alone. But I always refused. I wanted to be alone. It went on like that for a few days before Jake randomly popped in.

"Hey, kid," he gave me a light smile as he sat beside me.

I mustered up the best smile I could and sat up. "Hi, Uncle Jake."

He took a breath before speaking, "So, the family and I have been talking... and we want you to move in with us." He paused. "You don't have to give an answer right now. Just think about it. We want you to be surrounded by support, we love you kid."

I nodded. "Thank you. I'll let you know."

He smiled and got up, placing a kiss on the top of my head before standing up completely. "Come to us if you ever need anything."

"Yes, sir." I whispered as he walked out. I sat there, thinking about his offer. Of course, I'd love to move in with them. It would relieve so much pain and weight off of me. But I didn't want to be a burden to them.

More days went by, each one getting harder than the one before. I was barely eating and had stayed in my tent entirely since the funeral. People still came by to check on me—the Sully's being the main ones.

Sometimes, Kiri and Tuk would come by and make bracelets with me or tell me stories of Kiri helping in the medical tent. Other times, Lo'ak would come in with Spider and blab on about the weird things they found in the forest. Neteyam would come by to drop off some water and get rid of the trash around the tent. He wouldn't speak much, though. Maybe it was because he knew I preferred the silence. Neytiri and Jake came by often to drop off food or talk me into moving in with them again. And I would give the same excuse: "I need more time."

One night, I was going through my parents' old things, trying to reminisce on our memories together. Something caught my eye as I picked up a board and put it on the floor. It was their bracelets; I took them off after the funeral to wash the blood off them, and I forgot to put them back on.

A sudden rush of pain came over me at the sight of them. I picked them up before collapsing to the ground and holding them tight to my chest. The small items were supposed to represent our family's love. But what love was there to give if there was no family?

I gasped for air as the tears began again, my head falling back against the board. I was overwhelmed by all the emotions, and it felt like for the first time since their death, I was truly feeling the worst pain of it all. It finally hit me.

I was an orphan.

I wanted to scream—scream like I did when they died. But I couldn't. I didn't want to bring the people running to see if I was okay. My mother's words kept replaying in my mind.

Even the darkest of stars brighten up the night sky.

I had to be strong, but how could I? It hurt too much.

A figure appeared at the entrance of my tent, his eyes softening once they landed on me.

Neteyam.

Gently placing the water beside my mat, he walked over and sat beside me. He opened his arms, and without a second thought, I leaned in.

He didn't even say anything; just held me as I cried. We sat there for a while before the tears finally stopped.

"Move in with us," he whispered.

A sniffle left my nose. "Okay."

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Neteyam stayed with me that night, keeping his distance but comforting me with his presence. He ended up sleeping on an extra mat we had. I offered one of my parents' mats, but he declined. He said that all their items were sacred now, and he wanted to preserve their memory.

The next morning, he went to his family's tent—which wasn't that far away—and told them about my decision. Jake was there soon after, helping me move all my belongings into their home. We decided it was best to leave all of my parents' belongings in our tent, as it would preserve their memory—like Neteyam said.

The only things I brought with me were their bracelets, which I kept on my left wrist. It didn't take long for me to adjust—I've spent nights with them before, after all. But living with them seemed to lift so much weight off me, and I felt like I could breathe again.

Jake told me I could come with them on missions again whenever I felt ready. In the meantime, I was helping Kiri out in the medical tent. It was nice to get my mind off of things, and the pain eventually began to ease down. I still cried myself to sleep most nights, but I was sure it was bound to end soon.